All Comments on 'My Power Ch. 01'

So badly.

Seriously, spellcheck and read this out lout to yourself at the VERY least!

Intriguing storyline trumps the short length and the editing problems. Please keep writing this

Sure, it needs to be spell checked. But the ideas, and the story have merit, and should be encouraged. I gave it a 5. Spelling can be corrected. Creativity is rarer.

Intriguing premise for your story ... however it contains many spelling and mechanical errors ... please use the services of an editor and, as suggested in another comment, read your story aloud to yourself before posting ... that way many errors will become obvious to you ... your story line begs for a number of sequels .... good read

get an editor or at least, use a spell-checker.

I will look out for the next chapter

agree.. do keep writing. You have the beginings of something good....but you NEED an editor

The premise DOES show some promise but the lack of editing has ruined what might have been a good read, for me. Unfortunately so many people nowadays have no idea how to spell or what constitutes good grammar, and so much that I read here is absolutely appalling. Reading aloud what you have written DOES help, but so will another set of eyes, or two.

I also hope that future submissions will be longer, but I understand that this was just an introduction to a continuing story-line. And I DID like the names of the mysterious characters: Arthur and Morgan as from Camelot and the days of Merlin the Magician (or was that just a coincidence?). That might explain, somewhat, the origin of his powers.

Anyway, good luck with your future endeavors. I might even read another chapter or so just to see how it's going. One never knows...

Roger.

I like your premise, but you should really proof read before submitting. Keep working on it you'll get better. Think about asking someone to be an editor for you.

My gosh, the efforts really distract.

You have a good premise, the story has possibilities

It could be developed more, too short for it to be a real story yet, but an editor just takes care of details like spelling usually

Find one able to help you develop the story line, character development, shoot holes in your premise and the cohesion of the story and help you grow as well as spell-check

Few are capable, hope you're lucky enough to find someone that can do the job

Are you seeing a trend here with the comments re spelling and editing ?

Your descriptive prose could use some work also "and short blonde hair that hid a mysterious glare to her eyes." How can SHORT blond hair hide her eyes and it would be a mysterious look not a glare.

Anyway, standard stuff, he will have to fuck his mother and sisters to get the "power" to fight the bad guys. Nothing to see here, move along.

I think the story has a lot of promise - but you really need to either proof your own writing more carefully or get someone to help you. The obvious errors seriously distract the reader from the story. Good luck with your future efforts.

George

. . Writing that needs a bit of work/ help. Thanks!

this story has a ton of potential i hope you keep writing on it i look forward to reading on the plot and where it goes

I can see the potential here but you cannot rely on spellchecker to get the proper spelling and grammar. Reread out loud, slowly.

Thank you for your story but please write more of it.

I really enjoyed your first chapter I just hope there is many more trapped in your mind please carry on as it has so much potential.

your story had promise and I liked it, but there were so many spelling issues (than/then, where/were/we're, their/there etc.) that it was confusing and distracting at times.

I suggest you get some proof reading done in future.

Keep going, though :-)