Never My Love

"It's probably because I don't know how to talk to girls," I admitted, my face turning red in embarrassment, "Every time I get around a girl, I just clam up. I don't know why it happens, Ashlyn, but it does."

"I don't understand that either," she sweetly told me, "I'm a girl and you don't seem to have any problem taking to me about anything."

"That's true," I replied smiling, realizing that she was right, "I think that maybe it's because you and I are such good friends, and I trust you."

"You don't trust girls your own age?" she asked, as I shook my head, "Why not, Jake?"

"Because I got hurt by this one girl that I really cared about once," I quietly replied, finally admitting the truth, "And I guess I haven't trusted anyone since."

"If anyone understands that one, I do," she almost sadly replied, "Damn it all, Jake; if I could only let go and trust someone, I know that I would be alright in the long run."

"You don't seem to have any problem trusting me, Ash," I told her, "And didn't you tell me a few minutes ago that you met this really hot guy, but that you're also scared of him, too?"

"Aren't we a pair?" she giggled, gently placing her palm on my cheek, "We ought to just date each other, huh?"

"Yeah, we should," I grinned, going along with the joke, "At least we know all of each other's bull shit, and we still trust one another."

"Hmm," Ash playfully purred, "You just gave me a great idea, Jake."

"Oh really," I asked, "What kind of idea are you talking about?"

"Well, I need to think about a few things first," she oddly giggled, "But I'll be sure to let you know how it turns out, okay?"

"Of course, M'lady," I teased, "I await on pins and needles for your gracious reply, dear girl."

"You might be really surprised, cutie," she knowingly giggled, standing up to leave, as the time for us to head our separate ways had arrived, "Be sure to tell your Mom and Dad that I said hello; okay, Jake?"

"I will," I happily grinned, as we left the restaurant after I paid the bill, "They really like you ya know."

"No, I didn't know," she sweetly smiled, "But it makes me very happy to hear that."

By this time we were standing at the curb outside in the parking lot; and right before she got into a cab that had just pulled up, I smiled and said, "Thank you, Ashlyn; I really had a great time tonight, just like I always do when I'm with you."

"Me, too," she sweetly replied, gently squeezing my hand, "We really should do this more often, Jake," and then she did something she'd never done in all the time I'd known her, she leaned over and ever so softly kissed my lips; and before I had the chance to reply, she smiled and then tenderly said, "Good night, handsome. I'll see you soon," then she got into the taxi and sped away, leaving me standing there with a happily contented, borderline stupid, grin on my face.

FOUR DAYS LATER

THANKSGIVING DAY

I woke up at six o'clock that morning, and because I'd begun a regimen of running right after I graduated high school, I took my morning run, which, by that time, I'd gradually worked up to doing five miles. I left the house at seven, and when I returned home at eight fifteen, I discovered a strange car, a 2-door, Hunter Green, Jaguar, XJS, with white leather interior, sitting in our driveway. Nobody that I knew drove a car like that so; you can only imagine my wonderfully pleasant surprise when I walked into my home to discover Dr. Ashlyn Matthews sitting at the kitchen table, drinking coffee with my parents.

"Hi, handsome," she smiled standing up to hug me, and then kissed my cheek, which made my face blush bright red, "Happy Thanksgiving, Jake."

"Oh, my God; Ashlyn," I happily grinned, firmly returning her hug, "What're you doing here?"

"What, do you want me to leave?" she giggled, teasing me, "Your Mom invited me to have Thanksgiving dinner with you and your family. I hope that's alright."

Are you kidding me?" I happily smiled, still hugging her tightly, "That's perfect, absolutely perfect."

Finally I let her go, and then stepping back to look at her while I still held her hands, I smiled and told her, "I thought that you'd either be with your family, or maybe your new boyfriend today."

"My family was killed in a tornado while I was in medical school," she quietly told me, but then after giving Mom a knowing smile, she turned to me and said, "And as far as my new boyfriend is concerned, I'm still in the process of making my mind up about him. Anyway, I called here a couple of days ago to tell your Mom what time you needed to be at the hospital for your final surgery; and afterwards she and I began talking. Then she invited me over for Thanksgiving Dinner so; here I am."

"Oh, man," I happily grinned, "I can't even begin to tell you what this means to me to have you here with us, Ash, I really can't."

"That's very sweet of you, thank you, Jake," she smiled, happy tears making an appearance in the corners of her eyes, "I was going to spend the day in front of the television."

