All Comments on 'NewU Pt. 08'

THIS SHIT IS SO GOOD. it's been awhile since I've legitimately stopped jacking off cause I liked the story too much, but this did it for me. Thank you.

I am delighted to see another chapter in this erotic and compelling tale you've woven. Hard times have fallen on a lot of us, and I am happy to hear that your followers are sympathetic to your trials. I wish you and yours peace and stability going forward.

I really love the pqce of this story. It flows very well and the characters fit perfectly in it.

Good job!

I am deeply sorry to learn of your family's tragedies. This pandemic has devastated so many, but I can't even imagine what it would be like to lose loved ones to the virus. Like so many others here, I have eagerly awaited a new chapter in this series. I find it to be one of the most creative and compelling stories online, and had resigned myself at some point that it would be left unfinished. I thought that I understood why--the number of storylines is huge, and it must be daunting to keep so many balls in the air. Nevertheless, I was disappointed, and am now thrilled that I can see how things unfold. Your sex scenes are among my favorites, with the added benefit of a fascinating (and entirely novel, in my experience) plot to go along with them. I am already dreading the implications of your foreshadowing of Pete's regrets about his behavior and their impacts early in this journey. To put it simply, I am one of your fans and look forward to watching your story unfold.

First and foremost, I am sorry for your loss<es> and all the problems and hardships that has brought you. While I know many lost family members and friends which is tough to deal with, I can’t imagine having to try to explain or answer questions of children about any of this so my heart goes out to you greatly.

As far as this new chapter is concerned, I was shocked and thrilled to see it posted. You seem to have picked up where you left off without any problems that I noticed. It was just as well written and as much fun as always which is impressive considering the last couple of years. I am just glad to have you back and posting chapters again which is selfish of me but I can’t help it because it is that good. Thanks as always for your time and work invested while managing to keep your high standards.

Be well and stay safe and that goes double for the little ones.

J.D.

I must say my thoughts were so well said by Sukti that I find myself numb lol but yes I’m so happy to have you back again but totally understand your reason for absence screw writing when you have such heart ache to deal with family must always come first always. Thanks for entertaining us all.

It was a nice chapter but in my opinion it was a little too filled with head chatter after such a break between chapters. By which I mean, all the narration of the scenes, which emotions and memories were being elicited and by whom was all happening in our protagonists head during the fairly long sex scene, there was very little grounding in the scene and barely any dialogue. It felt more dreamlike in places than an actual event happening but that could have been by design with the amount of dipping into peoples psyches that was going on.

I have to be hones with you as I only really remembered the story as the dialogue between Pete and Jimmy unfolded, and then when Marco appeared it all seemed to snap back into focus. Before that I was a little confused by the story and what was going on, trying to match up what I knew to past stories, so that may have distracted me a little bit, clouding my view a little.

One criticism I have, although it's really a pet peeve, is forcing foreshadowing on your readers. To me, it's lazy and should be avoided. I think as a writer you should be leading your readers, or misleading them as the case may be, laying out information and maybe highlighting it for attention, but not writing something like "It would be a while before those words came back to haunt me..." Now to me, a line like that would have pulled me away from the story as the MC obviously isn't in the moment, he has foreknowledge of what is going to happen later on and I'm wondering why, so my immersion is broken. This happens a few times within this chapter, usually pointing to similar instances from the same character, all hinting that the situation will go South with this character and their interactions. In my mind, instead of the blatant foreshadowing, you could probably just remove those lines and the story would still hold up along with the hinting at something untoward you had used within the story. It would give the reader a glimpse of something going wrong and they could be on the lookout if they picked up on it, then it would get revealed when the event is going to occur anyway and those that picked up on the faults would get an emotional payoff and those that didn't would get a surprise. The use of forced foreshadowing removes a lot of the impact from whatever is revealed and in my opinion can ruin stories. But take what I write with a pinch of salt, it's just one persons opinion.

I am sorry for your personal struggles but happy you're writing again. I wish I had another star for this one. So detailed, emotional, and flat out sexy, yet you managed to move the story forward as well. Very impressive, one of the best stories I've read here. I'll be looking forward to the next chapter and everything you write going forward.

I am sorry to hear of your loss and pain. It made me feel guilty for selfishly hoping for this next chapter to drop sooner and bemoaning the lack of progress. I hope you can forgive me - us - for being human.

That being said, please don’t make us wait another 18 months for the next step in Pete’s adventure. Thanks for taking us along on his ride.

I am so sorry to read of your losses. Life can be very hard.

I am so, so glad to see you back writing. This is one of my very favorite series on Lit, and knowing you have returned is incredibly exciting.

I very much hope life calms down- not for the sake of your readers, but so that you can hopefully gain some peace from the strife you have clearly faced

Excellent writing as usual, but I do have to agree with many of WretchedMonkey’s observations. I found the foreshadowing a distraction, and almost dropped out of the story. An MC who becomes a flaming a**hole, causing or allowing his relationships to go south in a major way, is not satisfying to me. I understand the need for conflict to build an interesting story arc, but making Our Hero a major Anti-Hero who then strives to become Our Hero again is too much work, and drags the story on too long IMO. Of course, what works for me may be entirely wrong for someone else.

I hope life on the home front rapidly improves in the coming months. Best wishes in life and your writing.

Just read the first chapter a few days ago and literally couldn’t put this down till I got here. I’m sorry for your recent struggles, but my reaction to this story is WOW! I rarely comment on the stories that I read here, but what you’ve done here deserved more than just the 5 stars that I gave you!

Sorry to hear about your losses and changes in circumstances; it cannot have been more difficult.

Impressive writing despite the odd grammatical and typing errors. I agree with other comments re the foreshadowing of future events which I think spoils the continuation as well as enjoyment. You need to be more subtle, wording it less obviously but leaving it there as a very slight hint that gets overlooked in the context of the paragraph or that part of the storyline. Or just leave it out so the reader has no idea it's coming.

But overall impressive and pleased to see you're back writing. I hope it has some therapeutic benefits for you.

5⛤

I know the feeling about things in real life taking precent over the writing. I have been in a similar place myself. The only thing I can say for myself at least is that I find the writing cathartic, allowing me to leave the real world and spend time in a place filled with nothing but imagination and hope.

And the quality of your writing is very high, like some others a standard I hope one day to match.

I've been loving the whole series. Great writing, enough sex, and OMG you used "piqued" correctly. I swear everybody else on literotica writes "peeked". I'm SO glad i didn't found it until now, so no waiting!

In agreement with Sraulers. This development doesn't sit very well with me.

Having said that, I m glad to have found this story. Very well written. As others stated: reading this story takes up a lot of my time.

Think I'm gonna have to tap out on this one. Your writing is fantastic and the sex scenes are hot, but it feels like character regression rather than growth, you've already established the enemy, so why make your mc this manipulative asshat

I'm sorry for your loss.

I think he came out as a jerk a bit more suddenly here, wasn't expecting it so much. I was surprised how little he cared about everyone, especially Evelyn. Wondering if you meant to portray a Breaking Bad scenario, definitely feeling like it towards the end of this chapter.

Also a lot of forewarning about regrets.

Also while a great word, hard not to notice "abject" five times in one chapter. :)