All Comments on 'New Type of Strip Poker'

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get an editor, zero points for you

Near the end, it's supposed to be "orgasm", not "organism". Pretty good storyline, though more emotions could have been added.

In addition to having an "organism," her first time had already "happed" and someone "remanded " her the parents were coming home.

Besides these howlers, we never read a line of dialogue, nor do we even learn the girl's name.

The story reads like an outline, one intended to be handed over to a real writer.

but - maybe you should learn the spelling of 'orgasm' for your next story - which btw - it sounds like could be another good one.

and excited the front door' - 'take on three men at once.(three men, one a a time)' - 'the first was gently' (?) - 'sensed an unbelievable organism about to consume her' - 'trusting himself deep inside her' - ' With the next trust she ' - ' The organism she was experiencing ' - ' his fingers gentle tingling her clit' - 'She was remanded by one ' - 'there was five men and four women' - 'She resigned herself to her faith' - ' loser removes and article of clothing' - 'that happed just after high school.'

LAMENTABLE EFFORT - Thin storyline, non-existent editing, a really lackluster performance If you don't care about the process or the product, why bother at all????

Organism . . . . protozoa????c

I felt worried when she believed an unbelievable organism was about to consume her.