Nan Ch. 01

Nan

My Nan died peacefully in her sleep several months ago after a long and eventful life. Her death was not unexpected given her very advanced years and rapidly declining physical health but it still hit me particularly hard. She was the only person in my family that seemed to understand me and love me without judgment. In a lot of ways her death was a blessing, she was mentally switched on right to the very end and just went to bed one night and never woke up.

The retirement home where she lived, just packed up all her personal stuff into boxes and put them in storage before reallocating the room to someone new the same day of her death. Such is the corporate ruthlessness of the end-of-life business. Due to the grief and trauma surrounding that event, it has taken me all these months before I could face the task of going through any of Nan's personal effects which she left to me in her will.

One of the first things I found was Nan's notebook. In her later years, she would scratch away in her neat spidery handwriting at every opportunity. What the book revealed was a collection of personal stories about important events in her life. It generated a flood of memories each time I recognised a story which somehow relieved the grief I was feeling and helped me come to terms with her death. It was not until I was about three-quarters the way through unpacking the boxes that I hit the motherlode. It was an entire box full of identical notebooks all completely full of Nan's scribbles.

The story I am about to tell is one of the first ones that Nan wrote. I have no idea if it is true or not but given that all the other stories in her notebooks that I do know about or have been able to verify have proven to be remarkably accurate I have no reason to doubt that the events described took place. This story happened at Indiana University in 1950 where I know my Nan was a first-year student at the time which adds weight to its authenticity.

Nan's Story

I had been at university for over a month and was sitting quietly in a semi-darkened lecture theatre waiting for the lecturer to turn up. A group of frat boys sat down behind me. They were talking about the girls they could see sitting down the front in the well-lit part of the theatre. Being rich boofhead jocks, it was an immature and crass conversation rating the girls based on their looks and what base they thought could get too. I don't think they realised I was there or otherwise they may have been a bit more discreet. Adeline who I happened to know quite well was a plain girl who was sitting right down in the front due to her short sightedness wearing coke bottle glasses. They very quickly called her at five minutes before moving on to Brie sitting next to her. She was very pretty and had a different guy on her arm every week. This caused a heated discussion until a consensus was reached at forty minutes. The conversation continued in this vein until the lecturer eventually turned up.

After the lecture concluded and I was finishing off my notes when the boys behind me packed up their things and started to leave. The last one in the row directly behind me managed to spill all his lecture notes over the floor. The others just laughed and left him there scrambling around on the floor trying to pick everything up. Some of it had fallen under my seat and eventually my better nature prevailed, and I took pity on him and picked up the missing handful of papers and handed them back. He grabbed the papers but before I let them go, I said.

"That was a very interesting conversation you were having before the lecture."

It took him a half a second to turn bright red.

"You heard that?"

"Yes. What I want to know is what is this obsession you have with allocating each girl a number of minutes?"

The shade of red deepened even further and eventually he blurted out.

"It's the number of minutes that Professor Kinsey would need to interview each girl for his sex survey. The less time the less experienced."

My mouth fell open in shock and I let go of the papers. He grabbed his stuff and exited the building as fast as he could.

That evening I was in the dormitory with my two roommates Elizabeth and Barbara when I naively asked if either of them have heard of a Professor Kinsey. They both immediately knew exactly what I was talking about. Kinsey was famous or infamous depending on a person's point of view for the publication of his report into the 'Sexual Behaviour in the Human Male' which had been published only a couple of years beforehand. It had caused such a sensation when it had first come out. I knew absolutely nothing about it, which was a testament to my conservative, insular middle-class upbringing. Both Beth and Babs took great delight in unmercifully ribbing the poor innocent virgin girl about all things sexual. Babs had a steady boyfriend and Beth has some brief encounters during high school although nothing serious had ever happened to either of them. As far as I knew, both were just as virginal as me.