"Not anymore," I proudly replied, placing my arm around her waist, "I'm your boyfriend today, pretty girl."

"Is that right?" she girlishly giggled, "I'm almost seven years older than you are, Jake; and while you're certainly handsome enough to be my boyfriend, I think your parents might object to the difference in our ages, don't you?"

"Why would they object?" I asked, "My Dad is eight years older than my Mom." Then I looked at my mother and asked, "Isn't that right, Mom?"

"Jake," Mom blushed, "Don't you think that you're being way too forward, not to mention extremely presumptuous?"

"No, I don't," I chuckled, "Besides, you heard what Ash just said, and she thinks I'm handsome enough."

"I'll tell you what, Jake," Ashlyn sweetly told me, "Let's just have a good time together today, okay?"

"I agree with her for now," Mom knowingly smiled, "Besides, she's your Doctor right now, and you still have one more surgery to go through, okay?"

"Of course," I smiled, "I'm just glad that she's here, Mom." Then I smiled at Ashlyn and told her, "Still though, I do wish that I was old enough to be your boyfriend, Ash."

"I do, too," she smiled, quickly kissing my cheek, "Because I think you'd make a wonderful boyfriend, sweetheart."

"I have a rather odd request," I asked, "And I want you to at least consider it before you say no, okay Ash."

"Okay, Tiger," she grinned, "What is it?"

"I want you to at think about spending Christmas with us, too, alright?"

"I can't think of anyone that I'd rather spend Christmas with than you, Jake," she sweetly smiled, gently hugging me, "How's that?"

"Perfect," I smiled, gently returning her hug, "Absolutely perfect."

"In the mean time, you just came in from your morning run," Mom chuckled, "Don't you think you need to go take a shower, Mister Stinky?" and needless to say, I went and did just that. Mom and Ashlyn giggling like school girls as I walked away..

~~~~~~

That particular Thanksgiving will always be my favorite memory; because that was the day that I felt like my life had truly begun. Ashlyn sat right next to me at the table, and once we were finished eating, she and I took a walk and had a nice long talk.

~~~~~~

Chapter Three

"You're serious about wishing you were old enough to be my boyfriend," Ashlyn smiled, as we walked hand in hand, "Aren't you, Jake?"

"I know that we don't really know each other very well, and, it's because of a doctor/patient relationship that our friendship began," I softly told her, "But I really mean what I'm about to say here, Ashlyn...You're one of the most beautiful women that I've ever seen; and I know that if I ever had the chance, I'd never hurt you, or let you be hurt by anyone; and I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that I'd try to be the very best boyfriend you've ever had."

She stopped and looked deeply into my eyes for the longest time before she finally spoke. "I believe you with all my heart, Jake," she began, "But you need to know...I mean......you really need to know that we can't even think about dating until you're no longer my patient. Do you understand me?"

"Are you serious?" I incredulously asked with a stupid, boyish grin plastered across my face, "You'd still date me even though I'm almost seven years younger than you are?"

"Oh, you heard what I said," she tenderly smiled, "Yes, I think you'd be the sweetest boyfriend a girl could ever want, or have, but you still didn't answer my question, Jake."

"You think I don't understand the ethics issues involved with Doctors dating their patients?" "I asked, "Of course I understand, Ashlyn, and I wouldn't do anything that would ever jeopardize you, or put your career at risk. You have to believe me."

"I do believe you, Jake," she softly replied, "But before we go any further, there's something else that I want you to know."

"Tell me," I said, expecting her to back out at any second now, "I can take it."

"Alright then, here it is," she quietly replied, "Do you remember me telling you about the guy that I met who I really care for a whole lot, but that I was afraid of him because I didn't want to spoil the beautiful friendship he and I have by letting him know how I felt about him?"

"Of course I remember," I replied, crestfallen now, because I figured that I was going to have to share her with another guy, something I simply would not do, "Let me guess, you two are together now."

"No, we aren't; at least not yet anyway," she sweetly smiled, "I'm waiting until you're not my patient anymore before I make my move."

That was the moment that I suddenly realized that it was me that she'd been speaking of all along, and with a bright smile on my face like a kid on Christmas morning, I looked into her eyes, and excitedly asked her, "It was me...you were talking about me, weren't you?"

"Yeah, genius," she giggled, gently kissing my lips, "It took you long enough to figure it out."

"Ashlyn," I softly breathed, pulling her into my arms, very gently yet very firmly holding her body against mine, "My beautiful Ashlyn."

