My Secret Addiction Ch. 07

"What?" I said dumbly. I started feeling my anxiety bubble up inside me.

"That you're a cuckold," she said with a gleaming smile, "I love it!"

I felt the blood drain from my face and fill my penis. I tried to stay calm, but I couldn't help but feel embarrassed. This really wasn't just me and my wife's secret anymore.

"Awww, Ji-im, don't be shy about it," I felt her gently rub my shoulder, "I think it's wonderful that you opened up to Leah about your sexuality. There's nothing to be ashamed of, not at all. It's a beautiful thing to share with her."

"I don't know... Sometimes I'm afraid I made a mistake, that she will just leave me for Kivon," I said quietly.

Sarah slapped at my shoulder. "No way, she would be fucking crazy! Just relax and enjoy it, Jim. Sure Kivon is really hot but she loves you. Guys like Kivon come and go but you are the real catch, trust me."

I turned on my side and looked at her, a grin slowly cutting through my face.

"You think I'm a catch, huh?"

"Hell yeah," she looked around and muttered under her breath, "Wouldn't mind being in her place."

"Oh come on," I chuckled. Sarah always had a funny way of cheering me up.

"I had a friend who dated a cuck. She was into black guys too and he loved to watch. They had a great time, like seriously," she said while playing with her ponytail. "Leah is so lucky and she knows it, trust me."

"I hope you're right," I sighed, "but maybe I don't deserve Leah. Maybe I'm a self-sabotaging loser..."

"Jim... Listen, you are the only white guy I'd ever consider being with. I'm kinda jealous of Leah, hehe" she giggled. "Don't ever feel bad about yourself, you are awesome, okay?"

"Thanks, Sarah. You're awesome too." I said, not able to restrain my smile.

Sarah giggled to herself and then raised her sunglasses, her hazel eyes piercing mine.

"Back in college I tried to get Leah to go black with me, but she was too stubborn," she pursed her lips and then smiled again, "I never would have guessed her husband would succeed."

I rolled my eyes and gave her a smirk. "Yeah, yeah. Well it's not like I got caught with my porn on purpose."

"And she finally found a man that knows how to hit her A-spot. Kivon is such a good lover," she purred.

"A-spot?"

"Yup. It's sort of like the G-spot but more intense. It's really deep, like much deeper than the G-spot. It's called A-spot because... Oh what was it called..." Sarah smoothed her hand down her body, ending on the side of her rump while looking around thinking. "The ann... Uhh... Fornix? The anterior fornix area. It's like between the cervix and the bladder or something."

"Oh, all that huh? You know your orgasms," I chuckled. I was trying to hide my feeling of inadequacy behind my smile, I'd never been able to do that for her.

"Mmhmm, It feels really good, but not all girls like it." She lowered her shades and laid back down on her stomach. "She told me she squirted all over the couch, hehe. I wish I could have seen that."

I glanced over to my wife. She looked like she had fallen asleep on the aluminum chaise lounge. Kivon was sitting next to her on his own, leaning back and smoking a joint. Suddenly I heard Sarah's phone buzz over and over and she reluctantly picked it up and swiped at it with her thumb.

"Hey, pizza's here. Do me a favor and go get it right quick?"

"Sure," I said as I pulled myself up.

"I already paid with my card," she said as she settled back down on her towel.

I met the delivery guy at the apartment entrance gate and collected the boxes of piping hot pizzas from him. As I turned to go back inside I was stopped in my tracks by a familiar voice booming into me from behind.

"Ay' yo, Jimbo!" Jerome bellowed, "Gimme a slice."

Jerome casually walked over and lifted the lid to the top box I held and pulled out a slice of pizza, dripping cheese onto the concrete. I backed away from him as he took a big bite, staring me down behind his dark Fendi sunglasses. Instead of his swimming trunks he was dressed in a long white shirt and red Chanel pants. The scorching sun made a glare on the top of his bald head. Behind him Darnell waited in the driver's seat of a white BMW.

"This pizza taste like shit," He spat out his bite and tossed the pizza slice casually into the grass."Yo, tell Kivon to call me later, got some business to discuss."

"Sure, whatever," I said flatly.

Jerome walked closer to me, looking down and twisting his lips into a smirk. His height was intimidating but I wasn't afraid of him. The more I was around him the more I grew annoyed with him instead. I started to turn to leave when he brushed my shoulder with his meaty hand.

