All Comments on 'New Year's Kiss'

Too short, and yet, very good!

More please, what happens over the next few days? Do they become a couple and make babies?

Make a few sentences now and then. That makes for easier reading.

Convenient that she didn't plan on going on the vacation just to fuck her brother. Clearly no one know his intentions and got to far set to not go...so with no pre-planning or thought they just instantly started fucking. People should live in the real World before writing such utter nonsense.

Even though it was a short story it was quite hot.

"How many cocks have you sucked?" "Three." Her innocence turned him on even more.

I think we might have different definitions of "innocence". ;)

Hot, but short. I liked the age difference and that they were basically strangers to each other. Thank you.

Another case of a great concept executed with mediocre skills. After reading this I clearly understand why it's rated below the 4.50 threshold for hot stories (4.44 as I'm writing this comment).

There's several things wrong with this story starting with the poor writing. 😕 Specifically, it's generally unacceptable to use the same word twice in a paragraph or sentence. The only acceptable time that you can do this is when certain words like "that" or "had" appear consecutively. For instance:

"If I had had enough time, then I could have finished my task on schedule."

"I thought that that would never happen."

Both perfectly okay uses of doubling up a word. But quoting from your story:

"Fuck," he swore. "Your body is so incredible. This ass of yours drives me insane, little sis. Are you really wet for me, sis?"

You used "sis" back to back in two consecutive sentences. This was awkward when reading it. 🤔

Which brings up another problem...your dialog doesn't sound realistic either. Who actually talks like that? When you're writing dialog, say it out loud and listen carefully. Or maybe have someone else read it back to you. If you were to end the above sentence at "drives me insane" with a period and delete "little sis" it reads easier and sounds reasonable too. There are other problems with this story and it would fill up a full page for me to touch on them all. 😒

Do us all a favor and take an INTRODUCTION TO WRITING course at your local Community College before you try again. 3/5

Accomodating 'lil' sis...'big bro'...

Got tired of them calling each other that...