My Marriage

Why does my wife want another man?

I am a thirty-one-year-old plumber named John Saycheck. My wife Ruth is one year younger. Ruth and I were married and joined at the hip for the last ten years. We began our life adventure when we were teenagers. We both felt puppy love the first time we met. It developed into true love, and we married when I turned twenty-one. I have been happy with our marriage. We planned on having children when Ruth turned thirty this year.

Ruth

I have a tedious job in a dental office. My duties are humdrum. Life for me is dreary. We never go anywhere. John has his horse racing and his football. When I push, he takes me out to eat. When we were first married, he would take me dancing, restaurants, and occasional play. It slowed down to a trickle. I believe it's because he is pretty happy where we are, and that is that. The only highlight in our marriage presently is our sex life.

When we were on our honeymoon, both of us were virgins. My first experience was painful. John is the type of person who does not procrastinate but immediately attempts to solve a problem. We went to a highly recommended sex therapist. It was money well invested. After a few months of therapy, we were operating on all cylinders.

The main thing he taught us was how to communicate. We were always to pass on our desires. Even if we thought they might be objectionable to our partners. With practice, we both learned each other's buttons.

We both know we are above-average partners when it comes to sex.

I will come back to my current status. When I come home from work, I cook supper. John and I do not have a long conversation. He is interested in horses, and I am interested in books. Our jobs are never part of the conversation.

After dinner, John does the dishes. I watch the news. At about seven PM, I start reading, and John does his horses. We may watch one TV show together, but it's rare. Our taste is quite different.

At about ten o'clock, we go to bed. About once a month, we have excellent monkey sex, which both of us love. Maybe twice a week, we have soft cuddly sex. We both are too tired for monkey sex.

We had planned on starting to have children this year. I fear falling into a monotonous lifestyle that will only worsen after the babies start popping. I want to have some exciting events before that happens. Maybe make some significant changes in my life soon.

At this point, it is clear that I want something to change.

The office I work in has two doctors. A father and son share the office. I work for both of them. Every day I get an hour for lunch. I stop at a local diner, eat lunch and then go for a walk before returning.

One day I notice the young doctor, Ray coming into the diner. I wave for him to join me. We had an enjoyable conversation, which caused me to skip my regular walk. The next day he stops and keeps coming each day. I have to assume he enjoys my company. He is also a vicarious reader. We share the same music. Both of us love going to plays. The only significant difference is he is an introvert, and I am an extrovert. These qualities enhance our conversations. He is also handsome.

Ray has been married for two years with one child. His wife does not enjoy sex. That is the only part of his marriage he is disappointed. I explained how John and I straightened out our problem. He immediately suggested that I could help him get better in bed. I told him to get a therapist. He suggested me.

I was flattered. I told Ray I would not under any circumstances cheat on my husband." I liked Ray but not enough to risk my marriage.

Over the next few days, we covered the subject in depth. Ray recalled my conversation where I said, "I only had sex with my husband in my entire life." He suggested, "For excitement, I should broaden my experience."

Ray then came up with the idea of asking, "John to let me have a pass for just one weekend. A pass sounded pretty good to me, and I would not risk getting caught. Telling John that you wanted to experience another man before you started on the babies. That life was very boring, and you wanted to try it once."

I realized that John would not be pleased with this solution. Ray said, "Ask him he may surprise you. Some men want their wives to have some experience."

I spent some time thinking about it. I thought, "What the hell. The most he can do is say no."

A few nights later, after supper, I bought up the subject, "John do you think it would be possible for me to have one weekend off from our marriage?" He answered, "Are you talking about a weekend of infidelity?"

I replied, "Yes, but only one weekend and never again.

John said, "Do you realize that it could wreck our marriage?"

I said, "Never, only one fast fling without any attachments."

He said, "I have a list of reasons why it is a terrible idea. What if you fall in love with the guy?" Ruth said, "I been with you for years. One or two nights with someone else will not going to turn my head. My love for you is as real and as important and would never change."

John

"My answer is no! Never!."

"John, this is important to me. It will not hurt our marriage."

"You do not know it, but it has already damaged it. Do you wish a divorce?"

"No! Are you crazy?"

John said, "I will not agree to it. You can do it without my consent. I can't stop you, but it will cause consequences. Think about it for a few days, and then I will discuss it again."

John

I thought to myself, "How can a woman that loves me inflect that pain? I will not only disagree, but I will prepare myself for a divorce. I have to plan this out carefully."

Ruth

"This did not go well. John is hurt and angry. I will have to drop this plan. Ray will have to find another way. When I talk to John next time, maybe I can explain better. If John explodes, I will drop it."

John

"Ruth probably has the man picked out. I will try one more idea."

Two days later, after supper, I bought it up for discussion. I said, "I believe that you have a person picked out. Is that true?"

She responded, "Yes."

"Is he from work?" "Yes." How can you sleep with a guy from work once? Then ignore him at work?"

"Well, we would remain friends."

"Bullshit, am I supposed to sit home while someone that you fucked you meet at work every day. You have a low opinion of me. How could any man put up with that shit? You must believe I am stupid, ignorant, and a weak wimp. Why would anyone want to be married to a jerk like that? Do not answer. There isn't any answer that would not demean me.

