All Comments on 'Nick And His Two Sisters Pt. 11'

Getting boxed in a little as the story arc progresses - He and Jessie profess their love, Rebecca is "in love" with Nick as is Jennifer. How do yo sort that out without permanently damaging relationships? I'll continue to ask for information on the monad where she is. Yes, it's not critical to story, but IF Nick, Rebecca, and Jennifer were to make a life for themselves, it could come into play... 5*

Really nice chapter ! but it definitely needs more editing or just someone to proofread

Could have been a very hot chapter, but way too many typos that need to be fixed. It really took me out of the story.

Every day I check in to see if the next chapter is up yet.

Keep going - please

I'm enjoying the series even with typos but I am troubled by the same thoughts another commenter posted before me. Where's the Mom and what future role does she play in the story? Also considering the story arc, things are going to get very messy. The idea that the two sisters may share Nick has already been introduced but what about Jessie, the new girlfriend? Does she become the public beard for the three siblings to hide behind? Not sure you can wrap this story up in few more chapters but good luck with it. It's been a treat to find something on this site worth reading and following.

Ok, while most of your work is good, even with the typos, this one was far more full of them than normal.

If I was you, I would hold off on posting your next one after you edit and proof read it and slowly go through it a second time maybe a day after finish ping the previous check. Just to catch massive errors like an erroneous 8 in the middle of a paragraph that becomes 2 or a clot between lips among others.

Maybe even poke about lits forums and see about getting someone to check your work, last I saw they had them for free or even just running it through Word or Grammarly or something.

Nice addition to this hot series but getting a bit complicated in Nickland! Gonna be interesting to see how you sort this fantasy out. I'll keep reading!

Cheers

SAGE

Terrific story. Great series and this was a great episode. Everyday I forward to reading what happens next.

I really enjoy your writing, but spell check or some other form spelling/grammar check (an editor?) might be useful. If you use word, then running a spelling grammar check won't take much time.

Thank you for the J name clarification. That would have been really helpful at the beginning of the series. At this point the three J names isn't a problem but starting off, it was a little confusing, it made me think about who I was reading about instead of focusing on what they were doing.

Gosh this situation with Rebecca and nick has me stressed out and worked up lol. Hopefully they can work it out next chapter. Amazing story please keep them coming.

Excellent chapter, next one please, we have still a long way to go.

Scores 5/5

Brilliant...

Looking forward to the next installment.

Adding the End number was a food idea ...