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Naked Celebrities for Nude Day


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Celebrities get naked, when models are a no show.


At the time, in celebration of Nude Day, it was a good idea to hire every day, average looking people, albeit emaciated looking people, to model nude, as the Director's way to show the continuing problem of world hunger in his documentary, Hunger Around the World. As a financial bonus, instead of hiring more costly professional models, models that would surely cost him $250 an hour, instead of the $50 an hour he paid these average, everyday looking people to model nude, hiring common people would give him the realism he needed, while maintaining the documentary's tight production budget. Just as they had one hundred select celebrities in attendance, they had ten nude models from the ten poorest countries in the world, Ethiopia, Niger, Central African Republic, Giunea-Bissau, Union of Comoros, Republic of Somalia, The Solomon Islands, Republic of Zimbabwe, Republic of Liberia, and the Democratic Republic of Congo, playing their naked roles. How the modeling agency found these people from these countries living in America and willing to strip naked in a documentary was a monumental task that took weeks of searching, negotiating, and planning.

Most people would think that India and Afghanistan would make the list of the poor of the poorest countries, but India and Afghanistan are rich compared to some of these other above mentioned countries of Africa. Further, the fact that these ten people from these ten poorest of countries in the world were all very dark in color added to the contrast of rich and poor and white and black, even though there were many black celebrities in attendance. Money and corruption are the reasons why there are so many hungry people and money and corruption are the reasons why there will always be hungry people.

Rather than just photographing naked people, rather than having well groomed, good looking, and well fed, albeit naked, professional models tell the world, why they're so hungry, the director thought it would make more of an impact statement to have average, too thin people, instead of models graphically showing the world hunger issues by displaying their too thin, naked bodies. Models freely choose to be so hungry for the sake of staying skinny to continue to model in their modeling careers, whereas the poor, starving people of the world that the movie was about, were those people, who don't have a choice with regard to hunger, as they never have enough food to eat. These were the people that the director wanted to capture mingling with rich celebrities at a cocktail party and during dinner. While the celebrities dined upon a literal feast of delicacies from around the world, these hungry appearing naked models would eat the insufficient and not very nourishing and/or appealing cultural food they normally eat, when living in their country. Of course, after the cameras were off, they'd be appropriately fed and given the same food, as their celebrity counterparts.

A documentary that no one has dared to do before, as an explicitly graphic display, to be released with the celebrated occasion of National Nude Day on July 14th at a theatre near you, no doubt, this film would not only open the eyes of so many but also would win awards. Maybe, after people saw this film, the world would make more of a focused effort to eradicate hunger and poverty around the globe by deposing those dictators and removing those politicians, who more cared about their personal wealth than they do about the people they represent. Where better a place to start than Hollywood to corral one hundred, very rich celebrities to help make their documentary? Whose better voice to use than to put the celebrity voices to all that they've seen and done to help others not as blessed, while in their travels around the world?

Imagine watching a film with Brad Pitt and his wife, Angelina Jolie, George Clooney with his current girlfriend, Stacy Keibler, Tom Hanks and his wife, Rita Wilson, Oprah Winfrey with her best (ahem) friend, Gayle King, Tom Cruise and his wife, Katie Holmes, and John Travolta and his wife, Kelly Preston, along with eighty-eight other celebrities and ten naked models peppered in the scenes and acting as if they're fully dressed. Designed to be such, the movie may have been an award winning documentary but what it turned into was a drunken, sexual fiasco. It wasn't until in the editing room that the director realized he had a much better movie edited from the cutting room floor than he had anticipated and ever hoped to dare imagine with his Hunger Around the World documentary.

Instead of making his movie on hunger, what he had instead was a movie on complacency, another reason why hunger exists, because if they're not the one hungry, too few others truly care enough to make a real impact on eradicating hunger. Instead of being there to make their impact statements on hunger, what he had was celebrities acting out as their spoiled selves. Instead of voicing their experiences, giving their opinions, and even offering solutions on how to solve the world hunger problem, celebrities were more concerned with who slept with who and who was sleeping with who. Actually, the best part of the film and the reason why so many people would go to see such a film about world hunger was to see the celebrities, people with no shame, washing their dirty laundry in public and on film.