I will make you a deal. We will stay together for one month. During that time, I will do everything I can to make you happy. Hoping that at the end of the month you will think it is a bad idea and cancel. Meanwhile, you and I will not have sex with each other or with anyone else.

The second part of the deal is you will do everything you can during the month to make me happy. Hoping I will feel so much in love and want to make you happy that I will go along with you fucking that guy all weekend."

Ruth

"I will go along with it. You misunderstand what I want. I am not after sex with another person but just an exciting weekend before I get pregnant."

John

"Well, you probably will have to get pregnant by someone else because if I find you had sex with another man, I will never touch you again."

John

"Well, should we start tomorrow, or are you against the plan?"

"No. I want to try as soon as possible. Tomorrow's fine."

John

"I will sleep in the guest room for the month; it will be easier to avoid sex.

Ruth said, "Why do you want to avoid sex?"

"Because I doubt I can function with the thought of my wife wanting to fuck another man.

Tomorrow, let's go out to dinner."

"OK."

John

We went to dinner at an excellent restaurant. Both of us had a lovely time. We agreed not to talk about the possibilities at the end of the month.

Ruth

When I told Ray about what was happening, he was surprised. He felt from the conversation that John would go along with it. I mentioned what John said about working with a co-worker I had fucked. He said, "We would cross that bridge later. "

Meanwhile, I tried to accommodate what I thought would make John happy. I asked him to invite his buddies over for Sunday's football game. I made various snacks for them and had a couple of cases of beer on hand.

John asked me to go to dinner and then to a dance on Saturday night. I told Ray the place we were going dancing. That was an error. When we reached the club, Ray was seated with his wife at a table. John and I danced a few times before Ray came over. He said he recognized Ruth. He asked her to dance. She started to say no when I interrupted and said, "Certainly."

A woman came out of the ladies' room wearing a sexy, smutty-looking dress. I rushed over and asked her to dance. She was attractive but looked like a slut. She agreed, and we shared two dances. I thanked her and returned to our table. Ruth was not pleased. I told her to tell Ray I knew he was the man trying to cuckold me. She was surprised but did not comment. I said, "Let's not ruin the evening." We stayed awhile and left.

I asked her not to tell Ray when we went out. I didn't particularly appreciate running into him.

After that, he never showed up.

Ruth

I wished Ray had not been so stupid. I felt bad for John. He is attempting to romance me, and a competitor shows up. I told Ray off. I stopped having lunch with him. I told him I was turning down his offer. I loved my husband too much to have sex with someone else.

John bought me flowers and took me to the racetrack. Both of us had fun. We spent every night. I was delighted.

John

All I had done to please Ruth had been working out well. We were bonding. I tried everything I could to make Ruth happy.

Ruth and I even both won money at the track. I spent every night at least one hour talking to her.

Ruth

This last month was fun. I looked forward to going home. We talked about when we first went out. We talked about the first years of our marriage. It was fun. Both of us wanted sex. So did John, but we stayed celibate.

Tonight was the night before the big weekend.

Ruth

John and I sat down and started to discuss the last month. John asked if I still wanted the weekend. I said no. I told him that it had been an enormous mistake. I did not realize just bringing it up caused so much pain. I told him that I had stopped having lunch with Ray after he showed up at the dance. I also said since I wanted a baby, it was a good idea to quit my job. I wanted to do all I could to show how much I loved him. I would never dream of bringing it up again.

John

I started crying. I had planned on divorcing Ruth no matter what she said. However, this touched me. I also was moved by the incredible month we had. I could not give it all up and start over. I was guilty as much as her by my neglect. Marriage requires work. I had been sitting back and not doing the work.

I told her I recognized my responsibility for some of the problems. I realized that this would not have occurred if we kept our daily communication as open as our sex communication.

I then showed her the letter I was going to give her if she went on the weekend.

Dear Ruth,

I love you and always have you with my whole heart. The pain you have inflicted is unbearable. Whether you went or not, I still would probably divorce you. The first night you mentioned the weekend, I was sure you had lost your love for me. If you loved me, you would never inflict that pain. We could have worked anything out as long as you still loved me. I could not have children with you knowing you would drop me for another stud. I plan on getting a vasectomy, so I will never have to worry about getting trapped by a woman. I will never trust any woman.

I hope I never see you again. I am moving a long-distance away. If we ever run into each other, please ignore me. Laughing at me would be very cruel.

I enjoyed this last month even though I was aware there wasn't much hope.

Bye,

John

Ruth

When I read John's letter, it burned my soul. I never thought my action would incur such pain. I thought John would reject it, and we would move on. I am so happy he changed his mind about the divorce. We both commit to working on our marriage constantly.

Epilogue

Ruth got pregnant shortly after the incident. She had left her job and was working on ways to increase their bonds. Both continued to talk as much as possible. John and Ruth found a shared hobby growing a garden. They grow houseplants together. Neither of them is perfect. They are both improving and constantly helping each other. Their life together is now much closer than it ever was. They have an incredible baby girl. Ruth and John are delighted to be together.

Ray sent a note to both of them that he went to our sex therapist and that life is good.