Never Have I Ever

Sasha: Well, shit....when you put it like that...hmm...he's good-looking...poor...how big is his dick?

Derek: That would really impact how much you'd charge?

Sasha: Yeah, duh. It makes sooo much difference...

Derek: In what way...is it like postage, the more cock you have to handle, the more you charge...or is it the opposite, if you have to suffer through a (wiggles his pinky), then it costs extra for your trouble?

Sasha: Both...there's a range...like... if the guy is say... (she places her hands about 7'' apart)...from this... (she moves them to about 9'') to this...then you're in the Goldilocks range, you get a discount...if you're (she move them to 10'')....then...fuck that, man...there is such a thing as too much..

Derek: And do you know that as a fact..

Sasha: Wait your turn, perv...I'm demonstrating how size affects my rate...

Derek: I will circle back to that...carry on...

Sasha: Like I was saying...(she moves her hands to 5'')..if you're this or under...(scoffs)...you have to pay extra...

Derek: Luckily me....seems like I'm in the 'just right' contingent...

Sasha: I don't know...it was pretty dark down there...I couldn't really get a good look...

Derek: I think the lighting in here is a lot better..

Sasha: Watch yourself...I don't think you can afford this...

Derek: Even with the discount?

Sasha: Even with the discount...

Derek: (Snaps his fingers) Well damn, guess I packed all that cold hard cash for nothing...can you humor me at least? Let me window shop...

Sasha: So...the price would be...$1,000...

Derek: Is that all?

Sasha: Isn't that a lot? I mean remember talking to the strippers, they said they make that in a night...

Derek: For you? That's cheap. I've got a grand earmarked for such occasions..

Sasha: Oh, do you now? Is that because that's how much you paid for yours?

Derek: Not even close...

Sasha: $500?

Derek: For a blowjob? Please.

Sasha: $200?

He pointed his finger down emphatically as he absconded to get the weed so that he could roll another joint--

Sasha: Oh my god...was she some back alley Sally?

Derek: I've never heard that term before...but no...she was an art student, actually.

Sasha: Derek! Ugh...just tell me the story already and stop spoon-feeding me crumbs of information..

Derek: Okay, okay...do you want to hear it before or after I roll us another fatty?

Sasha: During...you can multitask..

Derek: Ooookay, but if it's wonky, I'm laying the blame at your feet...

Sasha: Maybe I'll start charging for that too...people are into feet...(major shift in her facial expression)...Derek...please don't tell me you're into feet...

Derek: I don't know, it'll cost you a finger to find out..

Sasha: I'm not going to ask because I don't want to know..

He lifted one of his legs, bringing his foot toward her face as she ducked to make sure that it missed her. She playfully swatted at him as he ran his tongue up and down on the rolling paper full of shredded marijuana--

Derek: So, I'm out one night...(licks the paper once more for good measure)...and this cute girl with round glasses and green hair bumps into me on the way back to her table...(starts rolling the J)...so she says 'sorry', I say 'no big deal', and she's really cute, and awkward, and I remember that she had these really well-done tattoos...like all of them, and she looked like she was my age, 21, 22, whatever...to skip ahead, I eventually go talk to her after a few drinks, she's alone by now, and we wind up hanging out until damn near last call. So the lights come on, yada-yada-yada, and I ask her, you know, what are you looking for? Well, she mentioned right away that she was an art student, and she did all kinds of mediums...and she was looking for someone to support her art, which, what she really meant was, I've been running a game on you, buy my art, you drunk, horny guy...so, I tell her, I'm a broke college student, I don't have the money to buy art...I mean, at this point, my entire décor is nothing but movie posters...so she says...well...can you help me out some other way? I knew what she meant...but just in case, I wanted to hear her say it out loud...so we go outside to my car, shared a poorly-rolled J I had tucked into my jacket pocket, and she said that she would suck me for $50...and god damn it...wouldn't you know it...I had exactly $50 in my wallet...so we got in my car, we went to the edge of some huge parking lot, and she sucked me off in the backseat...I gave her the $50, dropped her off, and never heard from her again.

Sasha: I...I don't even know what to say....holy shit! That's so crazy...but man, you know how to tell a story...how did it feel after?

Derek: I mean, it was a pretty damn good blowjob from what I remember...

Sasha: No...I mean like, paying for sex...I consider oral sex to be sex...

Derek: It is in the name...hmm...how did I feel...honestly, it was kind of hot, not going to lie..

Sasha: What was hot about it? Like the control, or that you got what you wanted without too much effort and then you just kind of got rid of her?

Derek: Um...I guess I just felt like a baller, ya know? I didn't need to pay for it, but I did because I could..even though that was all the money I had to my name...I just didn't care...it was more important to get what I wanted...I've kind of always been that way..

Sasha: That makes a lot of sense...were you being facetious about it not being a one-time thing?

Derek: We need to set some parameters on how long the hot seat lasts per question...

Sasha: Oh hush, quit trying to act like you're not eating this up with a spoon...I know you, you love to talk, you love to tell stories, and you love to talk about sexy times and things...

Derek: Guilty as charged...you also just described yourself..