"Shit, son. Your wife got some good pussy but it ain't that good." He chortled obnoxiously and clapped his hands together, shaking his head. "What? You pimpin' her for more powder? Pussy ain't worth that much, Kivon gonna get himself in trouble."

"Fuck off, it's none of your business," I said and turned around to walk back inside. I felt the rage boiling up and ready to pop. Pop right in his stupid face. I didn't care how tall or big he was. He grabbed my shoulder and turned me back around, almost causing me to drop the boxes of pizza.

"It's all my business, white boy," He hissed, his face twisted in rage."His boss is my boss, and this kinda shit get a Brotha' and his white boy friend capped."

So they were both drug dealers, it seems so obvious. I kinda figured Jerome was dealing from his antics last night but I felt stupid not realizing Kivon was as well. I suddenly felt like an idiot for letting my wife get mixed up with fucking gangsters. I had put our lives in danger just for my sick kink. I started to feel sick to my stomach, but my irritation at Jerome helped me keep it together.

"Back off!" I yelled pulling away from him, "We're not buying drugs or anything, it's not like that."

Jerome folded his arms and spit on the ground."Not buyin'? Not what I heard. Yo slut wife been buyin' from Kivon for a long ass time, bitch."

"Bullshit."

Jerome laughed and shook his head, then looked over at Darnell."You hear this shit?" He turned back to me and clicked his tongue. "You don't got control of your bitch. Kivon told me she an old customer, a good customer. know what I'm sayin'?"

I ignored him and walked through the gate, kicking it closed behind me.

"I see you around, pimp!" he called out behind me laughing maniacally, "Maybe if you lucky I get my boys and we run a train on that ho!"

I flipped him the bird as I marched back toward the apartment building, resisting the urge to throw the pizza at his face.

Throughout the rest of the evening I was silent and brooding. How much had my wife lied to me, had she actually cheated on me with Kivon? She had bought drugs from him at her old job, and never mentioned it to me. Was my wife snorting coke and cheating on me from the start? From her confession of being a slut in college, too confiding in Sarah to this, I couldn't take it any longer. I felt like I was going to have a panic attack as I started pacing around Sarah's kitchen before I marched over to Leah and grabbed her by the wrist.

"Fuck this shit!"

"Sweetie, are you okay?" She seemed baffled by my sudden outburst. "What's wrong?"

Sarah and Kivon were silent and remained seated. Kivon had glanced up at me solemnly then looked away, shifting his jaw to the side. I pulled my wife into a small guest room and paced around a few more times.

"What the fuck, Leah!"

Leah grabbed hold of my shirt and pulled at it, trying to get me to sit with her on the bed.

"Jim, what? What is it?"

I stood in front of her and folded my arms. I felt every emotion steaming up inside me but I had to get it under control. I didn't want to blow up and make a fool of myself, she would just use that against me.

"So... When you were secretly buying coke from Kivon, how many times did you cheat on me with him?" I said flatly.

Leah's whole body reflexed like she was slapped, her eyebrows raised to her hairline in shock.

"What..." Her face slowly transformed into a scowl. "What the fuck, Jim. I never cheated on you. How could you think that?"

"Well? I just found out you've been buying from Kivon, the fucking drug dealer, all this time. No wonder you still had his number." I threw my hands up and turned around from her, I was too angry to look at her. "So how long has it been going on, was this all your plan?"

"Jim, no-no-no. Jim, look at me!" I felt her grabbing at my shirt but I pulled away. "I never slept with him, I swear! You can ask him! Jesus Christ, Jim just let me explain."

She flew in front of me and hugged me. Her face was pressed to my chest, her eyes looking up at me. I could see they were getting wet with incoming tears. I didn't hug her back, I just stood there, watching her with a stony expression on my face.

"I bought weed from him, not coke..." she pulled her head away from my chest and sniffled. "And I never slept with him, he was just an old co-worker like I said. Everything I told you was true."

"Except the fact he's your drug dealer," I hissed.

"Baby, I just bought weed from him for me and Sarah at the time. It was nothing. Who told you I cheated on you with him? You were there the first time we had sex. I swear on my grandfather's life."

I felt myself start to calm down. What she said did make sense, especially with the swear at the end. She was very close with her grandfather, it was kind of a big deal if she'd say something like that.

"Jerome, he practically threatened me with it today."

"Fuck Jerome, he's an asshole. I regret letting him fuck me, I only did it for you." Her bottom lip was trembling, and her cheeks were wet with tears.

