New Band

It suited her very slight Irish brogue and as Ally was singing an idea popped into my head if she can butt in, so can I. I stayed behind my mike and looked over at her as I joined in the chorus.

The smile on your face lets me know that you need me
There's a truth in your eyes saying you'll never leave me
The touch of your hand says you'll catch me wherever I fall
You say it best when you say nothing at all

She smiled back at me as we sang and I stepped back to let her continue and concentrated on my guitar.

All day long I can hear
People talking out loud

But when you hold me near
You drown out the crowd
Try as they may they can never define
What's being said between your heart and mine

When I looked over, she nodded, well indicated that I should join her, so I moved over beside her and we shared a mike again.

The smile on your face lets me know that you need me
There's a truth in your eyes saying you'll never leave me
The touch of your hand says you'll catch me wherever I fall
You say it best when you say nothing at all

The smile on your face lets me know that you need me
There's a truth in your eyes saying you'll never leave me
The touch of your hand says you'll catch me wherever I fall
You say it best when you say nothing at all

We kept looking at each other as we sang and towards the end, I realised that she was making me feel soft and gooey, happy and very possibly also turning me on.

The rest of the gig passed in a bit of a trance. What did that look mean, why did I have the feeling that I did?

The audience stood and applauded, we'd been good, so much better. The five of us hugged, even Dani. Then Jane looked at me and asked, "What the fuck was that, with you two?"

Ally smiled at me and replied, "It just seemed like the right thing to do and then when Maria joined in with me, it was much better than a solo."

Fiona punched Ally's shoulder, "You two need to get a room, that was hot."

I started to flush, it was embarrassing, but she was right, it had been hot. I turned to put my guitar in its case and Ally stood beside me to do the same. She turned to me and asked, "Are we okay?"

"We were good, I enjoyed it. Or ...." I left it there and sat down to get a drink. I felt the need to avoid Allison, I have no idea why. We were on a bit of a high; Dani was covered in sweat but had a big grin. She seemed to have grown in the last two hours, "I loved that, thanks for letting me play with you. I've never been this happy."

Jane smiled as she spoke, "I have no idea who the drummer was tonight, but it sure as hell wasn't the shy girl we met a few weeks ago.

I lay awake for a long time that night, thinking about Ally. I really liked her and she'd stirred something in me that I hadn't felt for a while. I'd had a couple of flings with girls at University, but it had been experimentation, fun, something that I'd left behind and not thought about since then. There was no denying that I was thinking about it again now. She'd stirred something and when I realised where my hand was, I knew exactly what she'd stirred.

Allison

I stared at the ceiling. John was away again and that made me happy. It was so stupid; we didn't love each other anymore and we both knew it. I was sure that he had a woman somewhere, who he saw on his travels. Once I might have cared, now I didn't. We need to have a conversation this week.

My thoughts turned back to the gig. I have no idea why I moved over to sing at Maria's mike, but it worked and there was something between us, a lot of emotion. It'd carried on as we sang other numbers and I have to admit to myself that I felt something, something good.

It had been a very long time since Karen and I had shared a bed a few times in our last days at school. It had been great, neither of us thought that it was a lasting thing and we were both away in different directions as soon as the exams were over. I'd always dreaded the idea of someone finding out that we were lesbians and of course, I'd only been with men since then. I'd never looked at another woman and thought about her as a sexual turn on. Sure, I was able to recognise that someone was attractive, hell, Jane and Fiona were really good looking, Fiona's wife was just stunningly beautiful, despite being almost twice my age. Dani was, well just a gangly kid and so shy. Maria had taken my breath away the first time we'd met, but I'd just thought it was something silly. Now I knew that it wasn't. Just a shame that she's married and straight. But then again so was I.

After the third gig

I was as high as a kite when I reached home. It had been a great evening, our best gig to date. Dani had come completely out of her shell and Fiona had surprised us by singing, it was all great. Allison and I were getting our harmonies closer all the time. Best of all, the crowd had loved us and we'd been paid.