Sasha: Did I now? Well, I can only hope & pray that the next finger leads us to as much uncharted territory...even at my expense..

Derek: It's 2 to 2...I will follow your example and leave the obvious zingers for a state of emergency...so...hmm...never, have I ever...hold on, let me spark this up first...

Both of their glasses were empty, and they were content to leave them as such for the moment. Their cigars had turned into little brown nubs that they carefully placed off to the side. Derek sucked on one end of the finger-sized spliff as the lighter kissed the other, it ignited in a glorious puff of grey haze, and after an indulgent toke, he passed it to Sasha who was now an arm's length away--

Derek: (Coughing) Never have I ever... spied on my significant other...

Sasha: Ugh...like ever? Or do you mean with Phil?

Derek: With Phil...I already know the answer overall, what teenage girl didn't spy on her boyfriend?

Sasha: (Her finger wiggles)...I mean...I could put a finger down...but I don't think it should count...

Derek: Make your case then...I'll decide for you...

Sasha: Okay...so like...he left his laptop open one time, and I needed to Google something and mine was all the way upstairs, packed up, and it would have taken me like 10-20 minutes to get it up and running...so I sat down and pulled up his browser...I started typing in 'www' and my eyes just kind of...landed on it...

Derek: It...what was 'it'? Was it like his porn history or something?

Sasha: Yeah...did I make it that obvious?

Derek: I mean what else could you have possibly seen of value that you wouldn't want to break up with him over...it wasn't an email from an ex or a dating profile...

Sasha: So, yeah...I saw the last thing he watched...and it was kind of out there...so I did a bit of snooping...the reason I don't think it should count is, I didn't purposely go looking for anything, I didn't mean to violate his privacy or--

Derek: But you did...I think that counts...just saying...

Sasha: No-no-no, let me finish...

Derek: Okay...go on...

Sasha: You can never, ever repeat what I'm about to tell you...I'm serious...it would cost us our friendship...

Derek: Nothing leaves the tent...nothing...and I would never jeopardize us...

Sasha: Okay...so...do you know what cuckolding is?

Derek: I've heard of it, yeah...

Sasha: Well...that's what it was...

Derek: Wow...I have so many questions...but the first two are...what did the guy look like? And how did you feel about the, ya know, subject matter?

Sasha: He was a normal-ish-looking guy, honestly...he was the same archetype as you, like, he didn't look exactly like you, but there was definitely a resemblance...and as far as how I felt about it...or feel about it...I don't know...complicated feelings...

Derek: I...don't really know what to say to that...my mind is buzzing...let me collect my thoughts...and put a finger down, that totally counts as spying...

Sasha: Fuck! I've only got one left...and seriously, Derek, you can't tell anyone, not even Cara...

Derek: Cross my heart and all that...

Sasha: So have you collected your thoughts?

Derek: Haha...kind of...things just took a huuuuge left turn...I'm not mad at it, I'll say that.

Sasha: And why is that?

Derek: I'll show you my hand...but now I'm the one asking you to swear to secrecy...

Sasha: Of course...

Derek: To keep it PG-13...let's just say I might have had the same scene floating around in my skull once or twice...maybe not quite the same, but similar.

Sasha: Oh...have you now?

Derek: Maybe...might cost you a finger...or the game...but either way, now that you're on life support, I think we should crank things up a bit...

Sasha: Now the real fun begins...lay it on me...

Derek: Each finger now counts as the prize...put the last one back up. Two to two.

Sasha: Interesting...well, what does the winner get now?

Derek: I mean, I don't know about you, but after two or more genie moments, I'm pretty sure I'll feel like a winner regardless of how it turns out.

Sasha: Touché...so I really have to ask you within the realm of our game? After you just dropped a bomb on me like that?

Derek: Hey, you dropped one first...

Sasha: I...don't think I've ever said touché twice in a row...

Derek: Well, it's your turn, so the next thing you say should start with 'never have I ever'...

Sasha's cheeks almost split open from how wide her smile stretched. It wasn't her usual smile either, it was the one that only Derek was privy to. Her big brown eyes were so dilated that Derek couldn't see any white in them, even after he got as close to her as they had been all night. His face hovered in front of hers as they took turns moving their lips toward the middle. Derek's hand graced her cheek softly as he rubbed it with his thumb, Sasha bit her bottom lip in an inviting way, and this time, Derek didn't back off. Instead, he continued to gravitate closer and closer until they kissed. Sasha let him put it on her at first, but after the deal was broken, she wrapped her arms around the back of his head and kept him in place. It lasted longer than they had planned, and yet, when he finally pulled back, it still felt criminally short. Derek fluttered off of her just enough that he could make out her entire face in his line of sight, Sasha's eyes remained closed as her tongue did a lap around the inside of her mouth as she basked in the intensity of the moment--

Sasha: Wow...

Derek: I hope that was okay...I should have asked...but I just wasn't strong enough this time...all the earlier moments whittled me down...

Sasha: Are you crazy? Did you not feel me kissing you back?

Derek: I did...that's something I've wanted to do for a very, very long time...

Sasha: I thought I was the only one...

