All Comments on 'My Wife's Date Night'

3/5...

Dude, you seriously need to contact one of the volunteer editors. I couldn't get past the first couple paragraphs

Behavior like this continued long enough will come back to haunt her. Eventually she will titillate the wrong guy. A guy who declines to accept her having some "playful fun". When her husband finds himself having to protect his wife from a drunk who doesn't get it or stop her leaving with her new alpha male...that's when it gets real. I know a guy who had a minor bump up with someone at a club. No big deal, crowded, got something splashed on him he made a comment. Then he spent the rest of that night in emergency surgery and the next few days in a hospital after being knifed by the drunk. And a woman was not even involved. When are involved, that's when the truly stupid stuff starts happening.

You are in need of an editor. Many misspellings.

Would score well in exhibition voyeur category. I also agree her being alone doing that is very risky. Maybe less so in an upscale place but still a risk.

This was a nice, short little story to bring a smile to most of the readers. However it could have been much better had you taken the time to correct all the grammatical errors. Sadly a good story can loose a lot when there are silly mistakes.

And seriously, WTF is up with the idiot who commented about her behavior coming back to haunt her?! Dude, its a fictional story site. Just go with it. You don't need to over analyze made up stories.

I don't have to say anything, I'm sure plenty will be said here by other commenters about how bad this was.

Really need to use grammar/spell check.

First and last story I hope.

Terribly written. Better luck next time.

I hear the bell ringing. You will be late for your next class.

You live in a fucked up world if this is the best image your imagination can produce. You had one chance to introduce yourself and you fucked it up. This will score poorly and you'll be the next one tossed on the heap of writers to ignore. I must agree with the others, get an editor, or in your case, five or six.

"I should meet her at the bar. I couldn't figure out why she wanted to meet across the city." - Why is "the bar" across the city? Is there only one bar in the city? You should give the name of the bar.

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"The hemline rode high on her hip." - High on the THIGH. If it's high on the hip it's MUCH more (or should I say less!) than a miniskirt!

Okay, Can someone find a story hidden in that set of lines.

A couple possibilities. She’s end up getting raped pulling this shit on the night he has car trouble, or she’ll do what she clearly really wants, fool around and get validated by other men, destroying whatever might be left of this bizarre, messed up marriage. Hubby seems clueless enough to not see the problem on the horizon, an older woman, needing other men besides him to reinforce her self-image, teetering on the edge of betraying her wedding vows and him.

Why post this in LW?

Story was ok, but impossible to read due to hundreds of errors. You even managed to swap genders at one point. No excuse for this level of mistakes when Word or Google Docs combined with Grammarly would have got 95%.

Fun! I look forward to you submitting more.

Thank you!

*2. Would have made a *3 but for the misspellings and lack of a proofread!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Seriously, when a he should be a her, Out vs our, fing vs find, Incomplete sentences & misuse of commas. But for a 1st story, it ain't bad!

Man, you’re not quite ready to post a story on LW yet. Try the fringe genres first before you try prime time.

I agree with the poster who said this could have been fun, but that all the errors rendered it too distracting to enjoy.

While it didnt turn out quite as good as you hoped, its was a quick somewhat fun read.

I am pretty sure Sweetie was called ‘he’ more than once! Not sure the error-count was more than 50, but this submission was massively careless! It takes a ton of arrogance (or a bushel of ignorance) to believe that a First Draft should be submitted! I don’t do that for my COMMENTS! And I still find I could have been clearer on my earlier comments, and sometimes that I even submitted a mispeling (sic!)

2* Also agree that the moral of this tale is opaque … or there is sequel coming.

it was weak just a tease not very good at that

Not really sure where to start my friend, but I think you should stick to reading the stories and maybe not the writing! This is all over the place, and not particularly titillating if I am honest.

@mortenera93… you criticize this author’s attempt at writing, but you haven’t written a damn thing other than stupid comments. I’d say the author wins.

Nice fun short story. Keep it up