Nina Ch. 03

Ben tugged at the quick-release built into the knots, freeing Nina's feet within seconds. He was momentarily stymied: should he waste precious time walking around the bed to her hands, or risk frightening her by leaning over her to reach them? Who knew what she might feel now?

"I'm coming to release your hands now," he said, hustling around the bed.

Once finished, he pulled on his underwear and hovered. They had discussed what to do should they stop suddenly, and she was clearly in distress, but what if she didn't want his touch?

Ask, you dumbbell, he told himself.

"Nina," he said softly, "do you want—Is it all right if I, uh, comfort you?"

She nodded. She had not moved from her position. Was this some kind of shock, he wondered?

It hit him over the head that the thing she wanted was for him to take control. Her deep insecurities had not magically disappeared. They had just cropped up again at this point of intense decision and stress.

Unhappy that he had let this happen, but giving himself the grace of this still being a new relationship, Ben did feel better now that he was thinking clearly again and had a good idea of what was going on in Nina's mind.

I'll take control now, Nina, he thought, not hesitating to maneuver her into a seated position. He settled himself behind her and eased her into his lap so he could cradle her against his chest.

Once again she seemed to be shrinking. She hid her face in her hands. After a few minutes of near-silence, while he stroked her hair, her back, her hunching shoulders, he sensed no change in her. She didn't weep but she didn't look up at him, either.

So be it.

He grasped her wrists in his right hand. She relaxed them into his grip and he peeled them away from her face. Instead of releasing them, he simply held them. She was more at ease when he held her.

Ben would use that to their advantage. He slid his left hand up her spine and around the back of her neck, holding her firmly, while with his right he kept her wrists together.

"I think I understand you, Nina," he said after a long silence. He felt her breath catch. "I see how hard it is for you to be open to me." Like right now, when you're closed tighter than a nutshell. "I think it's hard for you to admit to yourself, and to me, that you're a sexual being. It's especially hard because you have—you desire sexual submission..."

NINA

Ben's voice rumbling low and gentle in her ear, his solemn face so close to hers, his understanding eyes she couldn't bear to look at... Nina was exhausted, and Ben was lulling her into a sense of weightlessness and security she didn't have the strength to fight.

"Sexual submission," he was saying, "which doesn't seem normal or acceptable to you. You are afraid—not of me hurting you, I get that, but afraid I will reject you, for whatever reason. I suspect for many reasons. You're afraid there's something wrong with you."

Ben didn't press her to respond, but she could not keep from hanging her head.

"This is not your fault. This is not too much trouble. You are not too much trouble. Nina, I want to trouble with you. I want—there are things I want to do to you"—Ben's hand twitched against the back of her neck—"and with you, and I made the mistake of thinking we could go all the way with you leading... That if I made space for you, you would show me when I could take every step we want to take..."

He sighed and hugged her to him.

"I'm sorry," she said miserably. It's not worth it, she thought. I'm not worth it. She felt like wrapping herself up in cotton wool and never being touched again.

"It's okay." His voice was warm with insistence. "Nina, you have to understand—it is okay. Those are just your demons."

She scoffed. "You can't love someone who doesn't love themself." She colored but bit her tongue.

"I don't agree with you," he said simply. Nina was relieved he didn't address her use of the word 'love.'

Her chest ached. She could not put Ben through any more of this; she would let him out.

She raised her eyes and found his only inches away from her. Suddenly she was very aware of his arm resting along her back, his hand gripping her neck, her trapped wrists. She would have happily stayed like that forever, his prisoner.

Still, she said, "I think it would be best... I think you should let me go."

He waited a beat, his gaze holding a challenge. "No."

Now it was her turn to wait. The words were on her tongue: red, stop, let me go now. Nina knew he saw them waiting to be spoken from her lips.

But she let them dissipate. If he was giving her another chance, she would take it.

BEN

They had gotten it nearly right, he knew. It was all about balance. The push and pull between them; giving enough space-but also knowing when to press. And he had underestimated Nina's need for his pressure as an ongoing part of her participation.

It was more than his way in.

Relieved, Ben knew he and Nina needed to speak further, and she desperately needed—both of them needed—rest. He thought he had unlocked their way forward, and it made him nearly jubilant. And he realized he was starving.