Derek: Are you kidding? You really never knew?

Sasha: Knew...knew what?

Derek: That I've had the biggest crush on you...for like, forever...

Sasha: I meeeean...I had suspicions...but I think I just always assumed that was just how you are, flirty, affable, affectionate...

Derek: Haha...maybe so...but not like I am with you...so you had a crush on me too?

Sasha: I don't know...you have to ask the right way...

Derek: Sasha, never have I ever had a crush on you...

Derek proudly retracted a finger, his eyes immediately darted to Sasha's hand with a peace sign, and he waited impatiently for her to do the same. She giggled as both fingers remained--

Derek: Ouch...

Sasha: No, not ouch...you asked the question wrong, silly...you could have kept your finger too...

Derek: You know what I meant...never have I ever had a crush on me...there, is that better?

Sasha placed her hand over her mouth to muzzle her laughter, and her middle fell back into her fist--

Sasha: There you go....honestly, I was expecting you to say 'never have I ever had a crush on myself', I was going to give you so much shit...

Derek: You're laughing but I was sweating over here...I was starting to go back over all the memories and moments, wondering if I misread everything...

Sasha: I said I wanted to kiss you...was that not a big enough hint?

Derek: I figured...but I just wanted to hear you say it...and there are plenty of women that I want to kiss but don't have a crush on...

Sasha: Plenty? Woooow...

Derek: How about you stop giving me such a hard time and kiss me again...

Sasha: If you insist...

Derek: You did put a finger down...

Sasha: I'm not saying it a third time...

They locked lips again, smacking them loudly as they didn't hold back this time. Their tongues made an appearance, and by the time they took a breather, they needed it--

Sasha: You're a really, really good kisser...

Derek: Look who's talking...that didn't really count as my finger, did it?

Sasha: Nah...that one was on the house...so...what is your dare?

Derek: Hmm...I don't want to ask too many questions and spoil the mood...the tension is as thick as steam...and I'm not trying to cut it...

Sasha: If it helps you decide, I could go first...

Derek: What if I wanted to see what $1,000 would get me?

Sasha: I'd say you're in luck...do you think we should check on them first?

Derek: I haven't heard a peep...but I'll keep my antennas up...

Sasha grinned as she took a hair tie off of her wrist and fixed her long black hair into a practical ponytail. Derek tried to hide his excitement, but he did a miserable job of it. He eagerly unbuttoned his pants and slid them down just enough for his rock-hard cock to pop out with a bounce. Sasha looked it over as if she had discovered a new species, she had caught a glimpse of it when they were skinny dipping, but it was far more impressive at close range--

Sasha: I know that water was cold, but god damn...

Derek: I take it you like what you see?

Sasha: I do...very much so...and don't you dare ask what I know you're going to ask?

Derek: What? What are you talking about, I was definitely not going to ask you if it was bigger than his...

Sasha: You are not as clever as you think you are...and I don't care how hard you 'never have I ever me', I'm not going to tell you how you're bigger...

Derek had his next line on the tip of his tongue when Sasha's fingers wrapped around his shaft, and he lost his train of thought like a power outage. She 'wowed' under her breath as she shifted her palm up and down at a slow pace, going all the way to the head of his cock, and then all the way back down to the base. She removed it for a blink and spit into her hand, and she returned it to its rightful place soon thereafter--

Sasha: What do you think she charged for a handjob...

Derek: I don't know and it doesn't matter...because I'm not paying for something I can do myself...

Sasha: Oh...I guess that means I should stop then...

Derek: Only if you replace your hand with your mouth, I mean, that was the dare...

Sasha: So impatient...whatever happened to taking your time...

Derek: Whoever said that didn't have your lips destined for their cock...

Sasha: So you call it a cock too...I always say dick...cock sounds so...not lewd but...I don't know...let me put my tongue to better use that spewing nonsense...

Sasha dive-bombed onto his manhood with a sinister smirk preceding the widening of her mouth. His head passed through the threshold without making contact, but after an inch or two got inside, he felt the embrace of her pillow-esque lips. Sasha kept going until her nose pressed against the skin just above his cock. She looked up at him as he looked down at her--

Derek: Is this really happening?

Sasha almost choked as she laughed with her mouthful, she came off of him as her hand took over stimulation duties once again--

Sasha: Yes, it is...what do you think this is, a figment of your imagination?

Derek: Pinch me just in case...

Sasha gingerly sunk her teeth into the head of his cock--

Derek: Ahh! I said pinch!

Sasha: I am...I'm just using my teeth, you didn't specify...

Derek: I'll be sure to pick my words much more carefully...

Sasha: Don't worry...I'll kiss it...

She kissed his cock all over, slipping her tongue in and out wantonly as she did. Derek 'Mmm'd' all the while, and he never took his gaze off of her. The kisses felt good, but when she went on a little too long, he slid a guiding hand up behind her head and made his desires crystal clear--

Sasha: So impetuous...

Derek: I've been waiting for this for years...I'd say I've been more than patient...

Sasha: You've always got the perfect rebuttal in your pocket...I'd clap for you if my hands weren't so full right now...