Never Have I Ever

Sasha: You okay? You're looking at it like you lost something..

Derek: Yeah...yeah...I'm good...just taking it all in. I had an epiphany the other day, I spend so much of my life on autopilot, living upstairs in my head, I don't process life in real-time enough, and moments....they seem to pass me by...just trying to practice mindfulness.

Sasha: Whatever you want to do, I want to do. We can go back in....or we can come back tomorrow....the creek...or river...or whatever the eggheads want to call it isn't going anywhere...and neither are we for a few days....don't fret...we'll be getting wet again.

Her innuendo unshackled him, he let go of what he felt was a missed opportunity to seize the real reason he had come--

Derek: Four flashlights and we didn't bring a single one.

Sasha: Hey, you asked about the whiskey, which is like, way more important than being able to see where we're going in a place we've never been in the middle of the night..

Derek: You have such a way with words....you always know the right thing to say to make my cheeks hurt...

Sasha: Stick with me kid, we're going places..

Derek: I surely will, there's no one else I'd rather be up here with..

They had started making their way back, but his words hung heavy in the air like a fog, they froze once again in place as the line drilled into Sasha's closest ear, never leaving out of the other. She knew the sentiment like a dear friend, and the ethereal embrace of hearing it out loud from Derek caused her to sink into herself, repeatedly, she spun the moment when her husband agreed to let her go over and over until she had to shake herself back into her current reality as not to get caught in the net of getting what her heart desired--

Sasha: I don't doubt you, but do you really mean that?

Derek: Yes. (Tapping on his chest over his heart) That comes from here. Do you feel the same as I do?

Sasha: (Singing) Do I wanna know, if this feeling flows both ways....

Derek: Haha, what's that?

Sasha: What?! Arctic Monkeys? Are you serious?

Derek: Oh, yeah, yeah, I've heard of them...

Sasha: Only heard of them....ugh....there it is...the other shoe finally dropped with you....Alex fucking Turner? I mean, he's only my biggest crush ever.....but okay...

Derek: We can listen to them when we get back....spark a few cigars....fill our glasses...and you can sing to me....

Sasha: Fuck...you just described everything I want in the world...do you have any more pot, by chance?

Derek: Come on, this is me we're talking about....of course I do...

Sasha: I do love a man that comes prepared...

Derek: Be careful with that...

Sasha: With what?

For once, she actually wasn't sure what he meant. Several responses surfed through him, but he settled on--

Derek: Getting too faded....you know...overindulgence. I know we're both hedonists at heart...cigars, whiskey, weed...all the finer things....just don't want us getting too rocked tonight, we'll hate ourselves tomorrow...

Sasha: You're such a dad...

Derek: You know, I prefer to be called Daddy...

Sasha: (Wagging her finger) Watch yourself, I'll tell on you..

Derek: If you did, I'd be forced to snitch as well, I'm sure Cara would love to hear about all the things you've been saying about her tonight...

Sasha: (Crossing her arms, sassy) And just what bullshit are you cooking up? I haven't said a thing other...other than copping to the hot tub skinny-dip fantasy that I have..

Derek: Well, you see, it's just you, me, and the trees....my word against yours...

Sasha put on a pout, despite the hallmark smile she just couldn't hide around Derek. His voice had no sooner trailed off when an unidentifiable noise came echoing through the branches and bounced off of the bark. They both turned their heads in the direction from which it came, and Sasha practically jumped into his arms--

Sasha: What the hell was that?

Derek: It sounded like a...

Sasha: Like a what?

Derek: I don't know, but I think that's our cue..

They bolted off into the night, only half sure that they were even heading in the right direction. Fight or flight got the better of them, but when they came to their senses, they ran parallel to each other while they held each other's hands very tightly. As they climbed in elevation, their frenetic energy propelled them at an unholy rate, they dodged trees and boulders at the last second, after all, they could only see a few feet in front of their faces. Sasha's foot slipped as they tried to hop over a log, and she skinned her knee in the process--

Sasha: Agh. Shit, that stings like a mother...

