All Comments on 'My New Life Ch. 01 - Prologue'

Looking forward to next chapter to see what he actually does.

Just hope not as many lists, and he gets a little excited about it. He seemed as emotional as me, poor guy.

Needs a little proof reading.

Good characterisation - realistic dialogue - even a touch of self doubt.

Hopefully chapter 2 will be equally intriguing

$45m is peanuts and certainly would be long gone before he satisfied his to do list. If you do your math, to generate enough income to sustainably meet his first two criteria he would need more than the $20odd million the IRS would leave him.

I haven’t actually read this chapter as my best guess is that your tags of ;

“kink - threesome - twins” refers to incest. As it’s a subject that I actively avoid I just wanted to say thanks for the trigger warning it’s hugely appreciated.

Good luck with your writing.

Tess (UK)

I just got started and 6th word (“and” instead of “an”) is incorrect. Then you have an “I problem”; “I did this”, “I went here”, “I mowed the lawn”, “I bought a ticket”..... and so on. Perhaps you need to read some other authors’ works to see how they avoid this issue; maybe get yourself an editor to put some polish on your work. The first chapter still gets a 4* but I’m sincerely hoping for improvement although your first effort is appreciated.

Thank you for your time and effort i love your stories

Just a basic editing/proofreading would help. Snark about having issues about grammar doesn't. Was willing to give it a whirl, but really, a basic error in the first sentence?