All Comments on 'Naive Soccer Moms/Internet Stars'

Blackmail sounds like a good idea to me. Maybe future stories. 5/5 stars.

Dewey Cheatham

FYI, when writing dialogue, the narrative associated with the dialogue (such as He said) is part of the same sentence AND paragraph as the dialogue. Do NOT but a paragraph break between the two parts.

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For example, here's part of your story.

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A couple of days later I received a text message during the day from my tech friend asking if my dad was home. I said,

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"No, he is out of town on business for a couple of days. What's up?" He said,

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"Well there is some activity in your parent's bedroom. You might want to turn on your monitor. I won't patch the other guys in unless you want me to."

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This should be as follows:

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A couple of days later I received a text message during the day from my tech friend asking if my dad was home.

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I said, "No, he is out of town on business for a couple of days. What's up?"

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He replied, "Well, there is some activity in your parent's bedroom. You might want to turn on your monitor. I won't patch the other guys in unless you want me to."

Thanks Dewey. I am not done yet with this story theme. Blackmail for sure.

Thanks anonymous for your input regarding dialogue. Very helpful. As a writer I am still learning. Punctuation, proper sentence structure, paragraph separation are all still challenging to me but I am a work in progress.

Just LOVE all your stories. Especially love the scout and soccer moms stories. Please continue these!

Would love to chat with you about the stories. Any "reality" in these stories? Etc.

bcrewguy@outlook.com

Hey bcrewguy, thanks for the positive comments. Yes there is reality to my den mother stories. I will contact you via e mail.

Oh yea, there is reality to most of my stories. Check out my latest story Delightful Den Mother Damsels. It is totally over the top. You will enjoy it.