Nerdly Yours

NERDLY YOURS

DB#8

Edited by: Pat

Just a male fantasy.

****

CHAPTER 1

Daniel and Yaron were standing in a dark corner of a well-known hookup nightclub called 'Lustful Desires', trying to absorb the atmosphere of the place, meaning they were dateless and too shy to approach a girl. Their clothes and look were completely out of place. They stuck out like a couple of sore thumbs.

Yaron had a T-shirt with the words "Nerd Shrink" printed on the front. Believe it or not, he was a therapist, a great one actually, even when his methods were far from being orthodox. He got his Ph.D. in four years and earned a reputation working with married couples. He was also Daniel's best friend.

"Thanks for coming with me," Yaron said raising his voice. "I know you hate this kind of music."

Daniel didn't reply. He was tall and thin and was wearing sneakers, jeans, and an old T-shirt that read, "you read my shirt, that's enough social interaction for the day" across the front. He didn't like nightclubs, and he hated the music they were playing.

His freshly scrubbed hair was dark brown, and his glasses perched on the end of his nose. He looked more as if he were on his way to a chess club than in a nightclub. He was twenty-five, but he looked like someone who had refused to grow up.

Both men had survived elementary school, puberty, and high school together.

Two young women sitting on stools in the bar took a look at them and giggled. Daniel was certain that they were laughing at them.

Daniel would rather be playing World of Warcraft than being there, but Yaron had dragged him to this club because a DJ he liked was playing that night.

Daniel was looking around, bored. And then he saw her.

It was like watching Sandro Botticelli's The Birth of Venus for the first time. Except that Venus was a brunette and she was wearing a short red dress instead of being naked.

The woman was tall with a hot body, big breasts, well-toned legs, and a long spill of black hair.

Daniel couldn't tear his eyes away from her. He admired the lady in red with his mouth wide open. She was the kind of woman Daniel used to have sex with, in his wet daydreams.

She looked a little lost as if she hadn't found what she was looking for. Daniel wondered what would happen if he went up and introduced himself. Probably she would just stare at him and laugh. Or maybe she would just ignore him and pretend he didn't exist.

"DJ Spinner is doing an exceptional job tonight," Yaron shouted in Daniel's ear.

Daniel rolled his eyes and didn't bother to answer. He hated DJs and trance music. He was more into classic rock, medieval music, and country-rock. His attention was focused on the lady in red. Through the darkness, smoke, and artificial fog, her red dress was shinning out like a ruby.

"Meanwhile," Yaron added, "I wanted to tell you that I'm sleeping with your mom. I thought you should know."

Daniel nodded absent-mindedly. The lady in red had made her way across the dance floor and he lost sight of her. Then, some part of his brain finally registered what Yaron had just said. He faced his friend and shouted, "What?"

Yaron laughed. "Relax. I was just trying to get your attention. Not that your mom isn't a very attractive woman for her age," he added.

Daniel shook his head, murmured something about Oedipus, turned around, and raised himself on tiptoe, trying to see over the crowd. The lady in red had just sat down at a booth.

He suddenly felt paralyzed, doubting about making a move or not. All he could think of were horror scenarios of what might happen if he did.

"Approach anxiety... It had literally happened to every single man on planet Earth. Don't think too much, Daniel. Just do it," Yaron explained reading his best friend's mind as usual. He gave him a gentle push on the back.

"Do or do not. There is no try," Daniel said to himself.

"That works too," Yaron approved.

Daniel took a deep breath and walked towards the booth where the lady in red was sitting. His knees felt weak and his hands were getting sweaty.

Why was he doing this? He really couldn't tell. Probably because he didn't want to go home and feel bad about himself once again. He was tired of regretting things he had not done out of fear. It was time to leave his comfort zone.

He kept walking across the dance floor, mesmerized by her beauty. He was attracted to the lady in red slowly, like a magnet. Maybe she was his polar opposite.

He couldn't tell what it was, apart from the obvious, but something just clicked inside him. A connection. Like he already knew her, or something. He couldn't define that 'something', but he didn't resist it.

CHAPTER 2

"What's your name?"

The woman in red looked up and smiled at the man standing beside her.

"Georgina."