The nightmare in Hollywood started when, someone, a lowly production assistant, no doubt, in charge of such minor details, since all the amateur models had speaking parts, forgot to register the nude models with the Screen Actors' Guild. At $2,335 a model to sign up 10 people is a stiff $23,500, which is where the celebrities come in to play. With each celebrity paying $10,000 a plate to be there as their goodwill publicity part of an award winning documentary on hunger, the million dollars received from just the cover charge would more than cover the SAG signup cost, along with production costs for the live shoot and the expenses to host the banquet. Only, with all the models given lines and speaking parts, without a SAG card, the nude models weren't allowed to appear and speak in the movie and, without nude models showcasing hunger, there was no movie, or so thought the director. Union rules are union rules and everyone from the camera crew, to the production staff, and to catering would just walk off the set.

"Attention everyone. Attention, please. Hi everyone. I apologize for the interruption. For those who don't know me from my documentaries, I'm Ken Burns, your host. Hi," he said lifting his hand in a wave, as he gazed upon the celebrity crowd, while the nude models filed from the room.

"Hi Ken," said a few celebrities from the crowd.

"I haven't seen this many celebrities in one room, since the Oscars," he said with a nervous laugh. "Unfortunately, in honor of Nude Day and to showcase world hunger, we were to have ten nude models to film, every day, average people, actually. Only," he paused to look out over the crowd again. "There was just one small, missed detail that someone forgot, along the way. Difficult to find people from the poorest countries in the world living here in the United States and even more difficult to find people willing to strip naked to be filmed, even on Nude Day, inexcusably, the modeling agency we used didn't supply us with SAG models. None of the models they gave us had a SAG card. Unfortunately, since all the models have speaking parts and as you all know, we can't use models that haven't joined SAG. Unfortunately, we can't make this documentary. Unfortunately..."

"Hell, why shit can the whole thing? We're all here," said Brad Pitt looking around his table. "Keep filming," he said with a wave of his hand. "You may be surprised, what you'll capture on film and after a lot of editing--"

"And a lot of drinking," said George Clooney raising his glass and making everyone laugh.

"With a little snip here and a big clip there, you just may have yourself a documentary," persisted Brad, despite the levity from his friend.

If only he knew how prophetic his words were. If only he knew that this film would go down in history, as the biggest celebrity orgy the modern world has ever seen. If only they knew that this naked bash would be the best damn Nude Day ever.

"Maybe we can give your camera crew enough raw footage that you won't need naked models to make your film," chimed in George Clooney. "You can always insert videos of naked people after the fact, ones without a speaking role, to show the contrast from rich to poor and well fed to starvation."

"For a little added spice and to give your movie an R rating, there's enough celebrities in this room with sex tapes. You can cut and paste some of those scenes in your movie," said Tom Cruise with a laugh and making everyone laugh.

"Don't you dare," said Paris Hilton feigning embarrassment.

"I'll see you in court with an injunction to stop your movie, if you do," said Kim Kardashian with a mean, little laugh.

"I don't care if you use my sex tapes," said Britney Spears.

"We all know something about hunger," said John Travolta. "With all of us having traveled the world, we've not only seen starvation first hand but also we've all been responsible in helping to help feed millions of people."

"Okay, alright. Fair enough," said the director. "Yeah, that's the spirit. Let's do this then," he said looking out over the celebrated collection of celebrities. "On you marks. Ready. Action!"

With 100 celebrities locked on a sound set stage made to look like a hotel ballroom, a dozen roving cameras roamed the floor filming the rich and famous sitting at their tables and eating dinner, while another eight stationary cameras shot the action and listened in from all sides of the huge room, as celebrities, hopefully, discussed poverty. If the naked models couldn't show the disparity between the rich and the poor than the sumptuous food the celebrities were served surely would.

"I'm hungry," said John Travolta. "Let's eat! Where's the food? I haven't eaten all day. I figured at ten grand a plate, we'd be eating something decent, so I saved my appetite."

"You're always hungry, Johnny," said his wife, Kelly Preston. "If you didn't exercise as much as you do, you'd weigh 300 pounds," she said with a laugh. "You'd look much like the character you played in your movie, Michael."