Beth told us that she had heard that Kinsey was preparing another report on the 'Sexual Behaviour in the Human Female' and he was looking of females on campus to interview. We joked around about that, daring each other to sign up to be interviewed. Somehow it morphed into a game of chicken, and no one was prepared to back down so the next morning, Beth who seemed to know most about it all dragged us off to the Zoology Department and signed us all up. I had a full day of lectures and tutorials so my appointment was at 5:30pm that evening.

As the end of the day approached, I became more and more apprehensive about what I had signed myself up to. I effectively knew nothing at all about sex apart from the very basics about which bits were which and what fitted where. I was completely convinced that I would make a complete fool of myself due to my inexperience. I packed up my things and headed off to my appointment with a plague of butterflies fluttering around in my tummy. Although my anxiety was topping out the thought of chickening out was not an option due the risk of being ridiculed by my room mates for the next three years. I found the building I needed with just a few minutes to spare and headed up to the interview room and quietly knocked on the door.

"Come in."

I turned the handle and entered a modest size room with a small table containing a clipboard and pens with two chairs either side. There was a window along one wall with the blinds partly drawn to dampen the late afternoon sun streaming in and a bench along the other wall with a tray containing a jug of water and a couple of glasses. The man pouring himself a drink was strikingly handsome in his late 20's or early 30's and his friendly demeanour somewhat helped to calm the butterfly's battering the insides of my tummy.

"Hi, I'm Paul. Would you like a drink of water before we start?"

"Yes. Thankyou."

I took the glass offered and quickly gulped down a mouthful of water. It was more to have something to do to distract me from my embarrassment rather than any genuine need to quench my thirst.

Paul moved across to the chair with the clipboard and sat down and indicated for me to sit in the other chair opposite.

"Before we start, how did you hear about this survey and what do you know about our institute and the research we are undertaking?"

"I heard about it from my roommates."

I promptly regurgitated everything that they had told me the previous evening. Some of the information was completely wrong and Paul was kind enough to set the record straight. The Institute was independently funded and separate from the University as a result of a generous grant from the Rockefeller Foundation. The aim of the study was to collect a baseline dataset on female sexuality to match and compliment the previously published scientific report on the sexuality of the human male. They intended to interview thousands of women over the next few years from all ages and demographics to get a broad representative picture as possible. He assured me that all the information collected would be strictly confidential.

I was put somewhat at ease by the explanation, not that I had anything salacious about myself to divulge in any event.

"Shall we get started?"

Opening the clipboard revealed a neatly typed double sided list of questions and a grid like answer form which he placed on the table ready to fill in. He did not even bother to look at the list of questions before launching in.

"How old are you?" - "Eighteen."

"What is your occupation?" - "I'm a student."

"What State were you born in?" - "Illinois."

"What is your race?" - "White."

"How would you class yourself?" - "Middle class."

The background questions went on for a few minutes with Paul filling in the relevant section on the answer grid to each one. Then out of the blue the first real question.

"How old were your when you had your first period?" - "Thirteen."

"Thirteen and how many months?" - "Thirteen and three months."

"Do you ever miss a period?" - "Not since I turned fourteen."

"When did your last period start?" - "Nearly three weeks ago."

"Describe your first sexual experience and how old were you at the time?"

That question threw me. I didn't know how to answer.

"What do you mean?"

"It could be anything. Your first kiss, your first sexual dream, first orgasm, oral sex, intercourse. Anything really."

"I have never had sex I am still a virgin."

There I had said it. It was out in the open and it was clear I was wasting Paul's time. Paul could see my discomfort and was not in the least bit phased by my candid admission. To reassure me that it was OK to be a virgin he said.

"We are trying to capture a snapshot of humanity and a no sex result is just as valid as a ten-page sexual history. Tell me about your first kiss. Surely a girl as attractive as you have kissed."

"I have never been kissed or kissed anyone. My family are very conservative and don't encourage touching or kissing and certainly never in public."

