by sarge64
You have him relaxing in his suite, getting dressed, then going down to catch the shuttle limo, and then having some unknown woman putting her arms around him -- when the scene changes to him deciding to relax in the jacuzzi, followed by Karen entering and having sex with him. Did you bother to read this chapter before submission? You may want to fix this before submitting the next chapter.
A bit confusing with misplaced paragraphs, needs to be a bit longer chapter as well. Hope we don't have to wait so long for the next chapter.
I've read your other comments and yes you could benefit your self and your readers by slowly rereading what you write. That being said you have a chance to write a series in line with The Island. I'm going to want to see multiple chapters of this story in the future. Hopefully you will see the promise in that.
Please write the next chapter.
Just one word. The continuity of this chapter is a little out. Please check the next chapter before posting
This was possibly your worst chapter you've written, very confusing and hard too follow as stated by other readers comments. May I suggest instead of trying to pump out chapter after chapter too fast slow down and write four or five page chapters and then EDITED them. This one was like a mad dogs breakfast- all over the place. Sorry ⭐️⭐️⭐️ and that's being generous
Hope you are going to do More of this Story. They have to confirm him and then the Buisness and Cuckolding begin.
Your chapters are far too short for my liking but never the less. Now that this story is starting to get interesting you've stopped. It's been over twelve months since you posted ch. 4 .. please tell me you're going to finish this story .⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
I’ve really enjoyed the story so far. I’d really like to read more about these characters.
Are you going to continue this story it would be great if he delt with her and her family’s betrayal in a realistic way.
Ugh - The big picture continues to make no sense. I guess each chapter we get a new slut for him? Zzzzzzz 3*
PS - serious editing error. He was getting ready to go to the wedding, then he was in a hot tub.