Derek: Are you okay? How bad is it?

Sasha hopped up and dusted her shoulders off, playing it off as if her knee wasn't bleeding--

Sasha: I'm fine, it's just a flesh wound.....Monty Python? Come on! Really?!

Derek took a knee of his own to observe it--

Derek: Yeah, I think you'll live...and yes, I get the reference. (Looking behind them) Whatever that was, I think we put enough distance between us. I'm glad you heard it too, otherwise, I'd think I was going crazy.

Sasha: No, there was something out there....but yeah, we're good now...I just need a drink..

Derek: And a stogie...

Sasha: And another joint...

Derek: Are you able to walk? Do you wanna put your arm around me? I mean, around my shoulder so I can help you..

Sasha: Yeah, that would be great...just to keep the weight off it..

There was plenty of earth between them and the sanctity of their tent. Derek grabbed her by the wrist in a disarming way, flinging it around his neck. She kissed him softly on the cheek, it was so quick that he only clocked it long after it was over, but he figured, or more like he hoped, it wouldn't be the only one of the night, and his other set of fingers were crossed that it wouldn't be in the same spot either--

Derek: Keep your mind off the distance, and keep your mind on what awaits us..

Sasha: You mean being in a tent alone with you?

Derek: I wonder if the boys have passed out yet.

Sasha: Probably, how long do you think we were gone?

Derek: 30, maybe 45 minutes?

Sasha: Sounds about right..

Derek: The way they were running around tonight, I doubt that they make it through a movie without snoozing.

Sasha: We'll check on them when we get back, you know, just to make sure they're not staying up too late.

Derek: Exactly, we can't be having that...

Sasha leaned on him unnecessarily, but Derek surely didn't mind. His rogue hand found a home on her waist, and she didn't seem to mind either. It had been much easier going down than it was to boomerang back to the top, but they marched to the tune of their bad habits without a care in the world--

Sasha: Hey! I can see the glow of the fire.

Derek: I can taste the bourbon now.

Begrudgingly, they gave up the intimate act as they came into the danger zone of being seen by their offspring, they didn't want them to worry, it was an ambiguous concern that they decided was best left beyond the aura of the open flames. Sasha had a minor alteration to her gait, but it was practically unnoticeable as they both snuck over to the boys' tent to spy on their silhouettes. Up close yet still at a distance, they waited silently for any signs of movement inside.

The faint noise of a movie's score and unintelligible dialogue tried to permeate through the fabric of their tent, but by the time it reached their parents' ears, the only thing they could make of it was that their kids had in fact been doing as they said. As the shadows hide the finer features of their faces from one another, Derek & Sasha exchanged pensive glances, hoping the other would make a definitive decision on the status of their children's slumber--

Sasha: I think they're asleep...

Derek: How do you know?

Sasha: I don't, that's why I said I think...

Derek: Is it worth risking it to peek in on them?

Sasha: I don't know...it could backfire and you could wake them up...

Derek: Well...do we throw a rock or something?

Sasha: There's no way they're being that quiet....you were a boy once..

Her logic wasn't airtight, but it was enough to get him back to their tent. They tip-toed past the fire en route to HQ, doing their best not to step on any twigs in the process. Derek held the flap back so Sasha could get inside without much effort. She crashed onto her sleeping bag, once again turning her attention to her knee, which equated to essentially staring at it and cursing politely. He follows right behind her, immediately zipping their 'door' up to ensure privacy. Before pouring them a drink, he decided to play doctor along with Sasha--

Derek: What's the diagnosis? Are we going to have to amputate it?

Sasha: Nothing a little attention can't fix.

Derek: Stay right there, I got something for it.