Paul was snoring loudly on the sofa and the smell of booze was nausea-inducing. His clothes were a mess, shoes on the coffee table, he'd been smoking and dropped ash on the rug. I hate smoking and he knows it. At one time he respected my feelings, but not so much now, especially when he was drunk and that was happening much more frequently.

Disgusted I went to bed, suddenly from being high, I was down and despairing. I cried as I fell asleep.

Paul was still on the sofa when I went to make coffee the next morning. Suddenly he was in the kitchen snarling about me being late home. He looked awful and the smell of bad breath and stale booze made me want to throw up.

"Paul, you smell go and have a shower or something."

"What do you mean, where were you last night? Were you out whoring?"

That stunned me into silence and suddenly the dam walls gave way. I raised my voice to a scream as I responded, "You have the gall to ask me where I was. I was playing with the band, as I told you. I've never been 'out whoring' or had a fling or even thought about it. And you want to know where I was, well that's rich. You're out every night or watching football or both. You come home late, stinking of booze most nights of the week and as for whoring, I suspect you'd know more about that than me."

I didn't see it coming, but I felt the fist as it connected with the left side of my face. The right side of my head connected with the edge of a kitchen chair on my way down. Suddenly he was over me apologising, but the smell of his breath finally got too much and I threw up. My face started throbbing. I closed my eyes. That was it; I was never going to allow myself to become a victim or a battered woman.

I hauled myself up as Paul kept muttering what he thought was an excuse for his actions. Somehow, I managed to speak without screaming, "That is the one and only time you'll ever do that to me. Get out, get out now and don't come back, we're done."

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean it. Where would I go?"

"I don't know if you meant it or not, but you did it and that will be the only time. I don't care where you go. Try your mothers; maybe she'll give you some sympathy."

"Fuck that I'm not going anywhere, this is my house."

"No, it's our house. You forget who I work for, one phone call and you'll have a great deal to explain and maybe a night in the cells. You have five minutes to get out and don't call me. I'll call you when I'm ready to speak."

He went and packed a few things and slinked away. I almost picked up the phone to report him as being a drunk driver, his alcohol level must still be over the limit, but that wouldn't help. I went to the bathroom to check the damage. I had a small cut on the side of my scalp, but it that wasn't bad. There was a huge red mark on my upper cheek and I could see the bruise developing already, it was going to be a corker. I took some photos and made some notes. I had no intention of going to the police, not now anyway and I'm not sure what would have happened if I'd called them.

I made tea, went back to bed and cried.

*****

I told my colleagues that I'd fallen, but none of them believed me. Paul had tried calling me several times, but I'd not answered. His mother had called and I picked up before realising who it was. It was an unpleasant few minutes; listening to all the ways that I'd neglected her son, failed to provide a grandchild and she confirmed that she'd never really liked me. I told her what had happened and she simply called me a liar, so I hung up.

*****

I didn't really feel like rehearsing, but it was something to take my mind away from the mess that my marriage was. I pulled up outside Fiona's house and, as usual, saw that the garage door was open and the gear set up. Dani was warming up, her mum was chatting with Milly, Fiona was sorting out some cables and Ally was tuning her acoustic guitar. She looked over when she saw me and mouthed 'Hi' before looking down again. Then her head shot up quickly and she stared at me open-mouthed.

"Hi, Maria. What ..."

"I tripped and fell."

"Okay ..." she replied, but I could see in her face that she didn't believe that any more than my colleagues had.

Jane and Fiona looked at me, it was Jane who asked if I was okay. I nodded and simply replied, "Shitty week. I need this to cheer me up."

The rehearsals went well. We tried two new numbers; Fiona sang 'Goodbye Yellow Brick Road' which sounded great. I suggested that we try 'Manic Monday', originally by The Bangles. Ally wasn't sure of the harmonies but promised she'd learn them. As we wrapped up Milly announced that she'd made a pot of chilli which we ate with pitta bread. It had become a favourite after practice.

Ally and I walked to our cars and as I opened the door she asked if I fancied stopping somewhere for a drink. I was in no rush to get home, so agreed that we'd meet in the Royal Oak which was on the road we both took.

We sat in the corner with our drinks, soda water and lime for me and a low alcohol cider for Ally. "You okay?" she asked. I nodded.