I finally hugged her back, causing her to rest her face back onto my chest.

"I don't want you anywhere near Jerome again, or Kivon. We can't let that shit into our lives, it's dangerous."

"Sweetie..." she sniffled, "I think you should talk to him. He's quitting, he hates doing it."

"Didn't look like it to me..." I muttered.

"Just talk to him, talk to him for me, okay? I really like Kivon, he's really sweet and treats me good. He's perfect..."

"So perfect you couldn't tell me the truth about him?"

Leah pulled away again and wiped her eyes. "Honestly I thought you knew. I'm sorry, Jim. I really am. I didn't think it was that big of a deal..."

I hesitated for a long moment, biting the inside of my cheek. Was I overreacting? Maybe I was under-reacting.

"I'll talk to him," I said quietly.

My wife's face lifted into a hopeful smile and she hugged me again.

I found Kivon casually smoking on the balcony. I leaned on the rail and surveyed the view.

"Leah said I should talk to you so here we are." I said to him, folding my arms, "I don't want my wife getting mixed up in dangerous shit. Drug dealing, hard drugs... That Jerome bastard... Fuck that. I didn't sign up for that, and I'm not going to let my wife either."

Kivon nodded his head and looked up at me, blowing smoke from his nose. "I feel you, I feel you, man." He moved closer to me and leaned his back on the rail. "I really like Leah and this whole uh, set up we got going. She's really special. You a lucky man and I don't blame you for being protective, it's a dangerous world out there..." He put out his smoke and flicked it over the ledge and then looked over at me.

"I respect that, I respect you, Jim. We comin' from different worlds but I appreciate you sharing her with me. I don't care why you do, not judgin'. We all got or things... For what it's worth, I quit dealing. It was never what I wanted to do, it was just a means to an end. I tried to get out for a long time... Too long, too long... But I can finally do my brother proud."

"Your brother?"

Kivon cleared his throat and looked up as if he was seeing something I couldn't see. "My brother Antwan, he was my best friend. We survived together, it was just me and him, man. Us versus the world. Our father ran out on us before I was even born, and money was tight for my mom." He looked back over at me and braced his hands on the rail behind him. "We used to love this club down on Juniper, Avenue 23. We planned to buy it and renovate it, man. We had big plans, but then well..."

"What happened?"

"He was at the wrong place, wrong time. Shot dead by some bitch ass thug who thought he was someone else." He let out a drawn out sigh and hung his head down. "I swore to him I'd own that club someday, and now I am."

"Sorry about your brother, man..." I didn't know what else to say. "So you bought the club?"

His solemn face lifted into a smile. "Sure did. Gonna change the name to Antwan's."

We were silent for a few moments, only a gust of wind blowing on a neighbors wind chimes could be heard. I let out a sigh and paced to the other side of the balcony.

"You really quit? I ran into Jerome today, he was talking all kinds of shit, said he wanted you to call him..."

Kivon muttered under his breath some incoherent curses. "Fuckin' Jerome, man. He act like he's the boss of everyone but he ain't shit. It don't matter, the people that matter know I'm out. I'm out for good this time."

"Well... That's good to hear then. Good for you, Kivon. I hope things work out for you and the club thing." I started to feel slightly bad that I had put this man in a box of preconceived notions. He was just another human being trying to make it, he didn't even come across as some thug to me, drug dealer or not. He wasn't a bad guy, but I didn't want to willingly bring that sort of shit into my life.

I got flashes of my wife snorting coke on Jerome's mirror and cringed. On the other hand I saw how happy he made her and how his involvement with her was making all my fantasies come true. To say I was conflicted would be an understatement.

Kivon nodded and walked up to me, his hand reaching out to mine. I shook it with a strong grip.

"I won't see your wife no more if that's what you want, Jim. I just want you to know I'd never put her in harm's way, not ever."

"Then what's up with the fucking cocaine then?" I said, letting go of his hand.

"I know, I don't partake but she and Sarah seemed into it so it wasn't really my place to tell her what to do..." He scratched at his hair and cringed, "' lota girls do that shit these days, it's kinda a runnin' joke ya know? If you want a girlfriend, just bring some coke..."

I couldn't help but chuckle and shake my head at what he said. He laughed too and folded his arms.

