Myth and Deception: April Fools

"Elena, don't be a bitch" Tim retorted with indignation. "You are always reacting. React. React. React. Just L I S T E N for once - then maybe something will sink in."

"Oh you're fucked up again aren't you" Elena exchanged.

"Well maybe" Tim said with a smile "But this idea was hatched when I was completely sober - I just needed some courage to talk about it".

"You need more than courage for this plan. It's crazy" Elana almost shouted.

But the exchange had the benefit of getting others in the group to notice. And now Tim had his audience.

"Ok, so castration seems like, really extreme." He started despite Elena's dismissal. "But I've been thinking a lot about - well - harnessing my personal energy. I only have this one life. I really feel I can accomplish a helluva lot of shit if I put my mind to it. But I don't always put my mind to the most constructive activities." And with that he shot knowing glances to half the boys in the room and one or two of the girls.

"Come on, you have to admit that I can get really obsessed with sex. I always talk about it. I watch it online. I watch it a lot! I read story after story on kindle" he paused.

"And then I actually do it!" he started up again. "And not only do I do it but I do with flair." And he emphasized this with a rather vulgar hand gesture that somehow ended in jazz hands. "And of course doing it leads to having relationships. Which leads to dinners and movies. And suddenly I'm not doing it anymore - but I'm still thinking of it all the time - and I'm also doing - well relationship stuff. And where is my art? Where is my novel or musical? Where is my Google IPO god dammit? I CANNOT FOCUS!"

"Um, I have some Adderall I can sell you" came Craig's southern drawl from the haze of the room.

"Yeah - I know Craig. Tried it. Loved it. Then hated it." Tim responded. "What's the end game with Adderall or anything medical? It's only short term. Am I going to be an addict on Adderall all my life?"

"Hey, it would set me up pretty well financially if you go that way" replied Craig with a chuckle.

"Yeah Craig, well last I checked I have little interest in supporting my local street hustler pharmacy." Tim chimed in. "Look I can give up sex if it means I get all the other things I want. I want my chance to make a difference and I think - knowing me - my best chance to do that is to snip them off." And with that he hand motioned a scissors snipping off two fingers that were held up in a 'V'.

"Plus" he continued, gaining some energy now "we're supposed to be into all this Greek and Roman shit - and do you know what some followers did back in good ole' 200 BC - they castrated themselves. In fact we celebrate a holiday to them!"

This bold statement elicited some general laughter. "Oh, was the Easter Bunny two eggs short?" voiced Marcus. "Or how about Santa Claus - was he actually a eunuch?"

"Well you're close with the Easter Bunny" Tim pointed vigorously toward Marcus. "It's April Fools Day."

Silence. Then Craig volunteered "I'd pretty pissed if someone played that prank on me." Chuckles rolled from the group.

"Well, no, it wasn't exactly like that. Come on guys - you must remember the story of Attis and Cybele?" Tim implored. "Attis was a eunuch but he was also Cybele's consort - basically husband. Well a lot of people trace April Fools Day to a Roman ritual called Hilaria Matrus Deum in honor of Cybele. Cybele had the total package going for her. She'd come in on a chariot pulled by lions - she was such a baddass. And she had huge tits, and was like the mother to the Greek civilization."

"Well Hilaria was a day on March 25 when all the citizens of Rome had to have fun. It was an actual Roman law. They could not be sad for fear of ruining her mojo or something. And on that Chariot of hers was Attis - her eunuch husband. A twist the Romans added was that people could have fun by playing tricks. Citizens were actually allowed to impersonate other people - including dignitaries - to try to trick others. It was the start of Aprils' Fools Day."

The crowd didn't know if they should be taking lecture notes or shooting spitballs at the teacher.

"Well so there is this Attis guy - no balls and married." Continued Tim. "And at first I thought - woah - that's kind of a loveless marriage - quite literally. But then I got to thinking and researching things and I know it sounds crazy but I think when two people remove physical sex from the relationship they have a chance to become closer. And if they do it right - they become soul mates and are even stronger together."

"Fuck that" interjected Marcus. "I mean I don't know about gay men but I for one feel I only become close with a woman after we do it. I mean I open up about some crazy shit while we are recovering you know" and with that Marcus gave a squeeze to both Elana and Nina who were nestled up against him. Elana and Nina shrugged at each other, neither really remembering the 'opening up' part of their encounter.

