All Comments on 'My Sweet Jenny'

The backstory with the ex-wife was bullshit and her so called fate as well, given how suddenly it just came as a sidenote at the end of the story. Either should've left it alone, or expand it so it actually makes sense.

This is the kind of story I like. A happy ending and the bad guys and girls get what they deserve. Thank you.

The rushed ending, complete with the oh so tired and overused 'STD killed the asshole' ending, pretty much destroyed all the good will engendered by what came before.

Excellent. Well written. True Love...

Thanks everyone for your comments. This is my first attempt at writing, so any constructive criticism is greatly appreciated

Put more effort into editing than writing. It takes several reads to catch only most of the errors. There were enough glaring mistakes that one read would have caught enough to make the reading bearable.

So much filler was included that it became an actual chore to keep reading, and nearly all of it was just that: filler. If it isn't moving the plot along, then don't put it in. It's boring.

Avoid "upon" and "do so" at all costs. Just don't type them.

Work on your dialogue to make it sound natural. There was a time that people wanted their fantasies to talk like they're giving a public speech, but these days even public speakers don't speak like that in their speeches.

The epilogue really was a story killer. The characters had forgotten about those two, so why did the writer think it was a good idea to remind the readers?

I loved the story, it started slowly, giving a good understanding of where the two lovers were coming from. The sexual incounters were very good, not too rushed, and lovingly described. The outcome of the exs was not really required, but to those who like to see justice in this world, very acceptable. I hope you write more.

Yo this was so badly thought out I couldn't even read it, who the fuck thinks a judge will award everything to the CHEATER in the relationship? Nah, fuck this and fuck your thought process.

Liked most of it despite the mawkish ending.

Absolutely wonderful story of sibling love and well done for your first story. Please keep writing stories like this one and you will have a massive audience.

Great first story. Enjoyed the happy ending. Didn't care about Rhonda and Ryan at the end.

Great story! Hot

Great story! A story of true love that ends with two siblings mating. It would have been cool if there was something about the sex during pregnancy, too! But I enjoyed this! And the fate of the exes was very befitting!

Good read, it's to nice read about love drawing them together. Neither were cheating on spouse's and were truly in love with each other.

Write about what you know. You alienate women readers right off the bat with the "she took him for everything" plot. His inheritance was not a matrimonial asset and couldn't be taken in a divorce, so know what you are writing about. Then we are to believe the siblings are in love but they haven't talked in years and there is no back story to suggest some sort of smouldering passion. And no one goes to jail, ever, for punching someone once. You can write about sex and have things be realistic. So leave your bitterness towards your ex out of your stories, and don't add external details about things you don't know and you will be on the right track.

Great story, although the ending seemed a little rushed. All in all, I lived it! Keep it up!!

A really nice story with the right amount of love and sex put across well. This is how life should be for two people so in love.