by loveking
But it needs some work on the pacing. It feels like it spends too much time in prep and detail, and glosses over the actual act. Keep writing.
Not too fast, not too slow. Loved it! Thanks for the climax ;-)
Don't know how it could be improved. First story of this kind that I have read. Will watch for more.
I agree with the comment on the pacing. The "climax" seemed rushed.
Loved the development of the story and how Naoko was coaxed to participate. Especially loved how she fell into her role and began to enjoy being a slut.
Enjoying each of your stories. Would love to be the woman in your stories, having my anus and vagina used and probed along with orally used.