"But that's the thing, Marcus" Tim leaned in his direction "you only open up after you've spilled your godly seed. How much time do you spend getting to that point. I'll wager a ton of time"

"Well not as much as you might think" retorted a confident Marcus.

"Yeah well, we all aren't sexual magnets. Besides" Tim continued "it's still time you - er I - can better spend changing the world. But there is one pretty big requirement" Tim slowed up his speech.

"You mean something bigger than losing your nutsack." Horace chimed in from the back of the room.

"If I do this I need a partner. Someone - a woman actually - that will be that powerful mate that complements me and makes us both strong."

Marcus squirmed a bit sensing what was coming.

"I think he should do it" Lilly finally broke her silence. She had been sitting on the ground about five feet from Tim's chair listening and chatting with Mike and Gwen. She hadn't invested any time in makeup for the evening - not that her naturally high cheek bones and wide eyes needed any outside help - but she did invest in braiding her hair Greco style. The knotted strands ran around her head almost like a head band coming together in a bunch in the back making a somewhat messy bun. Curls hung just in front of her ears to frame her face. Leather ties held her bun in place and ran down to her back and shoulders. Marcos had been struck several times by Lilly's Athena look - total goddess beauty. This was not that. This was her warrior look and she looked fierce. It made Marcos just as horny.

"And if he does," she continued, "he will become my lifelong consort." She reached out her hand for his. Tim took it and exchanged a warm -almost brotherly smile.

With this the room erupted again. And now the argument intensified. But one by one Lilly and Tim won over the small group. In the end most sided with Tim's simple right as an adult. And given some of the logic of the arguments all did agree to support him as a friend. With that said, there wasn't a single man besides Tim that remotely thought this was a good idea.

"Well the only thing left to do is plan the party" Nina called out. "When should we do this thing?"

"Uh - April 1 of course" replied Tim. And the date was set.

April Fools Day

The group had already been on the private lake beach for over 3 hours when dusk began to settle. The unseasonably warm April day began to turn cool with the night and Mike and Horace set about lighting a few fire pits that had been arranged earlier in the day. Of course the flames were not just about heat - they were also Tim's pyric tribute to the Greek gods he was about to imitate.

The property Tim had rented was ideal for the coming event. Bordered on three sides with thick pine forests it provided a large amount of privacy. The fourth side looked over the water and was situated on a small inlet. This kept neighboring boaters or residents from getting too close a peek at the festivities.

A gated access road discouraged both official and unofficial visitors from turning into the property. At the same time it was easy to drive their supplies down to the campsite - or to make a quick exit if necessary.

This was important to Lilly. It was decided - mostly against her wishes - that Tim would undertake the operation the old fashioned way - which is to say anywhere but a hospital. He wanted to be outdoors with his friends as they reached the pinnacle of a crazy spring bacchanal. Lilly was training to be a vet - not a medical doctor for sure - but she knew her way around a scalpel. And Gwen and Mike were both pre-med. Despite the doctors in training that would be present, Lilly wanted quick access to the highway and a hospital in case something went wrong.

As the fires sputtered then rose to a roar, Tim took center stage addressing a group that had grown to 19 as a few additional friends and significant others were invited to witness clearly a once in a lifetime spectacle.

"Aaaahhhh" Tim started by screaming to the heavens. Marcus was sure Tim had intended a roar - a lions song to welcome his Cybele in on her chariot. But all Tim could muster was a higher pitch, intense shriek.

"Are we not gods?" he challenged his friends. Craig and Gwen, both feeling no pain and completely getting into the hedonistic show, responded with similar intensity "Fuck Yeeaahhhh". Most others weakly followed with half-hearted cheers, either embarrassed or ashamed that they did not jump in with a faster more energetic response.

"Thank you all for coming." Tim dialed it down a decile. "This is a tremendous gift you are giving to me - to witness, protect and raise me up into my new life. Thank you from the bottom of my heart." And with that Tim took a deep theatrical bow to moderate applause. "But not only did you all supply your presence also but your energy. I could not stop myself from laughing, shouting and 'hurraying' all the wonderful athletes that took to the field early today."

