All Comments on 'Newlyweds'

Sorry but this was damn near unreadable and sure as hell uninteresting.

These aren’t real people or even a semblance of people and the way you ended it showed that you were just trying to get through it as fast as possible because you, the author, lost interest in it.

How do you expect us to keep our interest if you can’t?

Absolutely one of the worse stories to ever appear on this site!

Please stop writing.

People who write for their enjoyment should not publish their stories.

People who publish are asking the public to read the stories, and, thus, should take time and effort to make the story at least a bit readable and enjoyable.

Garbage. WTF?

black demonish

I hated it.

I honestly doubt this drivel could come from a human.

You need to write a better generation script for the bot next time.

Subzero makes a great refrigerator. Too bad this story was SO bad.

There seems to be a lot of good advice for writers that has been lost in the modern era. Here are a couple you would do well to hear.

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1: Know your audience.

This is a Fetish lifestyle story with a slight Nonconsent/Reluctance twist. Either of those categories would result in better ratings for a story like this. The readers who specifically watch the Loving Wives category for new stories are not big on this type of story, and that is reflected in comments and ratings.

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2: Write for yourself, but publish for your readers.

This ties in with the previous advice, as it should guide you in where you publish your stories. However, it also includes things like taking the extra steps like using beta readers and editors to polish your story for publication.

What a piece of crap. Author's name reflects quality of this so-called story - LESS THAN ZERO

Stop it! You're a decent writer, but stop using the most idiotic plot device on this site: a small penis. Instead, write some complex characters that are normally attenuated but have different mindsets, motivations, complexes, or fetishes. Write around the stupid memes, tropes, and stereotypes. If you wrote this for YOU, please don't disseminate it. Keep it private. Seriously, this is just bloody awful--it's like bathroom graffiti. If you cannot see that, seek professional help.

Subzero is right. Nothing hot about this story of criminal behavior and conspiracy to defraud people of their human right to procreate. Throw in blackmail, cheating, and plain old lies and dirty dealing and you get nothing worth reading. I couldn't find anything about this appealing.

I am not a professional writer, nor even an amateur. But I do know that you started strong, with a solid outline. The ending seemed like a race to finish all the bullet points of your outline. She shits out five kids; than becomes a gangbang slut for him and his friends; then ends as a Queen of Spades? Really, where is the husband in all of this? The beginning could have been it's own singular story with follow-up entries which describe the husbands involvement and or agreement to this arrangement. But creating 5 offspring without any semblance to the father is quite a stretch. But it's your story - you do you.

I agree with Anonymous "Stop it!" when it's mentioned to drop the small penis plot device.

Please try again, you do have potential.

Wrong genre. It should be in non-consent or perhaps fetish.

"did you use AI to write this?" - Anonymous

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Actually, that's a really good question, even beyond this one story.

I've noticed several authors posting stuff recently that doesn't really compare to their previous works. Now I have to wonder if that is because they are using AI to increase their writing output.

Trash

Your first story…and if this is your plot lines…consider me a gone reader! Any wroter whose first foray is about cuck stories has a big problem in his mind!! You need to see a counsellor rather them be a writer!! Please take some mental help and re start writing! Good luck!

After reading your super bad story with every available shit cliche used…i actually wonder if u r mature enough to even be on this site?? Has ur parents given u permisison to keep up late at night to write this??

Your attempt at a LW fell far short. Packing all the perverted tropes into this mess just made it a joke.

This story was shit. However, it was your first, so I'll excuse it.

First. Get an editor. It will get rid of a lot of the spelling and grammar mistakes.

Second. Slow it down. You rushed every part of the story. I'm not saying drag it out with repetition and redundant descriptions, just slow it down.

Third. Going from a situation then suddenly adding a last minute detail to make it all make sense is a bad habit. There was a lot of "this is happening and that is happening," followed by a "Oh, by the way, this [add detail here]" going on. Start with descriptions so that later when a scenario plays out, the reader can refer rather than wonder wtf?

Fourth. Avoid contradicting yourself. At the beginning he landed a job making great money and living rent free with a company car. Fast forward to the blackmail, and the wife suggests they don't have a lot of money to give. You contradicted an earlier statement.

Fifth. Keep characters true to themselves. Some changes are okay, but it's hard to believe the wife would be so in love with the husband and so distraught over the situation, only to suddenly not give to fucks about her husband and be all about the cheating life style. Although I'll give you this, your scenario is more likely to happen than the usual one where a husband is spineless and becomes a badass or a badass and becomes a coward.

Six. Over the top...AVOID IT. Her craving the dude's big dick, okay. No longer enjoying her husband during sex? Eh, if there's an emotional attachment women maintain that they still get something out of it when they cheat, but alright. The random addition of 5 black men, out of nowhere, and the women being pawned off on them was ridiculous. Literally zero need for pretty much the entire last few paragraphs.

All in all, don't get frustrated, get better.