"No. I'm not letting you go, not unless you tell me you want me to. What you think I should or should not do is neither here nor there." He paused to make sure she heard him, loud and clear.

"Here's what I want. I want us to get cleaned up. I want you to let me take care of you. I want us to have a meal-dinner, I think, and then I want us to spend some time catching our breath. Finally, Nina, I want to try this again tonight. Not necessarily this exact scenario, but I want us to try meeting, ah, in this space, so to speak. As master and submissive." He kept his voice authoritative and insistent.

At this last phrase, Nina shifted in his lap. Evidently she didn't trust herself to speak; but she nodded.

"What do you say?"

She seemed to be evaluating the way her hands looked with his larger hand around them. Finally she smiled shyly and said, "I guess I don't have a choice."

His answering smile was broad as he leaned in as if to menace her. "No, you don't."

They both knew she did.

He knew he'd found it this time. The sweet spot.

Ben pulled Nina closer and swung his legs off the bed. He helped her stand, saying, "Let's get cleaned up," and escorted her still-wobbly form to the large bathroom.

NINA

Although she was shaken, Nina did not want Ben to leave her side. She was careful not to cling to him, but his steadiness, his certainty, just the very realness of his presence-it did at least as much to calm her as did the hot water cascading over her shoulders.

He also seemed... What was it? Enthusiastic? Jittery? There was some electric quality about him, as though he knew something she didn't. She frowned, contemplating the top of his head as he bent to rub foaming body wash from her ankles up to her hips.

Ben looked up, careful to stay out of the water, and caught her frown. "What's up?" he asked.

"Um... I was just wondering, I guess, why you seem so..." Again Nina gestured where she couldn't find the words.

A smile crept slowly across his face. "Well, Nina, I'm happy. I know exactly what to do with you," he said wickedly.

In that instant all of her exhaustion vanished. Despite the heat raining on her from above, she shivered, right under Ben's watchful eyes. He registered and seemed to enjoy it. He was rubbing the soap into the backs of her knees, sensually massaging circles upward, around the backs of her thighs, hesitating just long enough for Nina to have time to want him to touch her ass before he actually did it. With one sensitive cheek in each of Ben's huge hands, Nina felt her mouth drop open. He kneaded and squeezed, his fingertips occasionally brushing against her asshole or dragging down to skim her lips. She pushed back into his hands, desperate for more.

Ben stood and towered over her. Nina's stomach was fluttering with anxiety, with desire; all she could do was look up.

"I know how to handle you going forward," he said seductively.

"Yes." The word slipped out, tiny, hopeful.

He held her face in his hand. She could feel the tip of his penis, newly erect, brush against her belly.

"Not yet, Nina. But don't worry. I'll have my pleasure from you tonight."

Nina's stomach clenched in anticipation.

A few hours later, 'tonight' seemed like far too long to wait. They'd had an easy dinner: their clothing seemed to reduce the tension that had developed in the shower. Then they'd taken a walk together in comfortable silence.

Ben had asked for her hand after they had been walking for ten minutes or so. He hadn't let go since, and now they were returning through the front door.

"Do you need to use the restroom, Nina?"

She declined.

"Do you need anything else?"

Nope.

"All right. Follow me."

Nina didn't really have a choice. He led her back to his bedroom. Before he opened the door, he turned to her, releasing her hand and settling his hands on her shoulders. The look on his face was serious indeed and sent a thrill through Nina's abdomen.

"You will continue to address me as 'sir.' We will use the colors: green, yellow, orange, and red. I won't be waiting for you or go easy on you-not unless you ask me to slow down. I'll use physical force if I want to, but your words will override me. Do you understand?"

"Yes. Yes, sir," she said breathlessly.

His mouth was a thin line, but he betrayed it with the hint of a wink. "Good. You will do what I tell you to do..." He trailed off meaningfully.

"Oh, yes." Nina blushed at how tight with eagerness her voice was. It looked like Ben was amused. "Um, yes, sir."

"You're doing great," he said softly before continuing. "You'll answer if I ask you a question, to the best of your ability. If you stumble or mess up or hesitate, I will find some way to motivate you or punish you: I may give you a squeeze-which I'd like to demonstrate." Here he looked at her questioningly. She nodded.

He squeezed one of her shoulders to the point of discomfort. "Yes, sir," she said, wincing.