"Speaking of hunger. Did you know," said George Clooney staying with the hunger theme, "that Protein-Energy Malnutrition, PEM, is the most lethal form of malnutrition and hunger?"

"I didn't know that said Brad Pitt sitting next to his wife, Angelina Jolie, and at the same table as Stacy Keibler, George's date, Jennifer Aniston and her date, Tom Hanks and his wife, Rita Wilson, and John Travolta and his wife, Kelly Preston, one of George Clooney's old lovers. "With the thousands of poor people we helped in New Orleans, Louisiana, after hurricane Katrina, I always figured it was just not having enough food that starved so many. I didn't know there was a missing specific nutritional ingredient or component responsible for so many deaths," said Brad.

"I think the seating arrangement is rather odd," said Jennifer Aniston ignoring the hunger topic of discussion and interrupting the world hunger dialogue to interject her personal opinion with attitude. "Other than hoping we'd make a scene, by getting in a heated argument, even a catfight and rip off one another's clothes, no doubt, I don't understand why they continue sitting me with you, Brad, and you, Angelina," she said without looking at either one to address her displeasure with the seating arrangements.

"Maybe it's just for comparison sake," said Angelina, before slowly looking over at Jennifer and forcing a slow smile, as if she wasn't worth the effort of even turning her head to look her way, never mind smile at her. Then, sticking out her nearly bare chest that was barely concealed by her designer ball gown and pursing her full, red lips, she gave Jennifer her movie star look, while batting her long, false, eyelashes at her.

"Pardon?" Jennifer stared at her ex-husband's new bride with a face full of hate. "What did you just say to me?"

"Look at me," said Angelina with a slow wave of her hand, while slowly looking down at herself, as if displaying herself as a showcase on the Price Is Right, before quickly glancing at Jennifer, "and look at you. I look like a Hollywood movie star and, well...you don't," she said making a sour face at Jennifer, "is all that I'm saying."

"Bitch," said Jennifer.

"Now, now, ladies," said George. "We're all friends here or used to be friends, once," he said looking squarely at Kelly Preston's exposed, ample cleavage.

"Used to be friends is the appropriate phrase, isn't it George? After you gave my wife that pet pig, Max, who lived for eighteen, long years," said John Travolta, "I always wondered and wanted to ask you a question."

"Yes," said George. "What would you like to know, John?" Clooney turned to smile at his girlfriend Stacy, before focusing his attention on Travolta.

"What man gives the woman he's fucked a pig?" As if he was Vincent Vega in Pulp Fiction, John gave George and icy cold stare. "Were you calling my wife a pig, George, when you gave her a pig? Is that it? Were you calling my Kelly a pig?"

"Certainly not," said George looking from John to Kelly and back to John with shocked disbelief. "Why must we dredge this up every time we're together, John? The pig was just a gift, after Kelly said she'd love to have a pet pig," said George smiling at Kelly, before returning his focused attention to John, and after taking his girlfriend's hand in his and squeezing it.

"Even after all these years, I still can't remove the image from my mind of your hairy, naked body sweating all over my naked wife, while boning her," said Travolta to Clooney, while munching on a breadstick and nodding his head, no doubt, inspired to speak out, after seeing George eyeing his wife's abundant breasts. "Actually, I'm surprised that you even fucked my wife because," said Travolta taking his breadstick and using it as a cock prop to stroke and suck. "Truth be told, as reported in the Hollywood rumor mill, where there's smoke there's fire," he said with a laugh. "Much like what's been reported of you in the tabloids, I always thought you were gay."

"Johnny," said Kelly looking from her husband with awkwardness to give George an apologetic look, before looking back at her husband, "I can assure you that George is not gay," said Kelly with a nervous laugh, while patting her husband's hand, their secret cue for him to cool it and calm the fuck down.

"Is that right?" Ignoring his wife's hand pat, John looked at his wife looking at George. "Well, if you ask me, even back then, he had gay tendencies with him forcing you to suck his cock," said John, while using his breadstick as a pointer and demonstration tool, "before fucking you up the ass."

"Johnny, stop. I'm so totally humiliated," said Kelly. "I'm so embarrassed," she said raising her hand to cover her red face.

