All Comments on 'My Nephew: A Teenager in Heat'

This had a lot of potential, but you rushed it, you didn't have an editor clearly because your grammar and spelling errors are all over the place. I couldn't even get past the 5th paragraph because the spelling and grammar was so badd that it ruined any chance of enjoyment. Check your nouns and verbs. You keep switching he and him with her and she. " he put my head on my breast and..." you mean he put HIS mouth/hands on "my" breast/nipple...

Get a dictionary. Get a proof reader and editor. Slow it down. Build the tease.

How long ty I'll auntie shows a baby bump

I like the seduction very much. If they are to continue as a couple as would seem from your ending then another chapter with some more sexy details and him filling her pussy with cum and knocking her up would be a wonderful conclusion. Perhaps some info on how the family react as well.

You start off by describing how shy he was and his first words about someone showing of their legs were "i fucked her hehehe" ... that aint no one shy at all, from there onwards it was .... boring and unnatural .... no real flow, more like a 15 year olds writing ...

Sorry 1/5

You really needed an editor with the he and she mistakes.

Found it difficult to follow and imagine that your mind was working faster than your writing.

For a shy boy, he came out of himself too fast in the diologue.

She was well paced, but him not.

Maybe dwell on what you've written for longer and you can fill the gaps, huh?