All Comments on 'Nat and the Freshwater Sharks Ch. 02'

Wow. We've been trolled by the author. His preponderance for excessive vengeful violence exceeded the just cause of righteousness. Poor Nat is going to jail for multiple assaults. As the football team actually got United and will clearly testify in bulk against him. And no payday not even with Maria. The lack of any sacrifice diluted the very promising story. Unless this is setting up an even bigger fall in the future it felt disingenuous.

Yeah. I struggled quite a bit with this. Everything is connected. Nat and Wanda and Elena and Dillon all exist in the same universe. The series covers almost fifty years of time. While Wanda is the center of my universe, Julie is the character I relate to when I write. Am I really comfortable writing about the daughter of my default POV character having her body forcibly exposed and groped in detail? Not really, I walked the line as close as I could allowing the audience to imagine what they want to imagine. Maria did in fact lose her bottoms. I usually keep my nonconsensual activity confined to the breast region because A. I'm more of a boob guy and B. women having panties and bottoms stripped is way more sinister the stakes get very high very fast. I'm not really the graphic forced encounter guy some readers would like me to be. I am setting up things in both the present timeline and the late 90s timeline with these. My cast of characters gets bigger and I can play with how they interact. It's hard to tell what pays off and what doesn't because I haven't written it yet and the audience hasn't read it yet. You might take notice that Wanda and Julie are not together anymore. So something is building in the 90s timeline. In the 70s flashback, Wanda's dad had sex with a white girl so there is a possibility of another Wilson kid a few years older than Wanda. I'm leaning more towards a brother than a sister. I do love the interaction with the readers but especially the other writers. I have done one crossover where Wanda and her cousins visit Baltimore and run across characters from another series. I believe the other author took his stuff down because he didn't enjoy the feedback he was getting especially from my readers that found him through my story. I wrote it so that it could have taken place in either his world or mine and it's open whether it's canon or not. In that spirit I do welcome readers to write their own "Wandaverse" stories if there is something they want to see. I actually did write the Elena character for a reader to take over. It was actually a group of Danish readers to have their own branch of the Wandaverse. Instead of the Tau Iota Tau's my main villains would be the female equivalent BARM. Magnus would accompany her of course as her guide slash translator. But the group of co-workers all got covid and I lost touch with them. Its still in the back of my head though.

I appreciate you taking the time out your life to entertain us, I really do. However, I gotta say we are all waiting on the continuation of Wanda's life. From the Chittown to 3 wishes you had good flow and always looked forward to the next step. I personally would like for you to continue that instead of talking about their kids.

Always glad to see a Pugzilla story, even when there a little off target. Was confused as Nat was being trained by his grandpa, with some nefarious potential brewing. Freshwater Sharks seemed to jump to an alternate timeline where Julie's partner Dwayne was showing him the pugilistic arts. In the grandfather timeline Nat did not seem this close to his sister.

I love how you showed Tad is a such a douchebag that he never let his hair get wet on a tubing trip. Hair products give away.

I can appreciate your apprehension with POV issues. Remember these are fictional characters. Plus just don't even put a character you would not want to see in hairy situations in the story or in duress. Like the playwright Checov said about the gun over the mantle, it shouldn't be there if it is not going to be used by the final act. You tried to tease Alexis having the worst case flash before her eyes. In my option it would have worked better had you played it out with more detail, then snapped back where she almost got unvield. Nat should have saved Maria and Alexis saved herself. As it is written Tad is the protagonist which adds to the sting of nothing happening in the end.

In the end I'd rather have any story then no story, so keep it up Pugz.

I know and I do appreciate the appreciation. I wrote myself into a corner a bit with the main storyline. I have so much non-erotic stuff to set up for the resolution with the Taus that I have to find a way to wrap around entries with an erotic core at each. It kind of became a chore to produce a chapter that develops the background story with a weak erotic element. Every time I write that Wanda's tits come out in public it kind of dilutes the experience. I've already had her actually have sex with other men. I'm trying to squeeze out as much from that as I can. I'm pretty sure I milked her top getting pulled off one day in high school for everything it was worth. I'm slowly shading in the details. By expanding the cast and settings I can write background while keeping the present stakes artificially high. I know it has been a while since I've been writing this at my best but I do feel a momentum starting to build. I also have a backlog of art to post. I've got several commissions done but for some reason, Literotica is slow approving art. I guess it's not a priority as stories are the meat and potatoes of the site. If anyone is anxious to see it before Literotica posts it, its on my artist's Deviant art page under the name ENFmaster.

Nat gets some boxing basics his father's friend Duane but there is a big difference between being shown the basics and getting a trainer to work with you to maximize your strengths and minimize your weakness. Grandpa Cesar is going to shape Nat physically and mentally. The timeline did skip back a beat or two. I don't want to get too bogged down in details with these it slows output and if I am going to put that much effort into writing it makes more sense to work on my real books. That big dip in production was from writing into a corner and not wanting to do the work of writing my way out of it. That's why the main story got sidelined a bit. Right now I'm just writing stuff to be productive again and hoping I can loop it back around. I have a story waiting approval and another half done and have the plan for the weekend in the woods mapped out. So I think I'm on track.

Anything new Wanda adventures coming up?

My art guy stopped doing commission work and that kind of threw me off a bit. Also, my delivery partner who insisted on doing all the driving has been out of the country for a month so I not only have less time to write while I drive but I have to sleep more so I'm rested when it's my turn to drive. I have three Wanda stories started and fleshed out but I don't want to rush them through because they have some of the payoffs the readers have been wanting and I want to do the payoff right.