"Such a nice name for a gorgeous lady. I'm Randall." The guy sat at her side without invitation. He was impeccably dressed. "I think I've seen you here before. Can I tempt you to share dessert?"

Georgina rolled her eyes and said nothing. Usually, she wouldn't mind his boldness, but she was tired of playing the same old game. She had stopped having one-night stands more than two years ago when she started chasing a fellow teacher from her school called Steve.

She was thinking about taking root, starting a family, and having kids. However, Steve hooked up with someone else, a newcomer English teacher called Diana. They announced their engagement earlier today. It hurt. It hurt too much to stay at home all by herself.

That was the reason she was here tonight, back playing the old game.

The guy at her side kept trying. "Well, I'm here. What are your other two wishes?"

Georgina sighed. "He's too cocky, too confident. Clearly a player. The kind of guy I should avoid at all costs."

He leaned down placing a hand on her knee. "Are you new in Portland? I could show you around."

"I don't live here, but in a small town. I haven't come to this club in a long while," she took his hand off her knee using two fingers.

Georgina had been in this very same situation more times than she could count. She already knew how the story went. They would dance and rub against each other, while she drank enough alcohol to numb herself. It would be followed by a heavy petting session, and they would end up renting a room in a hotel or going to his place. The next day she would wake in a strange bed with a man whose name she couldn't remember, asking herself: "How the hell did I let this happen again?"

When she was a child, she used to play "Old Maid," a card game consisting of matching up pairs of cards until the loser was left with the only card that had no mate, the old maid card.

And now, here she was, an old maid herself. Granted, in the strict sense of the word she was not old (she was 27) and she was not a maid, but she was still all alone. She had felt alone all her life. Pretty soon she would be the only woman of her age left without a partner in town. Steve was one of the last decent single men left. She would have to pair with Irv, the other gym teacher in Middletown High, and he was a sexist pig. Being around him made her skin crawl.

When she was a teenager, the models she had of older single women were not much more appealing to her than the old maid card. Her high school education was delivered to her almost entirely by spinsters. Like her Junior High Principal. Georgina used to see those ladies as utterly sexless beings. Being a callow teenage girl, she never wondered if they were lonely on Saturday nights.

Now she thought of those teachers with affection and sadness. It was hard to be a woman of a certain age without a partner.

Georgina looked at Randall and said, "I'm not interested. Sorry"

"Look, maybe I came on too strong..." he said with a look of disappointment.

She didn't let him finish, "No, you didn't. Two years ago, you would have been the kind of human dildo I'd be looking for, but I've realized I'm tired of all this. Sorry."

"Maybe next time," the guy said trying to save face. He took a napkin and wrote a number on it. "Here's my number, in case you're in the mood another night."

Georgina nodded but didn't take the napkin. The thing was she had lost all interest in playing this foolish game again. She felt emotionally drained.

"I'm just so tired of being alone. I don't care about looks or money or status. All that can fade over time. What I want is a genuine, kind, and caring man," she wished.

CHAPTER 3

Daniel had stood directly behind the lady in red, and wondered what her life was like.

Was she as lonely as he was? He was not the type to approach a woman. Certainly not in a nightclub. And this woman was so far out of his league he didn't hold much hope that she'd ever want to talk to him. Hell, she didn't even know who he was.

As soon as the man who hit on her left, the lady in red's head dropped, and she let out a soft sigh, Daniel knew what he had to do. He had overheard the short exchange between them. He knew how she was feeling. He gathered all the courage he could muster up and stepped to her.

"Lady? I couldn't help but overhear your conversation with that man. Are you okay?" he stared unblinkingly into her eyes. Daniel's voice was full of care and empathy. "I know how it feels being alone."

His dark brown eyes were curious as they rested on her.

"I'm not okay," Georgina shook her head without saying another word. She was too sad to lie. She felt far from okay. In fact, she felt like she would never be okay again.

Daniel handed Georgina a Star Trek hanky he always carried with him.

She didn't realize she had been crying. She wiped the tears from her eyes and did her best to compose herself. "Thank you. It's not like me to cry like that. At least, not in a public place. I'll be okay, thanks for caring."

Daniel nodded. "Do you mind if I join you?"

Georgina eyed the man and nodded to the seat in front of her. He was obviously a nerd. Harmless. His T-shirt and his look gave him away.

