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Click here"Maybe this one won't care."
I stuck my tongue out at him.
"The story isn't that bad dear."
"Oh yes it is, we had absolutely no peace, and I would still love to beat some sense into those two taking up space in our dungeon."
I stroked his cheek.
"Yes I know."
After watering the flowers I picked up Midna and walked with Zeos back into the castle, Jackson looked just like me and Gia had her father's looks. I was hoping the next one would look like a mix of the two of us like Midna did. Even though Lilly still lives I took a lot of pleasure out of seeing her black and blue when I was safely returned to the castle. The vessel, 'my human mother' was killed, she had been my mother for a long time and in the end I gave her a proper burial. I kept a picture of my human father on my vanity, I still missed him he protected me my whole life until the end of his after all.
I watched Gia play with my niece Elliana, she looked like Bebe, next to her was my nephew Carson and he looked just like his dad, Ella was jealous. I set Midna down and glanced out the window, Tobias was showing Jackson how to properly ride a horse. Jackson followed his older brother everywhere like a lost puppy. Tobias never complains, he has no problem humoring any of his younger siblings. Constantinos and Gabbie were focusing on filling their home with more children one room at a time.
Bebe poked my stomach.
"I swear you two get it on like rabbits in heat try and wait a month until after this one comes before you get knocked up again."
I huffed.
"You say that like it's my fault." I said.
"It is your fault I'm innocent in this whole thing." Zeos said.
I elbowed him in the stomach.
"You're far from innocent pervert."
He kissed my cheek, I smiled slightly life is good.......for now.
( I decided not to drag it on, trust me I know it's terrible and I suppose I could have done several things differently. So if it makes you feel better, I might do an alternate ending type story when I get a better idea. All in all, it at least could have been worse right? I'd give myself half a star for at least finishing it. Although if you liked any of this, I'm glad to hear it :D.)
I think you should do a q & a with your characters. I think it would be a better way at getting to know them.
I loved it. After reading the last chapter it made me want to read more. Such great characters and a good plot. I hope there is more to the story.
I really liked the story plot but I ended up getting confused and lost as the story progressed especially the last two chapters.
Disappointed. Not what I was expecting but still a good read none the less. Thanks for an enjoyable story.
Ok so I have to say I'm a little bit confused. BUT this is YOUR story and ultimately what you write goes. Yes this could have been a little bit more well written, there were a lot of really good twists, some really dumb decisions, and I had actually thought I knew what was going to happen in the end, so happy to say I was completly wrong. You made this story stand out, and for that you are remarkable.
I hoped that this chapter would clarify the last one. It just confused me further. I am really disappointed. Please take your time with your other stories so that this travesty doesn't happen again.
I feel like these last two chapters were rushed and arent anywhere near what you can truly do. It feels almost like the whole story was just rolled up and shoved down the readers throat. Honestly you need to just go back and hash the scenes out more and explain whats happening during the time intervals instead of speeding through all of it. For the time being you reallly should just take these last two chapters down. You have your direction and plot down now make it substantial. Something that we the reader can really sink ourselves into. Thank you for bring us your story and all the work you have put into but please show us your true skill and bring the story back to life and up to the standard of the rest of it.
You should have just stopped at the end of chapter 6 and taken an indefinite amount of time off instead of forcing the last two chapters. You do yourself and your readers such a huge disservice by your actions. Please seriously consider removing the last two chapters, take a few months off and revisit this story when you can give it the justice (as well as time and effort) it rightfully deserves. You know you're better than the way you concluded this story, so please have a little pride in yourself. As it is, this last chapter isn't even worth rating.