by LaplaceErotica
This certainly promises to be a very hot story and I hope you will not keep us waiting too long for subsequent chapters. Well done
I’m loving the setup. Atmospheric setting. Unusual characters. 5 stars. A longer chapter would have been better though.
There has been similar stories in the past, so we'll see where you take us. 4* for now...
well done setup. How old are the characters? I am guessing middle age or so unless the old man was old when he fathered them. Plus Veronica's hair is silver? hope the rest of the story is as good. make the chapters a little longer.
Interesting premise, but you didn't really give us much to hang onto for now.
I love the "story" being developed before it justs gets down to the 'action'. Too many writers fail to take the time. Also, few take the time to read a 10 page story in this format. Please, continue!
Give the older brother Ren a splash of sexy hair for his manly muscular chest. Something for his sisters to stare at, caress, lick, cuddle, etc.
Excellent start, will be on the lookout for more chapters to see how it develops.
I hope it is a long,long story.
Scores 5/5
I like where the story may be going. I wish I had a few more subtle hints. I’m looking forward to the next chapter.
The use of "most alien geometries" in describing the kitchen makes it sound like the author is an avid reader of Lovecraft and similar writers.
Obviously I have many questions which I hope will be answered in future installments, but by far the most pressing is this: is the narrator's name literally Ren? Or is that a nickname used by his father and sisters? If it be his real name, it will be the first time I have been aware of a character being named for the kidney. (I should note that I wouldn't/don't have a problem with that if it be the case; it's just that the question is going to keep bugging me if we go forward without some disambiguation.)
Looking forward to more!
Unfinished stories get one * from me even if they are as good as this one. If your game is just to tease the readers you will have no more readers left.
So, hopefully someone working in the medical field, and got bogged down to much to write, or a victim of the human mandate going around the last few years?