Tim was referring to the 'games' he and Nina had concocted for the daytime activities.

"So I want to reward all of you with a gift - my token of appreciation for the energy and love you shared." With that Tim bent down to a small knapsack at his feet and removed strands of ribbons with gold and silver medallions.

"What is an Olympics without medals?" He shouted as he turned back to the crowd.

"Horace - you're up first - please come forward." A slight framed figure with jet back hair, no shirt and shorts almost falling off his thin hips made its way bashfully to Tim.

"Horace - your wresting skills this afternoon where - well let's just say something to behold. I have never seen quite that amount of enthusiasm from someone of your stature." Horace smiled although he wasn't sure why he was recognized for wrestling. By all accounts he got trounced in each match - including the cross gender trial with Nina. But that was OK by him. It was worth the embarrassment of losing in order to grab hold of Nina's muscular thighs, press her close to his hips as he grabbed her waist from behind, or nudge his check up against her cheek in failed attempts to take her down.

"You look puzzled Hor." Tim asked with a smile. "I'm of course referring to the massive boner you displayed in each and every match." The crowd laughed and let out a few catcalls. "I mean, boy or girl, that stiffy shot up every time you joined your opponent in a half nelson or choke hold and especially when you and he squirmed for positioning in the sand. I mean, that was insane. When you stood up I thought a salamander had crawled into your shorts and was squirming for release."

"Oh my god" Craig shouted out "That was his dick? I thought I was laying on a stick". The crowd erupted in laughter.

"And kudo's to you brother" Tim continued. "I think we can all say that we did not expect the overall size of your effort" with Tim emphasizing the word size. Cheers ensued. Horace held up the medal now with embarrassed pride. As he turned he grabbed his crotch with his free hand to recognize the tool of his achievement.

And it continued. A medal was handed out to everyone. All for various accomplishments. The awards were either for pure athletic prowess, such as Gwens' sharp shooting skills, or more often than not for some sexual innuendo that Tim was able to glean mysteriously from the exercises.

About midway through the medals Marcus heard his name called. He approached Tim with curiosity and amusement. He wondered what Tim had in store for his recognition.

"Marcus" Tim started. "You are a special one." He placed a hand on Marcus' shoulder. "As we all know we are here in Austin to learn and achieve. And Marcus epitomizes this spirit of education, learning and improving more than anyone else here. So Marcus you are awarded the medal of letters for your contributions to our study group." There was a bit of a hush. This was the most serious pronouncement Tim had presented so far and completely out of character. Marcus's look turned more quizzical.

"I mean, you were always there for our young ladies to show them how to shoot a gun, or the proper way to squat when bumping volleyballs." Tim spoke and then laughter emerged. "I mean, you would shimmy right up behind them, get nice and close - so you could show them the proper form." Tim attempted to shimmy up to Marcus's tall frame but he backed off.

"And they seemed to react well to your guidance." Tim continued as he broke off his attempt to get close to Marcus. "I saw many of your students squirm to fit their bodies to your curves. And boy did they try. I saw some noticeably flushed cheeks from Elana in particular as she tried with such diligence to follow your instruction." Elana let out a whoop. "Oddly enough, I never observed you training our young men" Tim continued. "That must have been when I was judging the other sports." Tim gave Marcus a wink and hung the medal around his neck.

More medals came and went and the night grew darker - the stars brighter - and the flames warmer. The crowd gathered around the campfires as the medal ceremony wrapped up. They grabbed beers and toasted each other's accomplishments while the next event was setup. Mattresses were taken down from a pickup truck and laid on the ground. Four twins were set next to each other and then lined with sheets, blankets and pillows.

"What the hell" said Horace as he noticed the cushiony platform being setup. "That's kind of an odd place to get your balls cut off" he observed.

Marcus knew Horace was right - that these beds were not intended for a comfortable castration. This was a special surprise. Lilly took him aside to discuss this 'event' with him last week. He felt a pit in his stomach. He was hoping he had talked her out of it. He had failed.

From somewhere in the shadows behind the cars something shimmering caught Marcus's eye. Hints of gold and silver sparkled and it drew closer. Then a pure white gown took shape followed by blonde locks of hair all curly and flowing that was topped with a gold tiara.

