by WantonSalon
In the morning, hope the big sister casually bends or sits carelessly in the sofa displaying her parted pussy lips to her little brother. Then as always she likes to hug him, then his cock accidentally slipped inside her pussy. As he got mortified of what had happened she just said to her brother that it is alright and he doesn't have to worry about it.
Started out good but quickly deteriorated. I don't think that anyone is very impressed with your vocabulary (except for you). Makes me want to go out and buy a new Roget's Thesaurus.....NOT.
The incest was only alluded to and not very skillfully. I think you have potential as a writer but you need a good editorial advisor. I gave you 2 stars but I expect to give you 4-5 on your future endeavors. Just please stop the ridiculously exaggerated precum stuff.
Why the hell is his "sister" addressing him like she was his mother? I think you took some mom incest fiction and shoehorned in "sister" to fit your fantasy without proofreading or editing.
What the hell was this? A sister who mothers and the plot is jacking off? What is even appealing about that?
I'm as verbose as the next guy, but misusing words like fulgent or needlessly throwing quotidian around when the word you wanted was nonchalant betrays the fact that you are using a thesaurus feature heavily. Even if a thesaurus calls something a synonym, the words aren't necessarily interchangeable.
I mean, the story's okay and kinda hot, but the vocabulary makes it really weird to read. The simpler it's written, the more engaging it becomes. Big words only serve to flatter your own ego.
And this story just had too many sweeties for me. Other than that I liked it
Your writing is so captivating..only a hater or possibly jealous folks could find fault in such stories. Your words clearly show your intelligence and as knowing you I can tell people that you are genuine. Keep putting out the great stories...I LOVE how this story made me feel...
it was to short to call a story more like a very short story. Try to make your stories at least 2 pages here.. not on word.
It's a good start to what could be a great series if you put details in and keep the chapters nice and long.
Didn't mean to do it, but your story got my little clit engorged and I started squirming in my study hall chair. Just as Stepanie slid her hip along her brother's drooling prong ang gouts of semen erupted on her, my orgasm hit hard. When I openned my eyes, the study hall teacher was staring at me, open mouthed and flushed. I could only smile and look down into my iPad. Oh my. Thanks.
One of the beat I have ever read! Your use of vocabulary is sublime and inspiring. I love how the entire story is focused on being open and ok with one another.