"Yeah, man, well I don't want any more of that shit around me. Just a little weed to take the edge off, you know?" Kivon sighed and his tone became somber. "Anyway... I really enjoyed what we had goin'. Havin' Leah with the no strings attached was dope but if you want it to end I understand."

I studied his face for a moment, his eyelids drooped with sadness, his eyes losing focus. A logical, normal choice would have ended it all right there, but of course I'm anything but normal.

Give in.

I slapped his thick shoulder and gave a tight smile. "Uh, well, I'm sure we can work it out as long as there's no more drug dealing going on... Or Jerome's... No bullshit."

Kivon smiled into a white, toothy grin and chuckled, relief flooding his expression. "Definitely, my man, no bullshit!"

We chilled together in Sarah's living room and watched a movie. The only light was what emanated from her large flat television screen mounted on the wall. Leah had cuddled up next to me this time, resting her pretty head on my shoulder. It felt really nice to be this close to her again after watching her hang on Kivon for so long. Every once in a while she would gently kiss my shoulder or squeeze my arm, snuggling into me more making my heart swell for her. As the movie was winding down towards its conclusion Leah whispered softly into my ear.

"I want to show you the present I got you." She smoothed her delicate fingers up my thigh ending at my crotch. "C'mon."

Leah took my hand and lead me to Sarah's bedroom. Her room was large but unkempt with random clothing strewn about. My wife patted the bed for me to sit so I did. My curiosity was burning inside me, what the hell had she gotten me, and why the big production? Leah fished around in a nearby shopping bag until she produced a small black box.

"I think you're going to really love this," she said with a devilish grin, "I know I am."

She giggled and then plopped herself down on the bed next to me. After a short pause she placed it in my waiting hands and then leaned back with an excited expression on her face.

"Go on, open it!" she said while staring at it.

"Sure okay, what is it?" I asked with a grin.

I carefully removed the tape and lifted the top revealing the strange plastic contraption inside. Before I asked what it was again my brain clicked into recognition. It was the same thing I had seen in a lot of cuckold porn.

"A chastity cage," I said softly.

"Mmhmm!" she leaned into me and pecked me on the cheek. "Wanna put it on, sweetie?"

I was shocked that she actually bought one, I had thought she was just talking dirty before but here we are. I had fantasized about wearing one for her before but I wasn't quite sure I could do it for real. I suddenly started feeling nervous, hesitant, a little scared, but most of all extremely aroused. I turned the penis shaped plastic in my fingers examining it. It was see-through, with small grooved holes along the side and a larger hole at the tip for urinating I assumed.

"Look, it came with a set of cute little keys," Leah said as she dangled them in her hand, "I can keep you chaste for as long as I desire, hehe."

"Jeez... I dunno, babe. I mean, I can't put that thing on. Don't these things hurt? There's no way..." I stammered, still turning the plastic shaft in my hand.

"Sweetie..." Leah moved her hand to my crotch and lightly squeezed my rock hard erection. "You want this, don't you? It's okay, I want it too."

My cock twitched at her touch, her words rang truer than I wanted to admit. I felt a yearning within me to put it on for her, to be cucked by her, to submit. She turned my face to hers and kissed me deep and passionately, swirling her tongue with mine. It was the kind of kiss I didn't ever want to end. She finally broke our kiss with a wet smack and stood up in front of me.

"Pull your shorts down," she said as she picked the plastic rings and sheath, examining them. "Let's just do a trial run, 'kay? Just for tonight. How does that sound?"

"Okay," I whispered.

I reluctantly pulled down my shorts causing my erection to bounce free in the cool air. Leah knelt onto her knees and took hold of my penis in one and, the plastic cage in the other. Her face wrinkled in thought as she studied her task. She looked up at me and paused for a moment before another grin cut through her face.

"Wait right here, sweetie."

She quickly stood up, tossed the plastic parts onto the bed and marched out of the room, leaving me sitting on the edge of the bed with my shorts down, erection up. I was worried the others could walk in at any moment seeing me like this. What the hell was she doing?

Suffer.

I ran my hand through my hair and blinked the creeping anxiety out of my eyes. I was so nervous and turned on at the same time that I could feel myself lightly trembling. I took a deep breath and laid on my back. Could I really do this? Could I really handle being caged? What if I grew to love it? What if this was exactly what I wanted all along? I imagined my beautiful wife and her sexy best friend standing together in some sex shop, trying to decide which cock cage to lock me in. I gripped my dick and started to slowly jerk off, I was too turned on to resist.