All Comments on 'Nightime Temptation'

Get an editor. Horrible grammar and punctuation. Sentences don't go on and on.

And the story? Really? No young lady is going to lay there while you forcibly take her virginity.

Hot you NEED to follow up WITH THIS!!! HOPE YOU DO GET HER PREGNANT!!! HOT

Hated it!

Just a tease.

It became unarousing when I realized the entire story was three run on sentences separated by indents and spacing. I couldn't even focus on the story.

good job can't wait for more

*gush* so hot!! Make her pregnant and sure she carries it to term and use her as your cow

Hot as helllllll

Please have your stories edited in the future... so many run-on sentences and such that I couldn't even read your story

I think you should write more please!!!

I couldn't get past the first paragraph!

YOU PERVERT!

that was pretty damn hot although it would've been better if you had incorperated a little more struggle into it i mean no girl who's a virgin at that is just going to let that happen she'd struggle a little at least but other than that so hot need to write more though longer filled with more i'll be watching for more from you hopefully about the same kinda things

This is nearly a verbatum story of how it happened for me the first time

Though editing would help, the premise of the story is good. Please continue with this storyline.

That was one hot story! I can't wait to read more.

The concept of the story was good, though a little hard to believe at times. You definitely need to reread your stories before you submit them as they are a little messed up still.

Though it was a little erotic, it wasnt mind blowing.

Look forward to next story, and the improvements you make.