My Name is Raquel Ch. 14

Dear readers, by now, you've learned so much about who Raquel is and the woman she has become. This episode provides a little more history of how she became who she is.

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My name is Raquel and I'm a polyamorous transgender.

Long ago, before I made so many new, crossdressing friends and wonderful friends in the LGBTQ community; before I discovered how much I enjoyed sucking cock and having a hot, hung stud cum inside my manpussy; before I decided to have HRT and breast implants to make me a curvaceous and sexy woman; before I chose to crossdress 24/7, in panties and bras and dresses and high-heels; before my wife, Allison, our friend, Crystal, and my stepdaughter, Jessica taught me how to walk, talk, sit, and make love like a girl, to please a man or a gurl with a penis; before Jessica, caught me spanking my dick into a pair of her panties and introduced me to all the joys of lingerie other than just panties, makeup, and fully crossdressing; even before I surreptitiously wore panties on occasion during my marriage to Allison; in other words, before I became Raquel, I was just a guy, Richard, with a simple panty fetish.

After high school, I went off to college, a virgin. I had already realized that I liked girls' panties. I had been wearing my sister's for a while and wrapping them around my modest 5-inch cock when I jacked off. Often wearing them all day under my male clothes.

Once I pulled the first pair up my legs and felt the electricity as the sensuous material ran over my calves, caressed my thighs, encased my ass and cupped my cock and balls, I was hooked. Who wouldn't be? You and I know that the sensation of silky, satiny, nylon panties rubbing on a hard penis is like nirvana.

I had learned that, in order to prevent the precum, that inevitably began flowing when I wore panties, from creating a big wet spot out front, on the male clothing I wore, I could tuck my little penis between my legs and hold it in place with the gussets of the panties, allowing that small patch of cotton to soak it all up.

Then there was the time in high school, when I was sitting with my girl friends, who, not knowing my secret, treated me like one of their own, a safe non-threatening male presence, a shy little guy, not gay, but definitely not a typical hound dog, teenaged male - the time, while listening to their stories of dicksucking and screwing this guy or that, that I came in my panties and quickly retreated to the boy's bathroom and instinctively ate the evidence, tasting my own cum for the first time.

Through the internet, I learned that I was not alone. Lots of men wore panties. Lots of straight men ate their own cum. Lots of men went way beyond that. But I didn't explore it any further. I was content wearing and masturbating in panties and eating my own cum. Although I still didn't even have a pair of my own, instead, I continued borrowing my sister's, always from the laundry basket, where they would have the smell of her pussy and maybe some of her dried juices.

That source of panties, though, was no longer available when I went off to college. But I did get to reinvent myself. I was still the sensitive, handsome, yet smaller guy, about 5'8" and weighing 130 pounds, but there were so many more girls, that I didn't have to just be someone's friend.

I lost my virginity to a sweet girl, but it wasn't like we fell madly in love. She wasn't looking for a relationship and neither was I, necessarily. But after a couple of dates, where I behaved like a perfect gentleman, we finally ended up in her dorm room and I knew what was going to happen, at least I thought and hoped I did.

Silently, she began undressing. She laid on her back on her bed and beckoned me. Seeing her in her panties, laying there, before she removed them stirred something inside me.

I think she thought, that like other guys, I would would just want to pump and dump. But instead, like a seasoned lesbian, I went down on her. I pressed my mouth firmly in between her legs and I wrapped my lips over her entire vagina. I was drawn to that place, known only to her panties. It tasted so delicious.

She became unbelievably wet, and I could feel her pussy juice coating my lips and cheeks, it was so slippery and thick. It was warm and delicious, but it was the smell and the memory of her pink panties that was making me feel all crazy. I was simply abandoning myself. I started to suck her big firm clitoris, and right then I could feel her whole body respond to the pressure from my lips and tongue. I continued licking and sucking with such loving passion. Then she sat up a little more to watch me. I looked up from between her legs and I could see her big eyes staring back at me intensely.

This went on for a while, and I couldn't believe how excited it made her. I could feel my face getting wetter as I moved my tongue down into her pussy lips and licked as fast as I could. Then I moved my tongue up to her hard clitoris again and I could see she was watching me - her beautiful face was radiant. I could feel how deliciously smooth her skin felt with my wet lips. She told me she had shaved her pubic hair before our date, and the sensation against my mouth felt so slippery and clean.

She watched as my I licked her vagina slower, then faster. Her whole body seemed to respond. The way she was leaning forward, her breasts, high and tight, still in her bra, rose like small mountains above me, and her nipples hardened as she got more excited. Watching her like this was glorious.

