All Comments on 'My Slutty Step-sister Ch. 01'

I don't get this pulling out shit though, especially these days od birth control, Plan B, Plan C, IUD's, Diaphragms and last of all those nasty love gloves. Only place a dick should come during sex is inside a pussy. Enjoyed the build up though. A nice sexy start to a hot story.

Great story - can't wait for the next chapter

You should've made them real siblings instead of step siblings.

Please continue. Enjoyed the good read. Thanks

The same story was posted in 2009 as Pip81. If you're going to repost old stories, it's customary to say so. Otherwise, you leave yourself open to plagiarism accusations. The fact the IDs are so similar and the old one doesn't exist are good indications you are the same person.

It's a good start to a story, though it's also just missing. Some of the formatting is glaring especially with quotes and so forth, but what really gets me is that it seems the character of Jenna is really forced to be a caricature. She's really emotional about how she treated her brother - almost to the point of crying but almost immediately dives into telling him stories about orgies despite the fact that she's not really close to him anymore? If she was that worried about how he sees her, I doubt she'd want him to potentially see her in that light - at least right away. Sure, she's a "slut," but it seemed forced to me. It's still a good start and exciting to read.

Looking forward to more.

I truly enjoyed this read and hope the story continues!

I like the premise of your story, but I recommend using a proofreader before you post. There were a lot of mistakes that could have been easily rectified. I write this in hope that it will aid your future output.

You might find this next comment odd, but I assure you it is true. Reading a story on a computer/illuminated screen is different to reading a book. Paragraphs need to be much shorter (4/5 lines) to stop the reader skipping parts. It will also help with the pace of your story.

Lastly, read some of your dialogue out loud to see if you think it is believable. Some of Jenna's dialogue was totally unrealistic.

I hope this helps and feel free to comment on my work.

Can’t wait for the next chapter

That was simple amazing. It was a bit quick to the sex but so hot.

Great story idea. Some of the dialogue was simple but still all in all a sexy read.

To me she's still a controlling little cunt bitch.

I wish

Don’t bother. Unfinished, won’t be finished, series.