"It won't be more than that." He turned the squeeze into a gentle massage. "But I might squeeze another body part-not your breast or your sexual area, not your neck, nothing dangerous." Ben would hurt her a little, but only to motivate her, and to make the shift to pleasure that much sweeter. "Or, I might save your punishment for another time of my choosing. It might be in the form of a spanking, like you've had from me before."

He searched her eyes for a long moment. "If you have questions-or if these terms don't work for you-tell me now so we can negotiate. Otherwise, when you are ready, open the door."

Time moved slowly as she saw her hand reaching for the knob. But once she had twisted it and swung the door open, Ben was suddenly close behind her, with his hands in a tight grip under her arms, around her ribs. He marched her across his room until she was facing the wall, her nose nearly touching it.

"Lift your arms above your head."

She did. Ben tugged at the hem of her shirt and pulled it off her in a surprisingly aggressive motion. Nina started to lower her arms but he said tersely, "Keep them up until I tell you otherwise."

He reached around her hips to unbutton and unzip her jeans. She shivered at his touch.

"Stay still."

Nina stilled. If only he would move his hands lower, she thought desperately, and just rub between her legs, just for a moment...

"Nina!"

Whoops. She'd been pressing forward, trying to trap his hand between her belly and the wall, looking for some kind of relief.

"I'll let it slide. Remember, you don't get gratification until I want you to," Ben said. "But I will have mine from you, starting now." He pulled her pants down to her ankles and she heard him unzip his fly. She started to step out of her jeans but was interrupted by him grabbing her hips roughly and shoving her forward until she was pressed against the wall. She felt his erection grinding against her butt, through her underwear.

"You feel so good," he growled into her ear, pumping his boner between her cheeks, along her silky underwear, his hands planted on the wall at either side of her shoulders. "I could come on your ass right now... Is that what you want?"

"No, n-no sir," she stammered, doing her best to hold still though she wished she could push back into him.

"Good girl, staying put. All right. You may lower your arms. I'm taking you to my bed, and I'm going to tie you down for what's coming next." He backed off and finished removing her pants and all of his clothes. He left her underclothes on.

Oh, god, what's coming next... "Yes, sir," she said, trembling, her mind conjuring up all the right images.

BEN

This was it, their play space, for now. Ben couldn't keep his hands off Nina, and every 'Yes, sir,' sent a pulse through his equally excited dick.

When her knees hit the edge of the mattress, Ben didn't let her go for a moment. He ran his hands possessively over her breasts, still encased in her bra, and squeezed them as he again let his cock seek its relief in her thick rear.

He couldn't resist, just for a minute or two. And Nina would love it.

"Bend over."

Nina swallowed, her breath shallow. When she hesitated, Ben brought one hand to the back of her neck, securing her hips to his with his other hand, and pushed her, face-down, over the bed.

"Your first infraction," he said. He felt her stiffen with unease-or anticipation. "It was a small one. I'll punish you now. Stay where you are." He groped down her ass until he found the softest place, inside the backs of her thighs, near where her legs and butt joined and almost where her pussy began. He could feel wetness spreading there.

Ben squeezed, hard, in pulses, making Nina jump every time. He let his fingertips stray almost to where her underwear covered her outer lips, but not quite. He massaged her so she felt him opening her labia, but he didn't satiate her need to be touched, laughing in response to her frustrated sigh.

"Punishment's over," he said lightly, removing his hands. He backed away from Nina so she was no longer in contact with him, and he could see she had a difficult time keeping still.

"Get on the bed. Stay on your knees, face down, until I tell you to move."

Nina took up the position. Her ass was not high enough, he decided.

"Don't be shy, Nina. I'm going to show you what I want." He joined her on the bed and knelt at her side. To lower her head and shoulders, her adjusted her arms-it was a beautiful sight. It could be even better. Again, Ben palmed her ass, this time pulling her underwear down. He let his hand slide until he found her vulva, wet and warm, and he pushed two fingers inside her. God damn, she felt amazing.

"Rise with me, sweetie." He coaxed her butt higher in the air with his fingers pumping in her slickness, his thumb teasing her other hole.

Ben's cock was urgently reminding him that he was highly aroused-for the second time that day-and had not yet come inside Nina. It took a stern reminder to himself for Ben to return to his plan. But he would enjoy himself while keeping her on the edge between pleasure and discomfort.