She panted, "Is it - okay - that - I get so wet - like this..."

I pulled my mouth away just long enough to say, "Oh God yes, this is delicious." She began whimpering, and it just made me crazy with desire. I heard her start whimpering and whining in a frantic rhythm, and it almost sounded just like she was crying. I stopped licking, briefly and asked, "Are you all right?"

She replied, "Yes, yes. Please. Please - don't stop."

I put my mouth against her, again, and continued sucking on her clitoris, and I just KNEW what was going to happen, she was going to cum, and it was me that was making her feel this way.

She literally started to shudder and then she started to moan - and then I felt her whole body vibrating. I carefully repositioned how I had my mouth over her vagina. I stuck my tongue as deeply into her as I could and drank her secretions. My lips went back to and cupped her plump clitoris, and I sucked the protruding nub the same way a baby would suck on a nipple. And all the while, I was flicking it with my tongue. Oh my God, her clitoris seemed so big in my mouth, it felt firm and slippery.

She responded to this by gasping, "Richard - Oh God - Richard!"

Then it happened, her hips started shivering. She made a desperate little crying noise, and my mouth was suddenly filled with hot liquid.

At first I thought she was peeing, and I pulled my face away and watched as she squirted a beautiful stream all over my neck. I tasted it, it wasn't acrid, like pee. She was squirting female ejaculate. I had heard this could happen, but at the time, didn't know it was quite rare. I pushed my mouth back in, and let the wetness splash all over my lips, cheeks, and chin. It ran down my neck, onto my chest. All the while, she was fervently shivering below me on the bed. Some of the warm liquid ran off my face, and dribbled down onto her belly. I watched as a powerful stream squirted out of her sopping lips as she convulsed in a powerful orgasm.

The spasms subsided and she collapsed like a rag doll on the bed. She was breathing hard, and after a while, she rose up onto her elbows. I looked down at myself, and my chest was soaking. When I looked back up at her, and she was looking down at me.

She stammered, "Oh fuck - Richard - that was - SO amazing."

Afterwards, she pulled me on top of her and slid my dick in her pussy. It went in easily. We laid together, slowly fucking. I wanted to bring her to another orgasm, but I came rather quickly. Don't get me wrong, I enjoyed it, but it was the release, rather than the act that most satisfying.

She must have told her girlfriends everything, because, I had no problem from then on, finding girls who wanted me. It wasn't like there was a different girl every weekend but my word-of-mouth (pardon the pun) reputation slowly spread. I secretly indulged my panty fantasy vicariously through seeing them in their panties, before they removed them and before I performed my cunnilingus magic. But it was always the image of their panties that got me so riled up.

They often wanted me to fuck them afterwards, and I definitely obliged them, but that's not what kept them coming back for more.

Somewhere along the way, I finally acquired a pair of Victoria's Secret black satin hip huggers with delicate white lace around the leg openings and a tiny white bow in the front at the waist from a girl's laundry basket in the dorm laundromat. And I wore them or masturbated with them regularly. It was my only pair, but I got to see a bounty of pretty panties on them.

So one morning, I awoke in the bed of one of these girls, Camilla. She was a short, sultry dark-haired vixen, with a husky voice and large breasts, and we connected in a way that seemed different.

She was soundly sleeping and I was spooning her. She had put on a pair of clean panties to sleep in, after the festivities of the night before, a pair of lacy, pastel blue bikinis. My morning hard-on was pressed against her ass crack. I started rubbing my cock up and down her crack, sliding it along her panties. Oooh, I was in heaven.

She finally stirred. "Mmmm. Good morning." She rolled over and started to push her panties down.

I sensed something with her, a kinkiness, a feeling that I could be my true self with her. I summoned something deep from within and said, "Wait, I want to try something." And I pulled them back up. I then started to rub her pussy through her panties. I crawled between her legs and ran my hands all over her hips and thighs and under her, massaging her ass, loving the feeling of the panties in my hands. She moaned with approval of what I was doing.

I traced the outline of her vulva with my fingers and pushed her panties between her lips. Her juices started to flow, soaking the silky material. I licked and sucked them up through her panties. I pushed them deeper with my tongue.

I ran my fingers below her pussy and continued stroking between her cheeks until I stretched the sheer material and touched her star bud. She squirmed with delight.

I found her clit underneath the silky material and jackhammered it with my tongue. I continued putting light pressure against her sphincter. A tremendous orgasm began to build. I held on to her hips and smushed my face against her pussy.

"Oh yes, oh yes, ooooooh yes!" She shook and jerked.

When she was done, she pulled my face up to hers and kissed me, without hesitation, savoring her own nectar.

