All Comments on 'Naive Sorority Sister'

proof reading would probably help

Not sure about previous comment "Pretty Bad" but I liked it, I am not a fan of inter-racial sex, but not a hater either, just an old man with his own opinions. Nice little romantic/sex story here. Keep writing please.

His penis went in and out of my penis so fast, it felt like a bullet train going through a tunnel. 0.o

oh, and the guy has 2 different names evidently?

Or Marcus? One star for sheer stupidity.

I read this through one time more than the author apparently...

Insert to word, use the replace tool and change Julius to Marcus or vice versa, do some proof reading and you can have 3 stars, until then you can stick with 2, poor story and bad writing, allthough not AWFUL for a first attempt.

It's often difficult to keep track of names of fictional characters. It takes a bit of practice. A good method would be to arrange character names on snipits of paper. That way you can physically move them around should they need to be.. The heat of passion in writing can also confuse with wording. Penises for example rarely slide in or out of other penises unless it's a sci fi story.

He puts on a condom, they start having sex, his cum shoots into her pussy. What happened to the condom? Did I miss something?

His penis went faster in and out of my penis? Someone needs an anatomy class

I googled parts of the story and found it on another story so either you copied them or they copied you but their story was supposedly published online at 2011.. so I think it's not so much as proofreading as you copy and paste thing so I'm definitely gonna have to report this..