"Remember this. You'll take this position in the future when I need you on your knees. Okay?"

"Yes, sir."

"Now, keep my fingers inside you while you lie down on your back. Use your hands if you have to. Don't let me slip out."

Nina paused. Ben watched her toes curl; he had come to love these signs of her working through her discomfort. Finally she reached between her legs and took his palm between her fingers, pushing him inside herself more securely as she rolled onto her side and then her back, with her knees up to her chest. Ben started masturbating, seeing her lying open and available to him, with her wetness covering his fingers as she couldn't help but try to find pleasure using his hand.

"Good girl," he said, his voice rough with arousal. He was going to lose it if he didn't break away and tie her now.

At last, he said, "Let go. Hold your arms and legs out. Be still, and don't make this difficult." His tone brooked no hesitation.

Nina complied. Ben swept off her underwear as he pulled away from her. Then, he took every opportunity to touch and tease her as he bound her again in the ropes. He knew the agony of touches that were almost enough, that nearly hit the right spot, that stoked the fire rather than quenched it. He kept his hands light and gentle and suggestive.

Nina was right where he wanted her, so carried away by her own arousal and her need for him that she wouldn't get lost in her insecurity.

NINA

She flinched under his hands, and he tightened his grip on her wrist, the last free limb.

"That's your second infraction," he said mildly.

Nina waited, holding her breath, for a punishment that didn't come.

"I will deal with it later."

Ben didn't even look at her; his eyes were focused on the knot he was making. When he was finished, he had left Nina with plenty of slack in the ropes binding her ankles. Not so with those on her hands-she could bend her elbows only slightly. Her knees, however could open very wide.

He stood at the foot of the bed, leaning against it. She noticed how calm he looked, almost smug... She, on the other hand, was barely keeping it together. It was maddening.

"Bring your heels to your butt," he ordered.

She did.

"Open your knees as wide as you can."

This was like before, she thought uneasily. She couldn't do it last time. What made him think—

Ben grabbed her knees roughly and pulled them apart. She was in a butterfly stretch, the lips of her pussy open to the air. The shock of it made her push her knees together against his hands.

"Sorry," she whispered automatically.

When she looked at his face, Nina saw no sign of a smile. His eyes were cold and she felt a tremor of pleasurable unease.

"We both know I could do this by force," he said grimly.

Would he? Nina wondered. She half wanted him to.

"But here's the thing, Nina—I don't want to. If you fight me again, I'm not going to come inside you. I'll use my own hand and come on your beautiful stomach."

There was a tense moment.

"You're mine either way. In you or on you."

She pictured him kneeling above her, pumping his semen onto her while she waited helplessly, and pleasure began to build in her belly.

"All right. Yes, sir," she said, quivering to play her part, "you can... um..."

"I can part you. Say it."

"You... You can part me."

"Sir," Ben prompted,

"Sir."

Firmly, he took hold of her again. He pulled her knees as far apart as they would go, until she flinched with an uncomfortable stretch, at which point he let them rest, open. Ben ran his hands along her thighs over and over, never quite reaching the place between her legs, though his thumbs did occasionally brush against her sensitive outer labia.

This was the darkest moment for Nina, this distance between them as he looked at her naked and vulnerable body, which she had voluntarily placed before him. She wanted to coil and burrow and flee; she wanted him to probe and sink inside her. Ben seemed to be privy to her internal war. He paused for a moment, his hands tantalizingly close to her sex, almost touching but not yet touching.

The look he gave her was both patient and piercing. I'm taking what I want, it said, just as soon as you acknowledge that it's mine.

Nina released the breath she didn't know she was holding and looked at him beseechingly.

Finally, Ben nudged her heels aside and crawled forward to lie on top of her. His neck, his chest, all was tight and tense. He covered her and looked down on her out of his eyes that glittered with a desire bordering on hostility.

Nina felt the power of his will crushing against hers-felt a soaring, tingling sensation all over her body as her brain processed fully her predicament. He's going to help himself, she thought, and I cannot wait any longer for him to take, take, take. She imagined what his face would look like as he reached his peak inside her, feeling the first tiny clench and pulse of the beginnings of her own orgasm, fiercely needing to give to him.