All Comments on 'My Wife Takes on 7 Guys'

Good story for a beginner.

You HAVE been to a club and you're relating your experience. (This is obvious as you describe the BYOB style bar and rooms.)

I see you've written four stories a few years ago. But your writing style has a lot to be desired. Your descriptions are too much "I SAW THIS!" and "I DID THAT!" etc.

First person stories don't need to be so technical, and unreal as to what's going on in the room. It's almost as if you're on speed drugs and hyperventilating.

Take your time ... slow down ... Write what you think, then ask for an editor or beta-readers to give some feedback. Then reconsider and re-write the story into a much better scene.

But, overall, it's a good concept and story, but in need of better descriptive writing.

Hot story but you need an editor or at least proofread it before publishing.

Damn I have to proofread it :-p

Fucking a cum used pussy has to feel great I would of bust my nut very fast knowing my dick is penetrating a woman's hole full of other men's sloppy jizz

My wife will fuck anybody she had 30 guys cum inside her she doesn't care about std as long has numerous cocks fucking her pumping their sperm into her even told me that she double triple vag fucking feel 3 cocks cum in her cunt now she only let black guys fuck her won't even do it with white guy plus she does let black guy knock her now have 7 black kids