"At what age did you first masturbate?"

The colour flushed to my cheeks before I answered. "I had never masturbated."

"Have you ever engaged in any other type of sexual behaviour?" "No"

"Have you ever had an orgasm?" "No."

"Ok, we are just about done, just one last question. On a scale from 1 to 10 with 1 being completely heterosexual and 10 being completely homosexual how would you describe yourself?"

"One. Heterosexual."

That last question really brought out the red in my cheeks. I checked the time to distract me from my discomfort while Paul continued to fill in some remaining sections and crossing out the remaining three quarters of the answer form. Exactly 5 minutes. The Frat Boys were right.

Paul eventually finished with the paperwork and looked up at me and was a little surprised to see me still seated opposite.

"You can go now. We're all done."

"If you don't mind, could I just wait here for a few minutes?"

That was the first time I saw even the tiniest hint of surprise on his friendly face.

"Why?"

"Well, the Frat Boys who live across the street, time how long it takes for each girl to be interviewed. If you are only in for a short time like me, they know you're a virgin or very inexperienced."

"Well, I'll be damned! Those cheeky buggers. That is exactly the sort of thing I would have done at their age if I had thought of it. I will have to make some changes to the interview process to provide some better security. I am a bit surprised that you want those Neanderthals to believe a nice girl like you is a slut. It seems a very strange thing for you to want to do. You know that there is absolutely no shame in being sexually inexperienced. A lot of men find 'sweet and innocent' highly desirable in a young woman. You should enjoy and relish this time of your life as the cold hard world creeps up on us all too fast."

"I don't want them to think I'm a slut. Just someone with a little more experience. It is not that I am uninterested in sex it's just that I have no previous opportunity and have no idea where to start. If they think I have some sort of experience they might be a bit more interested and make the first move."

"Sounds reasonable. How long should we wait?

"Maybe ten minutes?"

"I am more than happy to spend time with an extremely attractive young woman. However, you might as well learn something about sex in the meantime otherwise you might find yourself into all sorts of unwanted trouble."

"Oh. I hadn't thought about that."

"Here's a question for you. What is the largest sex organ in the human body?"

"The penis?"

"Not even close its less than 1%."

"The breasts?"

"Slightly bigger again but not the biggest."

"OK. I give up, what's is the biggest?"

"It's the brain. The brain makes up about 9% of the human body and without it absolutely nothing sexual can ever happen. You must be turned on for sex to happen and without the brain that is just not possible. It is the most important and most underappreciated aspect of any sexual activity." The skin is the second most important sexual organ. Humans are tactile beings and need to touch and be touched."

"You must know an awful lot about sex after conducting all these interviews."

"Yes. There are not too many things that surprise me, but you surprised me. It is a long time since that has happened."

"You don't think I am weird, do you?"

"No. I think you are perfectly normal healthy young woman who is just starting out on her journey of sexual discovery. The only thing that is a bit unusual is your late development which is most likely to do with a restrictive and isolated upbringing, judging from the little you have told me about yourself. The fact that you have never masturbated is quite unusual as most people have mastered that particular art at a much younger age than you."

"Really? I thought that was a sin and your soul would burn in hell forever if you were ever tempted."

"Don't believe any of that religious hoodoo voodoo bullshit. Everyone masturbates and if they tell you they don't, then they are lying."

"So, you masturbate?"

"Yes. It is perfectly normal, natural and healthy in fact I would go as far to say that it is unhealthy not to do it."

"So how often do you do it.?"

"At the moment it is once or twice a day but that is only because my wife is heavily pregnant with our first child. She is suffering terrible morning sickness. Sex for her is not very pleasant at present. The last wank I had was about a half hour before this interview for professional reasons. Some of the stories I get told are very arousing and it is not very professional to get a raging hard-on during the middle of an interview with a young woman. The only other thing that might be a bit strange is your 100% preference for heterosexuality. As you are young and still a virgin so I don't have any real data to know exactly where you would fit on the scale.