Every man she had met since her breasts grew wanted only one thing from her: to get laid. Most men that approached her were cocky, overconfident, or sleazy, but not this man. He was different.

Georgina had wished for a kind and caring man. She had said that the look didn't matter. And there he was. He wasn't looking to get laid with her, he truly cared for her, and there was no ring on his finger. An endangered species: a decent single man just in front of her. Wish granted.

Someone up there had a wicked sense of humor.

Georgina could tell he was making the effort to look into her eyes instead of staring at her cleavage. His eyes were kind and soft. She decided to give him a chance. It was better than being alone and miserable.

"I know I'm just a stranger, but sometimes talking with someone helps. You can talk to me if you want," Daniel offered.

She nodded.

"I'm Georgina Eastland. I work as a gym teacher in Middletown High. Sorry about the pity party, you caught me at a bad time."

"It's okay. You don't need to apologize. I have my days too. I'm Daniel Cohen. I work as a Computer Support specialist and a coder for different companies. I assist non-IT users who are having computer problems."

"Nice to meet you, Daniel," Georgina extended her hand and gave him a soft smile.

Daniel wiped his sweaty palm on his shirt before taking her small hand into his and giving it a firm handshake.

"I must look awful," Georgina said.

"Nah, you look cute, like a panda. I'm not saying that because you look fat because you don't. You look great actually... but you don't need me telling you this," Daniel sighed and shut his mouth. He talked too much when he was nervous.

Georgina couldn't help but laugh, and Daniel stopped talking. He had never reached so far with a girl. Usually, they said 'Get lost' after he introduced himself.

"You're nice, caring, funny, and easy to talk with. A rare combination."

"Well," Daniel said like he was considering his words with care, "my mom always says, I am incredible."

"I never said incredible." Georgina laughed, and then Daniel laughed, too.

"You're not what I expected," Daniel said taking off his glasses to clean them with a napkin.

"What did you expect me to be like?" Georgina asked with real interest. Her dark eyeliner had dribbled down her cheeks. She took a pack of tissues from her purse, whipped out a handful, and dabbed at the mess on her face.

Daniel swallowed. "Uh, a basilisk? Someone who can get you petrified just looking into her eyes? Scratch that. Stupid reference. No offense"

Georgina laughed, "That's a pickup line I never heard before."

Daniel blushed deeply, "Girls like you usually don't take a second look at guys like me. They blind me with pepper spray when I get too close to them. That happened to me once. Someone played a cruel joke on me saying that a girl was interested in me, and when I approached her, she... " he made the gesture of spraying something on his face. Then he stopped, knowing he was making a fool of himself. "Never mind."

His cheeks were bright red now.

Georgina studied Daniel's face again, suddenly looking at him with new eyes. He was refreshingly honest, and she felt he always meant exactly what he said. With other men, she always felt she had to pretend to be someone else. With Daniel, she could relax and be herself. Her true self. Not the irritable witch or the sexy man-eater she presented to the world.

She leaned forward to look at Daniel, opening her eyes very wide, "Well, I'm taking a second look at you right now. No pepper spray." She showed him her hands.

They both laughed.

Daniel relaxed. His brain had suddenly forgotten all the reasons why this was supposed to be difficult.

"Don't look now, but the brunette girl in front of you thinks you're cute," she whispered.

Daniel looked around and then he caught what she said and glared. "Not funny, lady."

"Good, cause she's not joking. She wants to know if you have a girlfriend."

Daniel looked at her waiting for the laugh. But Georgina was looking at him, waiting for an answer. This third-person talk seemed very close to the role-play games he used to play.

Daniel shrugged, in for a penny... "Tell her I don't have a girlfriend," he said, playing along with Georgina. "She seems to be a nice person too." The role-playing made talking easier.

Georgina smiled, "She doesn't have a boyfriend either. Maybe you should ask her out."

Daniel snorted. "It's not going to happen."

"Why not?" Georgina found herself seized with a sudden, unspecific disappointment. "You don't like her?"

"Oh, I like her too much, but she's out of my league. I'm not rich, famous, or good-looking enough. She will get bored of me very quickly. After our first date, she'll realize I'm not what she's looking for. Then she'll walk away and I'll end up alone and heartbroken. Now I'm just alone."