Derek retrieved his first aid kit from his sack, he plucked out a bandage and a small tube of ointment. He blew on it first to get the dust off, but also partially for the show of it. Sasha idled obediently as he fixed her up, he was done in no time, and though unnecessary, it played out as a tender moment between them--

Sasha: Thank you, Dr. Derek.

Derek: Don't thank me yet, just wait until you get the bill.

Sasha: Maybe we could settle it right here, just tell me what I owe..

Their pent-up frustrations brought them within one second of weakness of pressing their lips together. The galvanizing feeling of love within the confines of mortality struck like a bolt of lightning within them, unfortunately for their primitive ambitions, it had turned into thunder by the time either of them was ready to take things into the deep end. Derek pinched his mouth close as he weighed the gravity of what he wanted to say, for years he had yearned to know what Sasha's kisses tasted like, but ultimately he tossed the hot potato back at her without knowing if it would be thrown at him again--

Derek: You owe me two glasses and that bottle of whiskey..

She was a bit deflated, but she understood, and she also knew that the night was still young as far as she was concerned--

Sasha: Aye-aye captain. Coming right up.

Sasha handed him their glasses from earlier, followed by the bottle after she took the top off preemptively. Derek turned the bottom half of the glasses amber before he handed one back to her. After setting the whiskey off to the side, they clang their liquor together before burning their tongues--

Sasha: Whew! I don't remember it being that strong.

Derek: You want some ice to dilute it?

Sasha: What? We have ice?

He snickered as he gave her the 'come on' look. It took her a beat to 'get it', and when she did, she gave him a gentle punch to his non-drinking arm--

Sasha: I fall right into your traps every time..

Derek: What can I say, I'm a smooth operator..

Sasha: You're smooth alright....smoother than this bourbon.

Derek: A stick would take the edge off, the tobacco will lightly coat your tongue and it actually adds a hint of flavor to the bourbon.

Sasha: You want to sit out by the fire so we don't turn the tent into Sleepy Hollow?

Derek: Nah, I'll just open the flap, it'll be fine.

Derek produced his humidor from his backpack, his hand disappeared inside of it as Sasha survived another sip, and when it came out, it had two thick cigars in its clutches. In gentleman fashion, he lit hers in his mouth, passing it to her and placing it between her lips as soon as the tip was a lurid orange circle. Before she could send off her first puff to the heavens, his stick was on fire as well.

Sasha let a cloud of grey haze seep through her teeth and out of her nostrils like a dragon. Derek sucked on the end of his Patel, filling his mouth with incinerated tobacco. He matched her pace as he held onto his smoke as long as he could, but when it was gone, he ashed the end, took an elongated sip of his drink, looked her right in the eyes and said--

Derek: So, are you going first or am I?

Sasha: You mean the game?

Derek: Yes, I mean the game.

Sasha: Say it out loud, or it isn't real.

Derek: Fair enough...Sasha....Truth....or Dare?

Sasha: Well...you already got a dare out of me..

Derek: Hopefully not the only one of the night...

Sasha: Absolutely not...but...the truth has a certain flavor that I'm craving on the tip of my tongue right now....so, truth it is..

Derek: Tell me about your threesome...

Sasha took a sip to let her mind mill a bit before she answered--

Sasha: How did I know that's what you were going to ask me..

Derek: Really? You knew?

Sasha: (Almost spits out her drink) Haha...no, silly...I had no idea...

Derek: I guess I'm just susceptible to being extra gullible with you...

Sasha: I've noticed...I might just have to use that to my advantage..

Derek: You're telling me you haven't already?

Sasha: (Winks, sips) Maybe...

Derek: Well now I feel like you're just ducking the question...

Sasha: Oh, you couldn't be more wrong....before I answer your question, I have one of my own..

Derek: I don't think that's how the game works..

Sasha: When have we ever let the rules hold us back..

Nefarious sparks flew between them, each had a glimmer in their eye that belayed that they wanted to tug on the thread that Sasha had exposed, but they kept their hands metaphorically in their pockets as they chose to puff their cigars instead--

Derek: So, what's your question?