Lilly emerged escorted by Gwen and Elana as her matrons. This was Lilly's Athena look; a queen, a goddess, powerful but still soft and glowing. The robes revealed just enough of her form to outline her bosom, waist and motherly hips. Gold chain was wrapped around her waist and strands were left dangling just to the right of center. As she moved forward the gold chain swayed back and forth mirroring her right inner thigh. Sway left. Sway right. Sway left. It could hypnotize the weaker minded into believing her garden was waiting for them. They could visit to smell the flowers, savor the meal, and ravage the flesh.

Gwen and Elana were in costume as well - though in more modest gowns. Theirs were cut short to reveal their tanned calves and just the hint of soft thighs. The thongs of leather sandals ran up their calves, securing their footwear just below the knees. Their young smooth shoulders were exposed and reflected the moonlight. They were locked arm in arm with Lilly and all three moved towards the soft and inviting dais with giddy amusement and confidence.

"Friends, Romans, Countrymen" Lilly shouted. "Now that I Have your attention I want to reveal a special treat for this evening. As you know we are here for Tim. He is embarking on a particularly brave transition. He desires nothing less than total commitment and focus from himself so that he can change the world and I could not be happier or more proud of such a true man. Any man that should choose to close off the path of carnal pleasure and wanton lust for a higher calling deserves not only our praise but also our devotion. And so - as you know - I have agreed to give myself to this man with all my heart and soul. Together I am confident that our partnership will make us stronger than we could ever be if we were chained to purely the pleasures of our flesh." Some lackluster cheers as she paused.

"Over the past few years I have felt like a sister to some of you and frankly a mother to almost all of you. And as your mother I did my best to offer advice, comfort, love and understanding. Few of you took my advice" she paused for a few chuckles from some that knew firsthand the perils of not heading Lilly's advice "but all of you listened and took comfort. Some of you also took love - and even a few hungrily grabbed love from me in ways that were not so motherly" this brought more laughter and sneers "but I was always willing - and I'd like to think exceptionally able."

"You know it Lilly" came a shout from Horace. This sent a stir of shock and surprise through the crowd as no one believed the weak little Horace could bed their Goddess.

"I have pledged to Tim a year of chastity to support him as he adjusts to his new form." Marcus could swear he heard Craig mutter 'Bullshit' under his breath. "But that clock doesn't start until later this evening." She paused again with a lascivious smile. "Before mothers become mothers we are first lovers. And tonight I will be a lover to many of you." This was still a bit cryptic and the crowd seemed to whisper a collective "Whaaattt?".

"Tonight I want to be sent off to my year of sexual abstinence by being fucked wildly and with lustful abandon." Silence. "I will pick six of you my friends. And each of the chosen will - one at a time" she emphasized "join me on this bed for a few minutes - or hopefully longer - of the best sex you can muster."

Horace, Mike and Nina already had their hands up as if begging for the teacher to 'pick me, pick me'. Craig began to rush forward but was stopped quickly by Elana that was standing to the side.

"Calm down." Lilly continued well naturedly. "Please let me finish. Your names will be selected randomly from a hat. If you don't want to participate that's fine. We'll just pick another name. But of course I assume most of you will be eager to enter into this lottery. But before you do there is something else you should know. Like almost everything Greek this is in fact a contest. All of you will win a certain amount of pleasure. But the one that succeeds to fucking 'rock my world' the most will capture a very special video I've created for you to remember me by." Coos competed with the crackling sound of the campfires. "But the one that brings me the least pleasure will . . . "Lilly paused.

"Get your balls cut off" Tim shouted as he quickly emerged from the shadows. He was dressed in a Goddess gown similar to Lilly's. He also sported a tiara, and he made his entrance with an exaggerated Mae West walk that was more suiting a burlesque show than a Greek tragedy.

"Before you get too worried" Tim continued "you should know that I will be the last of the six. And - for those of you who haven't noticed - I'm GAAYY!" he emphasized with a girlish pose, one hand on his hip and the other dramatically pointing upward. "So I don't think this is going to be much of a contest. But if you do enter you do have to sear to live by those rules." There was general laughter and agreement when Nina interjected "Do women get to put their names in the hat?"