My little penis was super hard. I began rubbing it against the front of her panties. She rocked back and forth, as we dry-humped - well, wet-humped - her panties were saturated with her cum. It didn't take long until I came, myself, shooting my load onto her belly. It squished between us. I laid on top of her until we both caught our breath.

I rolled off of her and we laid there with my cum covering her and my stomachs. She slipped her panties off and began gently wiping me down. It felt so good. As she was about to wipe herself down, I put my hand on hers to stop her. She looked at me. I had come this far with her and she hadn't been repulsed. I leaned over and licked my cum off her belly, slurping it out of her bellybutton. I rose back up and went to kiss her. She attacked my lips with her tongue and we shared my load.

She then held her panties up and asked the question with her eyes. I nodded my head and she offered her panties to my lips and I cleaned the cum she had wiped from my stomach off of her panties, as well. I was getting hard again. She noticed.

She wrapped the panties around my cock and jerked me off. It took longer for me to cum this time, having just spent a load, but it felt heavenly. When I did, the load seemed bigger, rather than smaller than the first. This time, she licked all of my cum off the panties and held her tongue out showing me the white, creamy pool. She sat up and we embraced and locked lips again. We snowballed my cum for a long time before we both swallowed.

"Did you like that, Richard? Did my panties feel good to you? Do they turn you on?"

I felt safe saying it out loud. "Yes, yes, and yes."

"Are you a panty boy?"

I feigned ignorance. "A what?"

"You know, do you like to wear panties? Does the thought excite you? Do you like the way they feel? I've heard about boys who like panties, who get a thrill from just seeing them and long to wear them. Are you one of those boys?"

I decided to come clean. "Yes."

"How long have you been wearing panties?"

"For several years, now."

"Do you want to wear my panties?"

"Yes. Oh yes, please!"

"Say it."

"Camilla, can I please wear your panties?"

"Say, pretty please."

"Camilla, I want to wear your panties. I need to wear your panties. May I please wear your pretty blue panties? Pretty please?" She had me begging.

"Okay."

She took the soaking wet panties and slowly slid them up my legs. She was smaller than me and they were tight. But they felt fantastic. It seemed so right.

I couldn't believe it, but I started getting hard again. I started to brush my erection through its sexy nylon encasement.

"Hold on. Not so fast. You can wear these under one, well under a set of conditions. I want you to wear these all week and think of me. Don't wash them and, especially, don't masturbate. I want you to be wearing them Friday night when we go to the Alpha Gamma sorority party. If you follow these instructions, you'll be rewarded, afterwards, I promise."

"I will. I promise."

I did as requested. I wore her panties each and every day that week. Whenever I thought about them and sometimes when I wasn't thinking about them, I walked around with a hard-on. Friday couldn't come fast enough.

When I picked her up on Friday, she made me unzip and show her the panties under my jeans. She was as thrilled to see me in panties as I was to be wearing them. She stuck her hand down the front and rubbed my cock through them until I was on the edge of cumming. Suddenly, she stopped.

"We want to save that for later."

Later ended up being fairly early. She couldn't keep her hands out of my jeans while we were at the party and we left well before most people. She definitely made it worth the wait.

When Camilla and I went our separate ways, she let me keep those pastel blue panties and one other pair that was her favorite to see me in.

"Promise you'll think of me when you wear these."

I promised her, "I will," and I did.

I don't know why, but I was cautious about who I revealed my kink to. Something was just sooo taboo about wearing panties. In my mind, it was even more taboo than eating my own cum, which I began to do often after a blow job or after filling a girl's pussy. This became the norm and the girls loved it. I mean, after all, if you expect them to swallow, but are grossed out by tasting it yourself, it's such a double standard.

The girls to whom I revealed my love for panties always kept this secret, even though they seemed to tell each other everything else I did to or for them. I was sure of this because each time I chose to show a girl this side of me, she was always genuinely surprised. My panty collection was a nice size, by now.

Eventually, I met Allison and fell in love. But something didn't feel right and my panty wearing went back in the closet, figuratively speaking. The closet was not a suitable hiding place if I didn't want her to find out.

As things turned out, I totally misjudged that one. She had her secret that she was afraid to tell me and I had mine, but our love was so strong, our marriage survived years of hiding those secrets and made our relationship strong enough to eventually reveal them.

I don't regret not telling her. We can play the "what if" game, but if you think changing something in you past will have made a difference in the present, you're right. Only, you don't know what other effects it would have had.

I'm happy now. I've always been happy with the life Allison and I have shared. What more can a girl ask for?

My name is Raquel and I'm a polyamorous transgender.