All Comments on 'Naked at the Pool Party'

Your ideas and plot twists seem good, but the dialogue could use a little work. The conversations seem very forced yet shallow. It takes a while to feel any attachment because of that. Maybe some behaviors involved vs just rapid fire back and forth would help?

Something like: Emma buried her head between her hands, glowing red with embarrassment at the thought of having to go completely naked in public. She had never done anything like this before, and the knot in her stomach began to twist. A whimper escaped from between her fingers, "What am I going to do?!"

Hope they both got knocked up from guys cumming in them

Wasn't remotely realistic, nothing that happened felt natural. Dalogue felt forced and rushed.