by Mr. FeelGood
The plot is never developed beyond a single simple sexual event. Not well written nor attempted to be
loves to suck a cock, what a nutjob... head back to Gay Male ---> you freakin cock gobbler!
your a fucking dead asshole or at least you should be dead.....humm maybe sucide is the only way out. You can use your pin, it doesn't seem to be worth anything, writting is out of the question.
Don't listen to the other comments, this is clearly a fetish which they don't like. I loved this story......thought it was pretty hot to have the husband listen next door. Please keep doing stories like this!!!
This sub-human bitch writer needs to catch cancer and die slowly. She is wasting oxygen that could be used by somebody human.
A storyline, conflict, characters, plot, resolution, and grammar.
Basically, you just stole 4 minutes out of a readers life.
Pitiful effort at best, were you on drugs when you penned this garbage?
and will fuck anything that comes in the door. Where will she be when she is deing of AIDS and John leaves her for a younger woman. You should think your stories out to a better ending.
You focused purely on the physical aspect, so we can only presume everything else in the marriage was the same. Why did she fall in love with Danny in the first place? Why did she marry him? This story is little more than "big cock = love" omitting everything else. It is trite and superficial.
The closet cucks will decry the story because they know they are the "danny" but the more important criticism should be based on the uninspired exposition, lack of character depth, formulaic plot, and flat/emotionless description. Readers do not care about anyone in this story - if you are serious about improving your writing have an editor review your stories for content and heed their advice: this was pretty lame.
Very poor story, but i like the ending as danny got lucky by getting rid of her.
He could probably kill her with those cock dimensions.
Not good writing, but meh, I still got off on it. What can I say, it's been two weeks since I last had sex! :D
I don't say it very often but please stop writting, your worse than Matt Monroe and I understand him some what. If you keep writting put this shit in another genre, like fetish. Won't waste my time rating it.