Sasha: (Blows smoke) You asked me to describe my threesome...but you didn't specify which one...

Derek: Oh shit, no way....when you briefly mentioned it, you made it sound like a one-time thing...

Sasha: Eh, maybe that's because Phil was around...and I never told him about the other one..

Derek: Hm...that tells me it was with someone he wouldn't approve of....or was it because it was after you started dating..

Sasha: Neither...I didn't tell him because of the dynamic..

Derek: I'm not sure I follow..

Sasha: (Sighs) Well...he knows about the one I had with the couple...Gabby & Eli...but he doesn't know about the one with Darren & Ryan..

Derek: Ah...I've met male and female Ryans...but...I'm going to assume in this case, this Ryan pees standing up...

Sasha: You would be correct....so...decisions...decisions...because I'm only spilling one bowl of beans..

Derek: Damn...I have to say...that caught me off guard a bit...I'm going to have to go with Gabby & Eli...the other one, I might feel some kind of way about that...don't want to risk it..

Sasha: Oh? Why would me being with two guys make you feel something that you don't want to feel?

Derek hid behind an elongated sip and took another inch off of his cigar before he answered--

Derek: I'm already envious of your husband, I don't need to add two more names to the list, and for what it's worth, I understand why you haven't mentioned it to Phil.

Sasha: Not like he'd let me tell the story anyway, you saw how he acted when I started to talk about the time with Gabby & Eli, and honestly, it wasn't even really a threesome...it was mostly me and Gabby having fun, Eli was kind of just along for the ride..he was the type that preferred to watch.

Derek: Well then, tell me about your time with Gabby while Eli watched..

Sasha: My cigar went out.

Derek: Let me get that for you..

Derek used the tip of his stick to reignite hers, handing it back to her along with his undivided attention--

Derek: You were saying..

Sasha: So, I met Gabby in college, she was the first person I really hit it off with. She was dating Eli at the time, and the three of us hung out a lot, so I got really close with both of them. I was going into my junior year, and I had done...a few wild things off my bucket list...but one of the things that I hadn't done that I promised myself that I would do before I graduated was, I wanted to hook up with another girl. Well, Gabby threw a hotel party for her 21 ^st birthday, we all pooled our money and we rented out the penthouse suite. Around 2 o'clock, everyone else had left, and it was just the three of us, and we were all pretty toasty...and really, really high. So I'm passing a bottle back and forth with Gabby, when all of a sudden, Eli brings out a massage table, it looked like a, like a big briefcase, and he unfolded it in the middle of the room. Gabby strips down, butt-ass naked, and climbs up on the table...well, Eli starts rubbing her down with massage oil, she's starting to get all shiny and she starts moaning lightly as his hands start getting further and further inside of her thighs. Eventually, he kind of waves me over and squirts oil onto my hands...so we start rubbing Gabby down together..and she's been on her stomach the whole time..but as so as I start putting my hands on her, she flips over without saying anything, and her tits are ridiculously nice...they were super perky and symmetrical...and I try not to look, but it's either that or her pussy, and like, I've had a crush on her for years, but I valued her more as a friend than a lover so I never acted on it...but we just keep running our hands all over her, we even switch, like, I go down to her lower half and Eli goes up top....he starts going to town on her tits, and I'm already moist, but the sight just puts me over the edge and the next thing I know, my panties are soaked because Gabby is starting to moan really loudly... and...I just fucking go for it..I push my fingers into her clit, and she really responds to it, and after that, it was off to the races...I started going down on her, and she started sucking Eli....he played with her tits and they made out...but then he kind of went off and sat on the bed...and he watched us for the next three hours..

Derek: What kinds of things did you do with Gabby..

Sasha: Fingered her, ate her out, sucked and licked on her nipples, I left hickeys on her boobs, she fingered me, she licked me, better than I had been licked by a guy at the time..