Never Have I Ever

Derek: Has that changed since then?

Sasha: Maybe. But then again, maybe it hasn't..

Derek: Was it a one-time thing, you and Gabby?

Sasha: We'd make out sometimes when we got drunk or stoned, but we never did anything like that again. There were half-baked attempts, but nothing ever really metalized.

Derek: Have you thought about doing anything like that since you and Phil got serious?

Sasha: Like what specifically, a threesome? Or me and another woman?

Derek: Either....both...

Sasha: Haha...you're dragging this out way longer than the allotted question...I believe it is my turn to put your butt on the hot seat....so Derek....truth....(puffs a cloud of smoke that gently drifts right into his face)...or dare?

Derek: Let me taste this flavor of truth that you're raving about...

Sasha: So...the original plan was for all four of us to come, you, me, Phil, Cara....when they both declined, I saw you kind of light up...what was that about...

Derek: I lit up when they said they'd rather hang back? I think I was just excited that we were still going...like I understand why they didn't come...but I thought it would be a great trip, and I mean, obviously, I was glad that you were coming...

Sasha: So it had nothing to do with the fact that we'd be alone together like this?

Derek: How am I supposed to answer that..

Sasha: Truthfully..

Her big lips cracked into a playful grin, and as she fluttered her lashes at an unnatural pace, the sparkle returned in her eyes, despite the shelter between her face and the stars. They always had their vices to fall back on, and neither of them missed an opportunity to take a long quiet moment at the cost of a sip of whiskey or a drag of their cigar. Luckily, their hedonism was exclusively mutual, they shared not only in the particulars and how they made them feel, but the act of the indulgence of bad habits itself was a major component in their consumption. By this point in the night, they had become vessels of living hard and fast, and when their haze of having a good time was combined with an uncanny rapport between a man and a woman with identical fascinations, it felt as if a fuse had been lit by the ghosts of all their past memories of what could have been.

Derek's glass wound up empty before he had collected all of his thoughts, his intermission hung heavy on his cigar that made him more lightheaded than reassured, and as he heard the clock winding down on his ability to stall, he took the last few seconds he had to spare and looked Sasha over once more. He thought about how no one would be a fool to be surprised that she was in her 30s instead of her 20s, she had aged exceptionally well, and she still carried most of the youth in her appearance that typically faded away as the years started to pile up. From top to bottom, even when she when was dressed down and partially hidden amongst a fog of incinerated tobacco, the mere sight of her earmarked smile made Derek want to say things that might get them both in trouble--

Derek: It had everything to do with us being alone together like this....the elation in the moment, not the trip...but...part of me also wanted it this way from the start..

Sasha: So you do feel it too..

Derek: Feel what..

Sasha: You know what..

Derek: Maybe I do, maybe I don't...why can't you just make it easy on me..

Sasha: Because what's the fun in that? It's the first night...and we're only one round into the game...I still have at least an hour in me...and last I checked, I was the one asking you a question, mister...

Derek: Well, let me change that.....truth or dare, Sasha..

Sasha: Truth....and the truth is, I'm really missing the fire right now..

Derek: Oh, so you want to move the party back outside?

Sasha: That's not what I meant...I meant I'm a bit chilly...and truthfully, I was thinking up ways to keep warm without leaving the tent...

Derek: Oh yeah? And what did you come up with?

Sasha: That I should dare you into doing your best impression of a campfire..

Derek: What if I say truth though?

Sasha: (Sucks on her teeth) Well, knowing that you know what my dare is, I'll have a hard time asking you anything that I want to know, because I'll be stuck on the fact that you chose a bunch of words over putting your arms around me..

Derek: Guess I better say dare then..

Sasha: Yeah, I guess so...

Derek: Dare it is.

Sasha crawled over to him on one arm, she held her glass and cigar masterfully in the other. She got up on him with her back against his chest, she faced the opposite direction on purpose, she knew that too much eye contact would cause her to fumble through her words and increase her chances of slipping up. The heat from his body immediately leaped over to her, even before he got his arms up and around her shoulders. She wore him like a scarf, and while she tried to leave an inch of invisible between them, it didn't work out that way--

Derek: How am I doing?

Sasha: Not too shabby..

Derek: You know what would make this even better..

Sasha: What's that?

Derek: The drumsticks I packed at the bottom of the cooler..

Sasha: Please tell me you're not joking...you know ice cream is my deserted island food..

Derek: I wouldn't play with your emotions like that...I don't want to let go..but I'll be right back..

He wanted more than anything to give her a departing kiss, but he somehow resisted the same urge that had haunted him since the kids had run off to their tent. For any other reason, it would have taken a force of nature to galvanize him to disconnect from a scene that was common in his dreams, but the munchies bit into him hard, and he had bought the treats with Sasha's affinity for ice cream in mind. After he peeled himself off of her, he lumbered over to the cooler with purpose. He plunged his hand right down into the depths of the ice, skipping past ziplocked sandwiches as it landed on the edge of a cardboard box. He pulled it to the surface, and when he lifted it out of the cooler, rogue ice cubes rained down as they failed to hold on. To his horror, he noticed that the top had already been ripped open, and when he shoved his hand inside, he felt only one drumstick--

Derek: Goddamn it.