"You worked your way into my heart when I wasn't looking, Jake," she tenderly smiled, her eyes filling with tears, "So, now that you've got me, all I'll ever ask of you is that you don't hurt me, okay baby?"

"Never, my love," I happily replied, still holding her against me as we began to walk back to my house, "Never ever."

"There's something else I'm very concerned about, too, and it's something that is also going to have to be dealt with before we start dating, Jake," Ashlyn said, looking into my eyes to make certain that I understood what she was telling me, "And that's what your parents are going to have to say about this."

"That's not going to be as big of a problem as you might think," I knowingly grinned.

"Is that right?" she cautiously asked, "Tell me, Jake, why do you say that?"

"Mom invited you to eat Thanksgiving dinner with us, didn't she?" I asked her, as she nodded her head, "Alright then, I want you to leave everything else to me, okay Ash?"

"Okay," she nervously replied, "But I still say that they're going to be upset with me for dating you."

"Nah," I chuckled, "You're going to be very surprised. I promise you."

~~~~~~

The next day I rode with Ashlyn to the hospital with a promise from my Mom and Dad that they would be there the minute I was out of recovery and in my hospital room.

In the moments right before we got into Ashlyn's car, I told my parents of the conversation I'd had Ashlyn the day before; and just as I expected, they took it extremely well.

"I have only one question for you, Ashlyn," Mom told her, "Do you really care for Jake, or is this going to be just a passing thing?"

"I don't know whether or not you believe me, Naomi," Ashlyn sincerely replied, "But I deeply care about Jake, very deeply."

Mom looked into Ashlyn's eyes, standing stone still for a moment, until the look of scrutiny that was initially on her face at the beginning of their conversation had slowly melted into a warm smile. Then she placed one hand upon my shoulder and the other upon Ashlyn's, and with a sweet smile on her face, she looked at me and said, "You know that I've always been able to tell when someone is lying to me, and my heart tells me that Ashlyn cares a lot about you so; you'd better be good to her, okay Jake?"

"You bet, Mom," I smiled, giving her a big hug, "Thank you from the bottom of my heart. I know that my dating Ashlyn is hard for you to understand right now, but I love you for giving us a chance, Mom."

"Oh, I can tell that Ashlyn cares for you, too, sweetheart; and I think that she would be very good not only to you, but for you as well," Mom replied, "I just want you to be sure that you're ready to give Ashlyn the kind of commitment that she's looking for, okay?"

"That's not a problem," I smiled, winking at Ash as I hugged Mom again, "It's not a problem at all."

"You two be careful," Dad smiled, "And don't give Ashlyn a hard time, boy."

"Yes sir," I happily grinned, "I'll see you guys a little later, okay?"

~~~~~~

"You know that this will be your very last surgery," Ashlyn smiled, holding my hand as she walked beside the gurney I was being wheeled into the operating room on, "You'll have a brand new beautiful face when I'm done with you, Jake."

"I trust you," I sleepily smiled, as the medication that the anesthetist had given me earlier began to kick in, "I'll see you when I wake up."

"That's right," she whispered into my ear, "And then after you leave here, we can go on our first official date as boyfriend and girlfriend," and then the last thing I remember before I went under was Ashlyn's dazzling smile as I closed my eyes...

~~~~~~

"Jake, Jake, open your eyes," I heard Ashlyn say; somewhere through the fog I was in when I first awoke from surgery, "Jake, wake up, sweetie."

I opened my eyes to see her angelic face smiling down at me, her stunningly bright blue eyes shining like a brilliant light through the darkest of nights.

"Hi, beautiful," I softly croaked, "How did everything go?"

"Hello there yourself, handsome," she beautifully smiled, "The surgery went perfectly and you have a beautiful new face now, Jake."

"Good," I grinned, "How soon can I see it?"

"It'll take a good ten to fourteen days for most of the swelling to go down," she smiled, "And then another two to three weeks for the bruises to go away; but I'll let you take a little peek in a few days, okay?"

"Okay," I smiled, as she took my hand, "I believe you," and then I drifted back to sleep.