"When I was dating your wife, John, long before you married her or even dated her, I might add, I was always politely respectful of her," said George leaning forward and reaching across the table to smile at Kelly and to take hold of her hand, while winking at her, before refocusing his attention on his date, Stacy, and on John Travolta. "As a man who doesn't kiss and tell but, by disclosing the intimate details of our brief, romantic union this one time, in hope that this will forever end the never ending dialogue, once and for all, Kelly begged me to cum in her mouth, just as she begged me to fuck her up the ass. Isn't that right, Kelly? Tell him," coerced George. "Tell your husband how you begged me to cum in your mouth and fuck you up the ass, Kelly."

"This is hardly appropriate dinner conversation," said Tom Hanks looking apologetically at his wife, Rita Wilson, before looking at George Clooney. "Cover your ears, sweetheart," said Tom to Rita.

"Shouldn't we be discussing world hunger and talking about those who are starving," said Rita elbowing Tom's arms away, when he tried to cover her ears with his hands.

"Actually, George," said Kelly ignoring Tom and Rita's requests to change the topic of discussion from sex to hunger. "As I did with all my dates back then, I was prepared to blow you, but not fuck you, and certainly not fuck you anally," she said shaking her head from side to side, while making a disagreeable face, as if the bitter memory of their sexual union was something so sour.

"I see," said George. "That's not the way that I remember our date. The way that I remember our time together was you being hungry for my cock and you begging me to fuck you up the ass, after having blown me."

"Being that it happened so long ago, perhaps you're mistaking me for someone else," said Kelly looking at Stacy, "one of your long line of girlfriends."

"No, I remember distinctly that it was you. Trust me, guys don't forget their conquests, especially when their lovers were as beautiful and as sexually provocative and erotically adventurous, as were you," said George with a victorious smile.

"To be bluntly honest, George. My apologies to you, Rita, for having to be so graphically explicit, but I need to clear the air by defending myself for once and for all. I didn't know you were going to have anal sex with me, George," said Kelly pointing her manicured finger at him. "When you twirled me around and bent me over, with so very little time to react, I figured you were going to fuck me doggie style. I was shocked, when you plunged your cock deep in my ass, humped me hard, and had me squealing so much like Max, that cute, little, perfect, pet pig you gave me." She looked at George and bit her lip, as if reliving the experience again that happened so long ago.

"See? I knew it! You took advantage of Kelly by fucking her up the ass," said John, you dirty son-of-a-bitch.

"Mentioning it just in passing, even though I told you that pigs were cute, I never thought you'd actually buy me a pet pig, George. Maybe in the way that I was screaming and trying to pull away from you, when you were having anal sex with me, I reminded you of a pig. I don't know," said Kelly. "Yet, for you to buy me a pig, after so treating me as if I was your personal pig, forget about John suspecting you to be gay, in the deplorable, disrespectful, and rough way you treated me, truth be told, I always wondered if you hated women."

"He bought me a pet pig, too," confessed Stacy. "He buys all his women pet pigs. I didn't see the harm in it, but now I do," she said pulling her hand away from George's hand. "He bought you the smallest one, Kelly, and he bought me the biggest pig I've ever seen, an 800-pound porker. I see the symbolism, now," said Stacy with sadness. "I'm nothing more than his big pig."

"See? Even Kelly admits that you forced her to have anal sex with you and even your girlfriend admits you called her a pig, by buying her one, you dirty bastard," said John. "Even your current girlfriend sees the sick symbolism in you buying her a pet pig, too. You're a woman hater. That's what you are," said John pointing at George with the bitten end of his breadstick. "A God damn woman hater, which explains why you have a different woman by your side every time we meet."

"Allow your wife to finish, John. Let her tell her side of the story," said George trying to act calm but suddenly acting nervously embarrassed in front of Stacy and the rest of the others, who were silently sitting at his table. "Go ahead, tell him, Kelly, so that we can clear this up once and for all that I didn't call you a pig. Tell John that I'm not gay, as your husband believes I am, and I'm not a woman hater, as you and Stacy think I am," said George giving John a satisfied smile of vindication.

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