Sasha: What? What's wrong?

Derek: The boys already got into them...there's only one left..it's a box of four...one of them had the audacity to eat two...you can have the last one...

Sasha: It's not a big deal, we can split it..

Derek: One really isn't enough to share...

Sasha: We'll make it work...I'll take a bite, and then you take a bite...kickball style..

Derek unwrapped it and handed it to Sasha intact, she took a chunk out of the top and appeared as if she was having an orgasm--

Sasha: Oh my god...I know I'm high but...that might be the best thing I've ever put in my mouth..

Derek: I feel guilty taking it away from you now..

Sasha: No, please, hurry up and take a bite while there's some of it left...I'm actually glad that they got to them first...I would have eaten the whole box..

Derek took his turn, he filled his mouth with vanilla ice cream, chocolate shell, and shredded peanuts before he quickly handed it back to Sasha--

Derek: Oh man...have they always been that good? Fuck.

He wrapped himself around her once more, begrudgingly handing the cone back to her--

Sasha: I wonder which one it was..

Derek: That ate two?

Sasha: What if they split the third....although knowing boys...there's no way that's how it went down..

Derek: Guess we'll find out in the morning...I wonder if they'll confess...or maybe we'll have to find interesting ways to make them talk...

Sasha: I'd tell anybody anything to get another one of these...

Derek: The rest is yours....I don't want another bite, the flavor has almost left my mouth and I want to forget...

Sasha: I'm being so bad....we just had smores a couple of hours ago...

Derek: You'll burn it off on the hike tomorrow...and if that's the worst thing you do this weekend, I'd say you're in good shape..

Sasha: I guess it depends on what kind of come up along the way...I wasn't expecting too much moral dilemma...but maybe I was just being naive..

Derek: You never know what's going to happen in the mountains...I think the same reason that so many people come up here is the same reason so many people stay away..

Sasha: What do you mean?

Derek: There's just something about getting away, from home, from civilization, from people...you just.. feel differently up here, your sensibilities are different, how you perceive your reality is different...I'm always able to clear my head whenever I get out in nature..it makes you see things that are always there, but for some reason, they need to be brought to your attention for you to really notice..

Sasha: I see..anything like that in particular on this trip so far?

His grip tightened around her, and she didn't mind in the least. He bore down on her both with his body weight and his words, and she waited with a head full of guessing--

Derek: Yes. I've had a few realizations already, at various moments..

Sasha: Penny for your thoughts?

Derek: Okay...let's see it..

Sasha: You really want me to go dig a frickin penny out of my bag before you tell me...

Derek: A deal is a deal..

Sasha huffed as she went to lunge forward out of his clutches, but when she tried to fulfill his request, he held her in place as he held back his laughter--

Derek: You're too easy...you take everything so literally..

Sasha: I never know with you! One minute it's from the heart and the next you're pulling my leg..

Derek: Always keep em guessing..

Sasha: You have kept me guessing since I met you..

Derek: What's that supposed to mean?

Sasha: That you're confusing...

Derek: Just because I'm... sophisticated, it doesn't mean that I'm being cagey on purpose..

Sasha: Sophisticated? More like complex.

Derek: I thought you wanted to take the long road home?

Sasha: I do...but every now and then, a pit stop wouldn't hurt..

Derek: Tell me what you had in mind...

His face drifted slowly towards hers, while she remained in place, she didn't pull away. Their lips were so close together that they felt each other exhaling, but somehow, they walked right up to the line without stepping over it--

Sasha: I've got a better idea...

Derek: Okay then, lay it on me...

Sasha: Truth or Dare could get us where we want to be very quickly...but you're right, I do want to take the scenic route...so I propose we put T or D on the shelf for a minute, and instead let's stick three fingers in the air...

Derek: Oooh, you're going with a classic...the last time I played never have I ever...hmmm...I think Clinton was still in office...

Sasha: I guess it's a good thing that the game hasn't changed at all...

Derek: What are you talking about...nothing ever stays the same...

Sasha: Maybe the players have changed, but the mechanics haven't budged a bit.

Derek: So before we start, and I inevitably win--

Sasha: Hey! You don't know that! You've probably done way more crazy shit than I have.

Derek: That's probably true, but I know enough of your vices to put you down first...

Sasha: I wouldn't be so sure...and not to mention, I know a thing or two about you too, mister.

Derek: Well then...before we get started...what are the stakes?

Sasha: Winner gets to dare the other person to do something and they absolutely can't say no...

Derek: That's ballsy...are you sure you're ready to shake on that?

Sasha: Pffft, damn right I'll shake on it, why do you think I Phil it up that way? You're going down, Derek...

Derek: I must be in trouble, you're saying my name...alright, let's make it official...before you chicken out.

He extended his hand a few inches so that she could meet it with her own. His hand swallowed hers whole as he wrapped her fingers with his own. They held hands for a moment before shaking, their faces got close enough to kiss, but they shook off the spell of human nature just before they spoiled the plot--

Sasha: So, how do we determine who goes first? It could be a major advantage.