~~~~~~

As I slept, I dreamed that Ashlyn and I were in a great forest having a picnic, and while we ate, I heard her tell me that she loved me. As I felt her kissing my face, near my lips, I could literally taste her beautiful essence, and somewhere in the middle of it all, I heard her voice tell me, "Maybe you really are my destiny, my love. Besides, I don't care that you're younger than me, and I never will."

~~~~~~

When I opened my eyes again, I was lying in a hospital bed, with Ashlyn sitting beside me on the bed holding my hand.

"Hey, good-lookin," she softly spoke, "How do you feel?"

"A little sore," I quietly replied, "And very thirsty."

"I've got something to quench your thirst; here," she replied, holding a straw to my lips, as I drank the refreshingly cold water, wetting the linings of my dry throat.

"I had the sweetest dream," I told her, taking another drink, "It was about you."

"Oh really," she softly asked, "And what did I do?"

"You kissed me," I told her, gently reaching for and taking her soft hand, "And you told me that you loved me, and that you didn't care that I was younger than you were, because you said that I was your destiny."

"Sounds like a beautiful dream to me," she knowingly smiled, "I wish I could've been there."

"You were," I said, "Can I tell you something without making you angry?"

"Of course you can," she grinned, "Jake, I want you to know right now that you can tell me anything you want, and I'll never get mad as long as you never lie to me."

"Okay then," I smiled, "I'm falling in love with you, Ashlyn."

"That's good to hear," she tenderly replied, a lone tear falling down her left cheek while she leaned down and softly kissed my lips, "Because I know I've been falling for you for a very long time now. I only ask that you don't ever hurt me, Jake, I just couldn't take that."

"Never, my love," I smiled, gently wiping her tear away with the back of my hand, "I promise to never hurt you."

As Ashlyn sat back up, she made sure the door to my room was closed before she softly told me, "We need to be careful while we're here at the hospital. Besides; your folks will be here in a few minutes, and they don't need to see us like this, at least not yet, okay, baby?"

"Okay, my love," I smiled, "Whatever you say."

"My, God," she sweetly grinned, "I can't believe that this is really happening."

"Why not," I asked, "Don't you trust your heart?"

"That's the thing," she tenderly smiled, "I've never felt like this before, Jake; but I want you to know right now that I'm not afraid of being with you; I swear to you."

"Is that right," I grinned, "How are you going to feel about me going to college while I'm dating you?"

"I want you to go to college, Jake," she gently answered, "But I don't see why we can't still be together in the mean time."

"Good," I said, "Because now that I know how you truly feel about me, I don't even want to think about living my life without you."

"Mmm," she softly purred, smiling as she took my hand and tenderly kissed the back of it, "That sounds good to me, baby...that sounds really good..."

~~~~~~

"Hi, sweetie," Mom said, as she, Dad, and the twins came into my room, "How're you feeling, baby?"

"Pretty good," I smiled, more alert by that time, "I'm still a little sore though."

"Hi, Jake," Leah said, as she and Laura came into my room smiling," Where's your girlfriend?"

"Jake's got a girlfriend, Jake's got a girlfriend," Laura softly sang, playfully teasing me, and then she softly smiled and then sincerely asked," Seriously though, how are you, really, Big Brother?"

"I'm doing pretty well," I smiled, taking her hand and kissing it, "Thanks for asking, little sister, both of you."

"We love you very much, Jake," Leah smiled, wiping happy tears from her eyes, "And just so you know; we're happy that you and Ashlyn like each other. We don't care if she's older than you."

"Neither do we," Mom smiled, "As a matter of fact, is she around here anywhere?"

"She just left," I said, "She'll be back in about fifteen minutes though, why?"

"Oh, nothing really," Mom knowingly smiled, "It just seems like you're better when she's around, that's all."

"There's something I need to tell you all," I said, looking at my family, keeping their attention as I noticed Ashlyn quietly slipping back into my room, "And I hope that you can accept it."

"Let me guess," Mom smiled, "You and Ashlyn are falling in love with each other, aren't you?"

"Yes," I smiled, "But how could you have possibly known that, Mom?"

"It's easy, honey," Mom sweetly replied, as she took Dad's hand, "The first time I ever saw your father I knew that I was in love with him. And I can tell that you two are in love because you two look at one another the same way your father and I first looked at each other, too."

And like I already said, Ashlyn had very quietly slipped into my room unnoticed by the rest of my family members as Mom was telling me all of this. Therefore, after looking at Ashlyn as she stood behind Mom, I smiled and said, "I take it you heard what Mom just said, my love?"

"I most certainly did," Ashlyn smiled, walking into the room; and then after placing her arm around Mom's waist, Ash looked her in the eyes and humbly asked her, "Are you sure about this, Naomi?"