"Was it Paul?"

"What?"

"Come on Maria. You and Paul don't get on and that bruise was not from a fall."

I sighed and told her what had happened. "The bastard, have you heard from him?"

"No, although he's tried. I'll meet him on Saturday. I did speak to his mother and after that fun few minutes, I doubt if I'll ever speak to her again. Apparently, I'm lying or if he did hit me it must have been my fault. How you can make things fit what you want to be true is amazing."

"What will you do?"

"It's over, I'm done. I just need to sort out where I'm going to go. He won't agree to me living in the house and to be honest, I'd like to start over somewhere, but I don't have much saved, so until the house is sorted, I'll need to rent."

Ally sipped her drink, clearly thinking. "Fancy coming to stay at my place until you get sorted? It'll give you manoeuvring room."

"And how will John feel about a lodger?"

She smiled. "That was what I was going to share tonight, but ..." There was a pause, "He moved out at the weekend."

My mouth fell open.

"It'd been over for a while, but neither of us had the courage to do anything until a few weeks ago. I was busy telling him it was done and he was trying to tell me that he'd been offered a new job, in Coventry."

"Wow."

"Oh, he has a new lady friend as well. Met her when he was working away and although he claims 'nothing has happened' he'd like it to. Bollocks, he's been shagging her for a couple of weeks, but I don't care. I'm relieved it's done."

"What about the house, will you have to sell it?" I asked.

"No, most of the money came from my folks, after Dad passed. He's going to take the savings and we'll call it quits. I should just about manage for a while, but there won't be any frills."

We both sat thinking.

"I don't know what I want to do long term, but I need to be bold. If you're serious I could come and stay with you, maybe for a few months, until things become clearer. I could help with rent, but only if you're sure it would be okay. We don't know each other that well do we? Not yet anyway."

"No, we don't, but we soon would and it's not as if we're going to make a permanent relationship out of it."

*****

As I expected the conversation with Paul did not go well. He demanded that we get back together until I made him understand that it was done. It was then that he told me that he wasn't going to let me live in the house whilst he paid for it.

"Great, we'll sell it and split whatever's left. And don't even think that you're going to screw me over, that ship has left port. I'll see a lawyer this week and get an agreement. A divorce should be easy and don't forget, there is the assault and your affairs. Let's do this as nicely and as clean as we can." I had no evidence that he'd had an affair but the look of horror on his face told me that I was close, if not right.

I asked Jane if she could recommend a lawyer and she offered to act on my behalf. That made me feel better because I knew her and it wasn't going to be some anonymous person to deal with Paul.

It took me a week to pack up all of my stuff and the few things that I wanted. It made me sad that everything that I owned or wanted fitted inside my car.

Ally had suggested that I decorate the bedroom I was going to use and with some of my things, it felt okay. She helped me to unpack and put everything away. I left some things in boxes which went into the storage room. When I was on my own, I sat on the bed and shed a few tears, but I was safe, could start over and maybe find someone else to share my life with.

Ally shouted for me. We had a huge pizza and a couple of bottles of wine, with some nice music. The two of us told each other more of our life stories. By bedtime, we were both drunk and had laughed for a long time.

I was up early the next morning, still trying to get used to the strange surroundings. I slipped out and walked down to the local shop, half a mile away. The fresh air was good and blew away the cobwebs caused by stress and too much red wine.

Ally greeted me with a smile when I got back, "Hi, I wondered where you'd gone; thought you'd left me already. Made me wonder if I'd made a pass at you or something."

I laughed, "No, nothing like that. I needed some air. I have croissants' and several newspapers. Wasn't sure what you liked."

"Wow, what a treat. I've made coffee." We sat in companionable silence as we ate breakfast and read.

"I have a few things I'd like to launder if I could."

"Hey, you live here. Get your stuff and I'll show you the machine." Ten minutes later our underwear was getting intimate for the first time.

"What do you usually do on a Sunday?" I asked.

"I don't have a routine, but I started taking a walk when I get the chance and it's not raining. Have you ever been to Wellstead Abbey? They have nice gardens; we could stroll, feed the ducks and get a coffee. They also have nice cakes."