Derek: Rock, paper, scissors?

Sasha: Okay, but we're doing best two out of three.

Derek & Sasha: Rock, paper, scissors, shoot!

Derek's paper covered Sasha's rock--

Derek & Sasha: Rock, paper, scissors, shoot!

Sasha's rock broke Derek's scissors--

Derek & Sasha: Rock, paper, scissors, shoot!

Derek's paper canceled out Sasha's paper.

Derek & Sasha: Rock, paper, scissors, shoot!

Derek's scissors cut Sasha's paper--

Derek: Yes! Got em.

Sasha: That's not a good sign...

Derek: It's really all just luck..there's no strategy to rock, paper, scissors..

Sasha: You're just saying that because you won...

Derek: Maybe...but now I'm saying...never have I ever....been to a nudist beach.

Sasha puts a finger down--

Sasha: I'm never telling you anything again!

Derek: Oh come on, there is a lot worse that I could have said...I let you off easy...

Sasha: Really? You come out swinging like that and you want me to thank you for being merciful? You know what? Don't hold back...in fact...I dare you to do your worst...

Derek: Slap me with a glove why don't you..

Sasha: Wait right here while I go get a glove out of my bag.

Sasha giggled in her infectious way, it spread almost instantly to Derek, and he brought her in close again as he placed her head on his chest so that she could listen to his heart. Like they did every time things got steamy, they stopped themselves right before the fun part and combed over it with whatever they were doing before--

Derek: Your turn...go ahead...put me on blast...

Sasha: Hmm..nah...I'm going to be sporty...and we could just knock each other out tit-for-tat...but I'm going to take the opportunity to get some more dirt on you...so, Derek...never have I ever...paid for a sexual favor...lap dances at the strip club don't...

He looked at her with red hands as he slowly cranked a finger back down into his palm. Sasha involuntarily gasped at the admission, though there wasn't any guilt. Derek wore a wry smile as he awaited the expected, he could have said her next words out loud if he wanted to steal her thunder, but he let her have it, just like he was going to let her have the lightning that followed--

Sasha: No, freaking, way...are you fucking with me?

Derek: Nope, afraid I'm not.

Sasha: Dude! You HAVE to tell me the details...

Derek: Which time?

Sasha: Wait...this happened more than once?!

Derek: Maybe.

Sasha's face lit up with emotion as her mouth hung open, she had trouble believing that his words were true, but he never broke out of his villainous poise, and she knew by now to take him at face value unless he said otherwise--

Sasha: Am I going to have to beat it out of you? Come on, you know your secrets are safe with me...I told you about not just one, but two threesomes! Two whole times that I did something that I can't even tell my husband about, two of the most wicked sexual adventures I've ever experienced, and now you're going to clam up when I ask you about paying for the coochie? I mean, it was a woman, right?

Derek: Either that or the world's most convincing crossdresser...and we didn't actually have sex....(sips the last sip of his bourbon)...ahhh...it was just a blowjob...

Sasha: How much did you pay?

Derek: Take a guess...

Sasha: I don't know...I've never done anything like that...I've never even met anyone who did something like that...and I don't mean it in a judgmental way...I just don't even have a ballpark guess..

Derek: Well, what would you charge?

Sasha: Ha, ha, very funny...

Derek: No, seriously, what would you charge?

Sasha: I guess it depends...are they attractive?

Derek: Sure..

Sasha: Then why do they have to pay for it?

Derek: I paid for it...are you saying I'm not attractive?

Sasha: No, of course not...you know that I think you are..

Derek: I never get tired of hearing you say it though...but back to the matter at hand, you said that you don't know of anyone else who has ever paid for a sexual act, except me now....you say you find me attractive, the man in your hypothetical scenario is attractive, attractive men still pay for sexual favors....so, how much are you charging to get on your knees and...you know...slob on a knob...

Sasha: So he's attractive...and he has money...

Derek: I didn't say all that...just because he's paying for sex, doesn't mean he has money...

Sasha: Well if he doesn't have money, why is he using money that he doesn't have on something like getting a blowjob?

Derek: If you didn't have money, you'd be stressed right? (She nods) Well, what alleviates stress better than an orgasm?

Sasha: Not much...

Derek: Well, this man, the man in your scenario, he could spend that money on alcohol, drugs, whatever...but if he paid what I paid...let's just so that there is no better bang for his buck than getting a blowjob from you...even under the best of circumstances, the point still remains...

Sasha: So....how much did you pay?

Derek: The onus is now on you and your price...

Sasha: I asked the question and you're the one that put a finger down...I get my answer first.

Derek: See, here's the problem with that...my number is fixed, it happened, it's solidified forever...my number will not change, regardless of whatever number you say. However, if I go first, my number may affect what you say...you might think I overpaid, underpaid, or paid properly...so because of this undeniable fact that my fact may shift yours to fiction, even if it's subconsciously and not purposely, I won't get a natural answer out of you....so I must insist that you go first...