Georgina could relate to these words. It was exactly what happened to her with Steve except for the dating part. She could understand how liking her could have Daniel wound up to such a pitch of anxiety.

"Look, Georgina, I think I'll better go. I came here with a friend and he's probably looking for me."

Georgina felt a rush of disappointment. She was having a good time, for a moment she had forgotten about Steve and Diana or being alone. She didn't want Daniel to go. "I truly enjoyed our talk, Daniel. Thank you for being such a gentleman. Before you go..." Georgina wrote her name and her number on a napkin. "...the girl that likes you asked me to give you her number just in case you change your mind about asking her out."

Daniel smiled, took the napkin, and said, "Tell her, I'm flattered. Good night, Georgina. I hope you feel better soon."

She shook his hand and said, "Good night, Daniel. I hope to hear from you again."

CHAPTER 4

"I don't believe it," Yaron said stubbornly as Daniel, standing at the curb, tried desperately to hail a cab. "Did you really get the lady in red's number?"

"Why are you so surprised? You pushed me to do it."

"Yeah, but I never thought you would stand a chance with her. I was just pushing you out of your comfort zone."

Daniel waved the napkin with Georgina's number in front of his friend. "Well, I completed my quest and got the grail."

"You just made up a name and a number," Yaron insisted. "Or you imagined the whole thing. There was some strange smell in the air, you know." He made the gesture of smoking weed.

"Nope, it really happened. I talked with her, and if she was a product of my imagination, it was like Daydream 5.0 in 3D, the ultimate experience."

"Well, you did have that stupid expression on your face when you came back," he pushed his friend gently.

"I'm proud of myself. I did it. I talked with her."

"How did you do it? Please share your wisdom with this humble padawan, Master." Yaron made a short bow placing his hands on his chest as if he was praying.

Daniel shrugged. "Being at the right place at the right time, I guess. We got lucky."

"Speak for yourself. I didn't get any hot chick's number."

"I'm talking about the cab, moron," Daniel yanked the taxi door open and slid onto the plastic-covered back seat. Yaron followed, slammed the cab door shut behind him, and the taxi took off into the night.

***

"Is this Daniel Cohen?" The faked female voice on the other end of the phone sounded familiar, though not immediately identifiable.

Daniel answered, "Yes? How can I assist you?"

"I'm the chick in red you met Saturday night at the nightclub. I'm very hot right now and I was hoping you were free to help me with my vaginal fever..."

"Yaron! You jerk!" Daniel held the phone away from his ear as his friend cracked up laughing. "This is so not funny!"

"Sure it is. You just don't see the humor."

"Troll," Daniel sighed, leaning up against the back of his chair.

When Yaron stopped laughing, Daniel went on.

"My mom freaked out that we were back so late. I made her worry, blah, blah, blah. I am going to send her to the grave," Daniel said, mimicking his mother's precise phrasing with only a slight twinge of guilt.

"Jewish mothers are loud and domineering by definition. You're twenty-five, Daniel. You need to stand up to her. You make enough money to have your own place."

"Yeah, well, it's easier to live here if you don't mind the occasional nagging. She cooks for me, does my laundry, and keeps the apartment clean. Besides I'm saving a lot of money for the future."

"So, are you grounded?" Yaron cracked a loud laugh.

"Hey, I'm twenty-five, remember? She can't ground me. All she can do is make me feel guilty and I'm immune to that already."

"Okay, big man. So, have you called her?" Yaron asked.

Daniel decided to play dumb. "Called who?"

"Ha, ha, nice try. You know who I'm talking about, the lady in red."

"Nah, I haven't called her."

"Why not? It's been three days. That's usually the next step when you get a chick's number."

"Because some things are better left as a fantasy. It was a perfect moment in my life. I talked with a hot girl and didn't get slapped or humiliated. If I call her I'm going to ruin the memory of it. She was probably a bit tipsy or depressed, or both, and I just happened to be there. Even if she agrees to go out with me, she might actually find out that in the daylight I'm not the person she thought I was. In any case, I plan to save myself the heartache and the disappointment."

"I think you're just a coward. Yeah, she won the genetic lottery and she looks great in a sexy dress, but that's it. If you tell yourself that you're not good enough for her, then it will quickly become a self-fulfilling prophecy."