All Comments on 'My Wife and the Japanese Sex Club'

Good story, even if somewhat predictable. Keep writing.

Since this is my first story, I would really love to get some feedback on how you like it. What parts did you particularly like or not like? Do you have any questions about this story?

Curtison, you asked for comments.

I thought it was well written for what it was. The use of language was quite good; grammar, spelling etc was just fine.

But It didn't come across to me as a story. It was a description of a situation and people in that situation rather than a story plot with developed characters.. There was hardly any dialogue and little expressed emotion.

My feeling was that the style of writing has to loosen up a lot to become engaging to the reader. There's an interesting story there, but the writing style didn't let the interest shine through.

Lue

The main problem with this is there is about one line of dialogue and no emotions. It's not a story but a rambling narrative that is repetitive, jumbled and with quite a few mixed up tenses. It's only "telling" and zero "showing."

I'll give one example:

- She asked I wonder if they knew it was me.- Is she happy? Scared? Nervous? Excited?

Could be something like, "Oh, god!" she said, both fear and excitement sparkling in her eyes. "Do you think they knew it was me?"

Contrary to some of the other commenters, I thought it was well written and the story was retold well. I wold have liked to have known what was going through her mind leading up to and while she was being fingered, but that's just me, I like knowing what the women are thinking when there bodies are being used for sex, even if they are all for it. Please keep on writing. Does a club like this really exist in Okinawa?

It was a real club in Naha City, Okinawa in the 90's. I don't think it still exists today though. Look it up. I club looked similar to the last 2 links here.

1. https://www.stripes.com/news/police-club-employed-sex-slaves-1.21115

or

2. https://pt.xhamster.com/videos/japanese-underground-sex-show-335358

or

3. https://pt.xhamster.com/videos/japanese-sex-show-2-3707737

After extensive searching, I have finally found a video that was filmed at a Japanese sex club which is very similar to the one that Ava performed at. The club in this video is larger than the Naha City Music club in Okinawa was and they have more than 1 guy from the audience on stage at a time and there are a lot more strippers at this one as well. This video validates that this kind of live sex show did exist in Japan in the 90s and also what Ava did and how the audience watched Ava get screwed on stage by members of the audience. I tried to describe in my story that you could actually see the guy's dick go in and out of Ava in the missionary position just like in this video at minute 7:15. It was the same with Ava. I have not been able to find a video that actually shows the dancers getting fingered by the audience around the stage yet. Check out the video.

https://xhamster.com/videos/a-show-to-remember-8206621

Please comment and tell me what you think about this show and what Ava did for me and everyone else in the club.

How on earth could you allow that to happen to your wife?!?! Only a complete asshole, a total loser, would even contemplate doing something like that - and blabbing so that his wife is assaulted and abused by an entire military base! She should have just taken your service weapon and blown your brains out.

This isn't erotica; this is psychopathic perversion that caused physical injury by others to your own wife - as you sat there and watched and masturbated your puny little dinky.

The husband was an absolute idiot! Encouraging his beautiful wife to strip at a club is bad enough but letting her get finger-fucked by 75 men and then fucking 2 guys on stage in front of a number of guys who knew her and would see her at the store or gym regularly?Ass-wad the hubby is now dumb CUCK of the year! It would serve him right if Ava decided to become a regular at the club and decide it must be OK now to fuck guys at the gym too. This is a HOT story but the dopey husband takes the edge off its sexiness. - 3

I thought it was very sexy and wish it would have happened to my wife.

You've got my 8" cock rock hard and stretching my sexy pink panties. I've licked my girlfriend while she was getting well and truly fucked by 17 guys at a party once. And I took a girlfriend to Amsterdam for a filthy weekend and she got fucked on stage at a club.

Wild story. Wish my wife would try it.

crazy and erotic. Nice work, Thank you.

No idea if the writer is still active on Lit, For me the "what" was hot, even if the "why" of the woman was not clear to me - while the husband was asking her to do it as a favor to him it didn't seem to be a very big challenge to let a few strangers, choosen by the luck of dices fuck her. I wonder how the story would enroll if written from her perspective. Anyway, I might have a new fantasy on my mind now!