All Comments on 'NewU Pt. 05'

This was a long chapter, I agree. I enjoyed it and like where it's going, but it felt like at least a quarter of this chapter was devoted to banging Samantha. If more develops out of the Slam-Sammy session later on then ok, otherwise, it dragged on too long and I found myself skimming through a lot of it.

Loving the story and what's going on and can't wait for more, even if this chapter felt kind of like an intermission between acts.

The Samantha fuck session was FUCKING AWESOME. Even if nothing more comes out of it, the attention to detail, descriptive language, the battle under the surface of their actions, hot as HELL. Thank you so much. I had a great time reading.

Loved it, but you already knew that. You are an amazing writer, Nova, and I can't wait to keep working with you and seeing what else is in store!!

Great work! Its a good chapter after two months. Take your time with the next one too. Moving to the critique part, as others have mentioned the sex with Samantha is more detailed when compared to the rest of the chapter. If you would have described the cities with similar detail instead of corrupting my imagination with Tron and medieval architecture, I wouldn't be complaining with the sex part. Please continue the amazing work. Thanks

I want to say that I love this series. The plot, background development, and development are perfect. I am especially impressed that mind control does NOT mean slave. Great premise.

In previous chapters you focused on character development and that made the sex scenes go from good to explosive. In my opinion Samantha was underdeveloped and that made all the sex blaze, almost boring.

In my opinion Becky should be his main girl. She could be a powerful reason to defend against some enemy. Use her character to add to the flock. A constant stream of under developed characters will lesson the great work you've put into this story.

Please keep up the great work.

I've really enjoyed the story so far. I love the premise and the introduction of Jeeves. Really like Jimmy and the character depth.

For me I find the teasing during the sex scenes much too drawn out and overly long. I have skimmed quite a bit of that but maybe that's just me.

I really hope that you go on to flesh this out. It deserves more chapters.

Now that's erotica! Well done... Thank you!

A great story, I cannot wait to see were it goes. The story line is open to a zillion options, it could go on for ever ( and if things continue to be like the first 5 chapters, let’s hope it does!).

Only a Welshman could put something like this together (I may be biased).

Author - you are bringing pleasure to the universe :)

Stories need a great plot idea, but more than that a rich and embellished adornment of that idea - great plot ideas without development is what separates good` authors from mediocre .

Happy to tell you that you , my friend , rank in the rare top decile of story tellers - which means you are really good and deserve all the kudos you are getting.

I love your writing so far. Obviously I’m impatient for updates , but can wait . Just don’t be the sadist who start a great tale and then doesn’t finish it.......

Good plot and it flows smoothly. Kept me reading ...binged it after reading the first chapter! Keep up the great work, really enjoying it here.

So I ran across this story the other day. Love it. I am now half way to being caught up with your pace. 5 stars on every chapter so far. 88ttop here. keep up the good work.

Expertly written and ridiculously erotic

Incredibly talented writing, a great story. Impressed at how the protagonist's genuine decency shines through it all.

I enjoyed this tale, well written with sweet timing. Thank you.

Excellent. A few issues with incorrect wording, annoying but not enough to mar the story. Like the way you're developing the main character so far, and how it came out in the sex with Samantha. Would like to see more of the hospital staff in future chapters both with him and also satisfying their needs,,eg. Samanta's loneliness.

Bravo! Love the detail, emotion, sexuality; enough description to pull me into the scene and live the moments with the characters. Excellent work, a pleasure to read. Thank you

Loving this story but I wish I was your editor. Lots of problems like forgetting to put an "r" at the end of a word turning what should have been her but came out as he. I only know one person better than me as an editor and he doesn't read erotica. Loving it.

I don't normally do a "Love it," posting, but had to with this one. I can't remember ever reading a sex scene that this well written. First off, I loved the length and the fact that you didn't extended it by using the typical porno use of capital letters. You got me into it and kept me there. I have been enjoying the story and when you include excerpts like this one has, I'm sold. I am looking forward to the next chapter.

“ If I had more time, I would have written a shorter letter” - Mark Twain

I was a bit confused by the length of the encounter with Samantha - she’s seemingly a checkpoint on the roadmap of recovery, and unlikely to feature going forward, so the detail and effort put into the scene didn’t make sense to me as a reader. Beyond that, it was full of extra verbiage, double negatives, and other odd turns of phrase that made the chapter, and specifically the scene, feel too long.

I’ll submit the grammatical errors on discord, and I second the suggestion to add an editor. I’ll go further and suggest selecting either an editor you know well, or an editor you trust but don’t know at all, because a good editor will be ruthless, and you have to be able to take their feedback without taking it personal. A good editor would have knocked about a page and a half off this story without removing any action - and this story, or at least what I’ve read so far, deserves that kind of treatment.

If he fucks Philippa this story should be deleted, I don't care for good it is. Anybody shitty enough to do that to a friend as good as Jimmy isn't worth reading.

🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟

Liking the story a lot so far. I especially liked the comparison of the mind to a city fortress or citadel. Anr the buildings within comparisons were very interesting and pretty spot on. Please continue with this as you can. Am very interested in where you are going with this. Thanks for all your work.

And you tell me you almost lost this chapter on your old laptop, the horror!

The metaphor of a city to describe the mind is genius. The scene with Samantha makes me wonder if a better erotic story will be written.

Another cliche: what's with the 5 stars? Can I vote three times anonymously?

Great characters and story line. Looking forward to the next episode.

Mike R

FYI,

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I'm enjoying this story a lot! On to the next chapter. :D

Yay for intimacy!