"What scale?"

"The last study the institute published indicated that very few people were at the extreme ends of completely heterosexual or completely homosexual. Most of the population is distributed evenly across the spectrum. As far as I have seen in this new study the trend applies equally to both men and women."

"So where do you fit on the scale?"

"I'm somewhere between 2 and 3 on the heterosexual end of the scale but I am a bit unusual in that I am required as part of my job to experiment and explore beyond my normal comfort zone, so I have a better understanding of other people's experiences."

"So, you have had sex with a man?

"Yes. With a number of men in fact."

"What does your wife think about that?"

"She is incredibly supportive. She knows it is part of my job and how important it is to the research. Besides as part of our arrangement she is free to have other sexual partners as well."

"Has she had sex with other people since you were married?"

"Yes. A number of times with a number of different partners."

"Doesn't that cause problems?

"It can cause tension. We try to deal with that as best we can, by being extremely honest with each other, every time either of us has sex with someone else. Often that results in both of us getting extremely aroused and that leads to some of the best sex ever.

"Wow. I'm gobsmacked!"

"I know my situation is not typical, but it does provide some useful insights and I have learned so much."

"Like what?"

"Like every partner is completely unique. What works for someone will not necessarily work for someone else. Or what worked once may not work a second time. You have to be open to trying new things, experiment, find out what you like and what you don't like and most important of all, you need to use that great big curious and creative brain that we have been given."

"What do you mean?"

"For instance, even though I have recently sated my sexual appetite I bet you can give me an erection without ever getting out of that chair or making any physical contact with me purely by stimulating my imagination."

"How?"

"Through the power of suggestion. Do you want to try?"

"What do I do?"

"I cannot see all of you over this table, but I do know you are wearing a modest knee length dress that doesn't really showcase your best sexual assets. You have long smooth well-toned shapely legs without stockings. You have board attractive childbearing hips, a narrow waist and although they are covered you have an exceptionally fine pair of breasts that are beautifully proportioned to the rest of your body."

"I thought I was the one that was supposed to be turning you on not the other way round."

"Are you getting aroused?"

"Maybe, just a little."

"Good, so you get the idea of what I am trying to teach. It is not what I can see but the hint of possibilities of what may lie hidden beneath? OK it is your turn to try.

"I don't really know what to do?"

"Ok here is a suggestion. You have said that you have never masturbated in your life. Just describe to me how that might feel and what you might do. You do not have to do anything just describe what it might be like. I can't see over this table either way, so I won't know if you are doing anything or not."

"Um arr..." I was turning pink with embarrassment.

"Ok, just tell me about your hands and what you are presently doing with them."

"They are resting in my lap."

"Are they on top of your thighs or nestled between your legs?"

"They are nestled between my legs."

"Tell me more."

"I am gently pushing my hands down between my legs, but my dress is preventing me from pushing down any further."

"Ok, you are starting to get the hang of this."

"I am stroking my fingers upwards and can feel the heat emanating from between my legs."

"That's good. Keep going."

"I am starting to feel damp and squishy. I am trying to push down further but my clothes are in the way. I have opened my legs a little wider to gain better access, but I still can't reach where I need to be."

"You are doing great. I can see you are starting to get turned on and it is doing the same to me. Your breathing is deeper, your nostrils are flared, your skin is flushed, your pupils are dilated, and your nipples are hard. If you look at me, you will see the same thing happening to me I am mirroring exactly what is happening to you."

My confidence was starting to build with this game and took things up another notch.

"I am slowly pulling up the hem of my dress. It is above my knees exposing the bare skin of my thighs."

"Mmmm."

"I can open my legs wide now to get access to my panties. My skin is so sensitive. Every tiny little touch is turning me on."

"Ohhh yesss."

"My fingers are stroking the outside of my panties".

"Keep going."