All Comments on 'Neighbors Pt. 02'

This was as gay 2 guys sucking off three guys.

First off... If you write chapter 2 of a story you might want to make sure you use the same character names as chapter one. Here you use Charles and Monique where in ch 1 they were Chuck (yes I know short for Charles) and MARIA. Pick names and stick with them. Second... Pick a perspective and stay with it. In this chapter you flip-flopped between Larry and Tammy's perspective without anything delineating the change. If you're going to change perspectives... make it clear that you are.

Third... If you change perspectives keep the same perspective between third person (They did x,y,z.) and first person (I sucked x,y,z).

Fourth...Add more description. "Show" dont "tell". You should perhaps consider a creative writing class at a local adult learning school.

But keep writing! Good luck!

Leave the writing to people who can actually do it. Just disgusting.

You seemed to start off with the male perspective, then inexplicably bounce several times between the male and female (including clothing type being worn) perspective. You really need an editor to clean up what you are trying to write as it came off being very confusing.

Please fix this and resubmit it.

I'm staying up to late. I always do this, start looking at Literotica late at night and now, as usual, I'm hooked. Love the story, made me very wet. Thank you for the boost.xoxoxoxoxox Annette

he officially turned in his man card. Now this will devolve into the cucky, homoerotic fantasy of the writer.

Honestly, Part 2 was a piece of shit.

Character name changes etc. You should delete Part 2 and either fix it or dump it in the deepest hole you can find.

Best to find a good editor when a story has been cut and pasted so much. Good luck next time. Grade for English, "D."

but I am sure of one thing___you're gay.

The only commendable thing here is the courage you've displayed when you posted this story. It suffers from writing issus too numerous to mention. Others have done that for me. Thanks for your effort, though, and please get some editing help! *

Was okay swinger play until the creampie ... no guy swinger or not wants to eat another guys cream ...... if he did, then you a bi, and then you are just in the LW category to piss off the straight guys.

He just want to see his wife to fuck another man...So why the need to tie him to a chair? As almost all comments said, this part was worst than part 1...Not so funny...2*

"Here", SHE said as SHE pointed to HER pussy.

while you jackoff with the other. Great visual, if you're a queer.

.....I guess you're right. You were so excited, you didn't go back and correct the mistakes.

For, it was also disappointing to see it turn into a cum suck and pantie trade. That he also got fucked by Melanie, was for her relief, not out of his desire for her.

A little less than I might have hoped for in that situation......but then I would never allow it in the first place.

Thank you for taking the risk.

What happened to Chuck and Maria?

Another willing cuckold with his brains in his cock end. no further comment.

Not a bad story but not sure where the new girl came from? First part there was Maria and second part Maria was gone and then Monique was there. Not sure who she was.