Ally drove and I felt happy. The worries of the last couple of weeks were behind me, almost.

She was right, the gardens were lovely and it was nice to chat. By the time we'd fed the ducks I was thirsty, so we headed for the cafe. I didn't realise that I'd hooked into her arm. I have no idea if she was aware of it and if she was, hadn't done anything.

We laughed over our drinks and carrot cake, then decided to have another slice of cake, red velvet this time, which we shared. Our arms were linked again as we headed back to the car.

I lay in bed that night thinking about what a lovely day it had been and how nice Ally was.

*****

Two weeks later we played a gig on Friday evening. One of the mikes decided to play up so Ally and I shared the same one all evening. It might have been our best gig to date. We finished with Manic Monday and the audience all joined in.

Milly and Abby had drinks ready as soon as we finished. I was surprised when Dani started speaking to another girl and after a few minutes, she introduced her as Jody, a friend from college. I don't think any of us thought that Jody was just that, the way they looked at each other, but it was good that she was gaining confidence.

"How are things with you two?" Milly asked.

I was about to answer, but Ally got there first. "Great actually, I love having Maria around and we seem to get along okay. Hey, we do each other's laundry." She laughed.

"Ally's right. I didn't realise how unhappy I was until now. Getting a hand with the laundry is good."

I was tired as I headed for my room. We passed in the hall, "I was telling the truth earlier. I like having you here." She leaned forward and kissed me on the cheek.

I undressed and got into bed. Something was stirring inside me. That kiss had been wonderful, magical and it was such a simple thing.

I was about to head out to work the next morning when Ally said goodbye and she kissed my cheek again. I was puzzled all the way to the office, what was that about?

*****

One Thursday evening, a couple of weeks later, we were in the supermarket, laughing as we tried to find the things we needed. We'd started cooking together and realised how much we enjoyed it, so we'd sought out new things to try. That meant we needed ingredients that we didn't have. "Look at this Ally, they have jars of crushed ginger. That's great, I hate that fiddly peeling and slicing."

Then I heard a voice I recognised from somewhere, "Maria, I didn't know you shopped here."

I turned around and realised that it was Lucy, one of the detectives I worked with occasionally. "Hi, Lucy. I split up from my husband recently and moved over here. This is my girlfriend Allison." They exchanged greetings and I was sure Lucy had a strange look on her face. After a few more words we headed off.

The shopping was in the boot of the car and we fastened our seat belts, but before starting the car Ally turned to me, "How well do you know Lucy?"

"Pretty well I suppose."

"Is she a gossip?"

"She's a cop, they all are. Why?"

"Well, girlfriend?" She asked.

"What's wrong with that?" I replied, puzzled.

"To quote 'I've just split up with my husband and moved here', then you called me your girlfriend."

"What's wrong with that, you are."

"Yes, but not the way she took it."

"Why?" I asked, still mystified.

Ally laughed as she spoke, "When you introduced me, you were holding my hand and raised it as if you were showing her."

"Oh shit. I see." The gossip had probably already started. The more I thought about it, the less I cared.

As we headed to our rooms that night, Ally leaned in and kissed my cheek, "Goodnight, girlfriend."

I turned my head towards her. Something made me respond by kissing her on the lips. "Nightie, night." This time it was me that smiled as I closed the door, leaving her with her mouth agape.

I lay in the dark thinking about that kiss. It was good and I wondered if it would be just as good if we did it again.

A real kiss

The gossip had spread before the morning coffee break and no matter how hard I tried to explain it, no one wanted to hear my version.

After the gig, that evening Ally laughed as she told the story to the rest of the band. I pleaded my case. "No matter how much I tried to explain that it was innocent, no one was listening."

I was in the loo after we'd finished playing and Dani was washing her hands as I came out of the cubicle. "Maria, you know that Jody and I are a couple?"

"I think we all guessed, that's good isn't it?"

"Yes. Playing with you guys has been good for me. But ..."

"What is it?" I asked.

"I must be wrong, but I thought that you and Ally were in love. The way you look at each, especially when you're singing together."