My Wife wants to Date Other Men

I thought for sure the judge was going to ask Debbie to marry him he was so enamored with her speech! This wasn't good at all. I looked pleadingly at my attorney for him to do something when I heard the judge addressing me.

"Mr. Johnson? Mr. Johnson, are you paying attention? I asked you what you thought about what your wife said? She has made some very compelling arguments. Surely your 50 year relationship is worth trying to salvage?"

"Oh shit!" I said to myself. "This can't be happening to me!" My wife could hardly contain her glee. My attorney was doodling something on his notepad. It looked like he was drawing a big Phillips head screw! "I am so fucked!"

But then I had an epiphany. I was in combat again and the first shot had been fired! I responded, "Your honor may I have a moment to absorb what my wife has said? She really has given me pause to think this through. I would like to talk with my attorney for a moment."

The judge responded quite good naturedly, "Of course, I think that is wise."

Everyone in the court room thought they were witnessing a real Hallmark moment. I quickly turned to my attorney who by now had finished his Phillips head screw, "What happens if I withdraw my divorce petition right now? Can he still order counseling?"

My Clarence Darrow like lawyer turned and stated, "No he can't. The court no longer has any jurisdiction in the matter."

"One more question Clarence"

"Who?"

"That's not important right now. What happens if I just disappear? My wife would have to serve me in order to get a divorce, right?"

"Yes, but it isn't really that simple, she could have a divorce granted for abandonment after one year." He replied.

"Only if my luck changes." I said wistfully and with a heavy sigh. "There isn't a law that says I have to live with my wife is there?" My mind was really racing now!

"No there isn't." he said in a lawyerly fashion. Then the light bulb went on in his head and he asked, "Will I still get paid?"

"Of course, Clarence, of course."

I smiled broadly and straightened my tie, brushed my hands to smooth my slacks and stood up to address the court. Everyone wanted the Hallmark Movie ending, so I was going to give it to them, sort of.

"Your honor, in light of what my wife has expressed in a most convincing manner, I hereby withdraw my Petition for Dissolution of Marriage immediately!"

It was bedlam in the courtroom! Not really, there were only about twelve people in there and it was lunch time so those not involved got up to head to the cafeteria. The judge banged his gavel granting my request with a big smile and tears in his eyes. My wife and her attorney were both crying happy tears themselves. I was steaming mad but had plastered what I hoped was a happy face on and walked directly out of the court room. I reached my car with my wife hot on my heels blabbering something about us being happy, blah, blah, blah. I started the car and left her standing in the parking lot wondering what just happened.

As I pulled out of the parking lot I threw my phone into the bushes and drove straight to work where I immediately went to HR and retired. I realized that I could draw on my 401k because I was 59 1/2 years old. I couldn't get Social Security for a few more years. But with my 401 with our other assets I knew I could make this work.

From work I went to our bank. I did all those things people do when they get divorced right away. Our house was paid for and worth almost a million dollars. Every thing else we had was about equal to that value so I was going to take it all and put it into my name only and quitclaim the house to Debbie.

My family didn't know where I lived and had only been reaching me through work or my phone, so I had time to finish what I was going to do unimpeded.

Two weeks later, after having set up this meeting with Debbie, I pulled up to our house, technically my wife's house now I guess, in my brand new 38' Georgetown Class A motor home. My new Jeep Wrangler 4x4 was hooked to the tow bar behind it and ready to go. I knocked on the door and I heard Debbie approaching the door from inside. All three of our daughters were there too because I had given them a heads up to be there. I knew there would be trouble and needed them to watch out for Debbie.

"Honey you are home! Thank god, we were so worried about you!" The girls were already staring at the motor home and were sharp enough to suspect what was up.

"Sweetheart, I actually stopped by to say goodbye."

"What do you mean goodbye? We are going to be together for ever, aren't we?"

"We've always been together dear. It's just that I am going away for a while."

"But Tim, what about work?"

"I retired Deb and I am going to spend some time traveling the country."

"But honey, I can't get away from the school district on such short notice, school is in session! I know traveling the country in a motor home is our dream, but I am simply not able to do that right now!"

She still didn't get it. My daughters got it though, and they were stunned. They were already burning holes in me with their eyes because they knew I was going to leave them to deal with my basket case of a wife and they were not happy!

"We should go inside and talk Debbie. There is a lot I want to say to you. And, I will give you a chance to talk also."

We all filed into the kitchen and sat around the table. It made me choke up thinking about all the family meetings we had held at this table. The thought that this would be the last one was almost too much for me to bear. But, I had spent the last couple of weeks thinking about my circumstance quite a bit. I had no anger left in me. I was no longer nervous, fearful, or wracked with uncertainty. I was more at peace than I had been in years. So I began the meeting.

"First off, I want to apologize to you Debbie, and to you girls also, for the way I behaved when you first informed me of your plans to sleep with other men. I know I acted childishly at the hospital." I put my hand up before Debbie could get a word out. "Please, let me finish. I know you didn't give me my heart attack. In a perverse sort of circumstance, you might actually have saved my life! The heart attack was going to happen sometime anyway and because you were right there and called for help immediately, I am alive and here today. The medical people have assured me of that. So thank you!" That really threw her for a loop!

"I've done a lot of thinking since our court hearing and I realized something Debbie. Neither you nor I, have ever been on our own. We have been together since elementary school. I think I understand now what your feelings were when you told me what you were going to do. I was focused on the sexual part of your desire when I think you were really saying that you wanted to be alone. You wanted to stand up and take control of your life. Then I realized that I was in the same position as you. Our whole lives, all our plans were done together, and now I want to experience life alone too. I believe that we both need to be apart so we can find out who we are as individuals." At this point I let her speak because there would have been no stopping her anyhow!

"But I don't want to be alone! I am never going to give you a divorce! We will be together for the rest of our lives! I messed up so bad when I said those things to you." How she managed to say those things through her tears and sniffles I don't know. She looked like she was going to start hyperventilating. The girls, though teary eyed had stayed remarkably calm and quiet throughout.

"Deb, I accept that you will never give me a divorce. And I no longer want a divorce. It is irrelevant to me. But we are not going to live together any longer. I need to find out who I am outside of us." I slid the Quit Claim deed across the table to her. "I am giving you the house and have taken most of our other assets and it pretty much comes out a 50-50 split." The girls were openly crying now because they understood.

"Tim, sweetheart, don't do this, I can make it up to you. I know you can forgive me given time. I haven't been with anyone in months. My therapist made me realize how foolish I have been. Please don't do this! You said you were coming back!"

"I already have forgiven you Deb. I might be back some day. I release you from our wedding vows. I want you to experience everything in life you desire without any guilt. I just can't be here while you do."

"But how will I reach you if I need to talk with you? You can't abandon me like this. It isn't fair!" She had her head in her arms on the table sobbing hysterically, unable to speak further.

I turned to my daughters, "ladies I am sorry it has to be this way. I will love you always and please take care of your mother for me. If you need to reach me you can email me. I don't have a phone or a mailing address as I don't plan on being in any one place very long." They were all hysterical now as I got up and walked out the door.

I got into my motorhome and drove away without looking back and headed off for my new life. Alone.