All Comments on 'My New Friend Rob'

by DantheScot

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5 Comments

Anonymousover 18 years ago

I got confused

But maybe it's only me

Jerry Walfell over 18 years ago

Dear confused . . .

No, you're right. The sudden switch from the narrator referring to the cuckold in the third person to addressing him in the second is jarring and confusing. The reader suddenly has to figure out who the fuck the narrator is talking to. Plus, it doesn't make the story any better.

don87654 over 18 years ago

Disgusting!

Very poorly written. Looks like you have a mindset of maybe age 8 or 9?

Anonymousover 18 years ago

What Story?

Just marginally better than sheep shagging in the fog.

Tw0Cr0ws over 8 years ago

stupid

Started in a good POV style then changed from Rob to the reader.

Pretty lazy and sloppy for a story this short.

Write this on the blackboard 10,000 times:

Second person POV is STUPID!