Nineteen Hundred

They stopped in front of the door, embracing for a passionate kiss. Tony's left hand moved inside her robe and softly grabbed a handful of her right breast. They kissed deeply for several seconds. Tony broke the kiss and whispered, "See you Monday night". She let Tony out and stood in the door as she watched him get into his car in the pouring rain, then shut the front door.

Julie tightened her robe and walked towards the stairs, not looking towards nor saying anything to Jake. "We need to talk," he said as her foot stepped on the first stair.

She stopped; sighing deeply. She turned towards Jake. "Yeh, I guess so," she quietly responded. She went to the couch and sat down in her normal way; her right leg bent under her, her left foot on the floor. Jake sat down facing her. Spreading her fingers as she ran her hand through her hair, she looked at him, emotionless. He stared back silently and sighed.

"What, Jake?" she whispered.

"What? You know what!" he said in an elevated tone.

"No, I don't know what," she replied in a low tone, with a blank stare.

"You fucked a guy in OUR bed!" he declared.

"Yes, Jake. You wanted that, remember?" she stared silently. "You had a choice and you chose to let it proceed," she softly said looking into his eyes. Jake tried to say something, but there were no words. After some silence, she asked, "Are we done here?"

"N...N....No, damn it," he stuttered, trying to think of something to add, then fell silent. Both looking at each other.

"Then what, Jake?" she quietly asked, putting her hands in her lap waiting for an answer. Jake gathered his thoughts. She stared at him; waiting.

Finally, he replied, "Is this it? Are you going to see him again?"

"Yes, Jake, we have class tomorrow night," she stated.

"You know what I mean," he sternly replied.

"Shit, Jake, honestly, I don't know," she answered.

"What do you mean you don't know?" he questioned. "We agreed this would be a one-time thing," he added.

"Jake," she sighed. "Can we talk about this later. I'm tired."

"Damn right you're tired, he fucked you all night!" he angrily replied.

She threw her head back and took a deep breath, then looked at Jake as her eyes filled with tears. "No, Jake. No, he didn't fuck me all night. Besides, isn't that what you wanted?"

"I didn't think you'd be his whore!" he shouted

"Jake!" she shouted back, bursting into tears. There was silence between them as she cried, then regaining her composure, somewhat. "I wasn't his whore," she said through her tears.

"Then what was that last night?" he asked.

"Did you see what he did to me on this couch last night?" she paused. "Did you see how he made me feel? Did you see how he touched me? Did you see him make me cum?" she asked softly as tears streamed down her face.

"You were drunk," Jake stated in a huff.

"Yes, Jake, maybe I was. I was a wreck before he arrived. Did you see the way he greeted me? Did you see the way he treated me?" she paused, staring at her husband. "I honestly felt like he cared about me...like...like...like I wasn't just someone to fuck," pausing again. "Jake, he kissed me passionately. He made me feel wanted."

"Yeh, he knew he was going to get a piece of ass!" he retorted.

"Maybe so, Jake, but I didn't feel like his whore," she quietly said, wiping her cheek. "When was the last time we actually made out on this couch like Tony and I did last night?" she asked, followed by silence. "I remember. It was five or six years ago on Christmas Eve after we stuffed the kids' stockings and put down Santa's gifts under the tree. But you know what, Jake, I'm pretty sure I didn't cum then," she paused.

"Jake, you use to treat me like a woman; like someone you really loved. It stopped after I became pregnant with Jamie. After he was born, the romance, the making out, the warming up before sex...it all stopped. You haven't treated me like Tony did last night in YEARS," she explained, as more tears quietly flowed.

He looked at her in silence.

"You saw what he did to me BEFORE we went upstairs. He had me so mesmerized, I would have done anything he wanted to do to me in bed," she paused. "And you know what? Not ONCE did he use foul language towards me or make me feel degraded," she added, followed by silence. "Yes, we had intense sex, but I never felt cheap. I never felt like a whore...until I saw you jacking off!" she shouted, bursting into tears. Sobbing, she threw her face to the sofa in front of her, crying loudly.

Jake sat there, looking at Julie in front of him as she sobbed. Julie was obviously in emotional turmoil. Her crying was unabated; she let it all out. He sat there, finally catching on to her point of view. It began to sink in on Jake.

Julie cried for a few minutes; Jake didn't speak. Julie regained some composure and sat back up. Now Jake had a tear running down his face. "Now what?" he asked.

Julie looked at him through her tears. "I don't know, Jake," she whispered. "I've done everything I can to make this a happy marriage", she said; her eyes red and puffy.

She pointed to her fingers on her left hand with her right index finger, counting as she continued. "I've loved you and only you. I've given you two wonderful kids. I work a shitty job so I can go to night school and earn a degree. Jamie and Jessica rarely see me, Jake. They see my mom more than me some weeks," she stated, then fell silent again, brushing away tears.

"Are you going to leave me," he asked, barely audible.

"Oh, geez, I don't know, Jake," she sighed, pausing. "I know I still love you," she quietly replied, then paused again. "But right now, I don't respect you. I told you the other night we either do this or you stop talking to me about it. You had a choice. You made the choice to bring someone else into this marriage, if only for a few hours," she continued softly. "For God's sake, Jake, the last time I slept with someone other than you, I was still in the Navy," she said, pausing as a few new tears ran down her cheek again.

"We took vows. You're supposed to honor and cherish me, remember?" she paused. "Jake, remember?" she asked again, not expecting, nor waiting for a response. "I was cherished by another man last night. Believe it or not, I felt like a woman with him. You tore all those vows apart, Jake," she softly said. "I'm not saying you're 100% to blame, but you had the chance to not let this happen. I know...I could have stopped it, too; but you wanted it so much," she added quietly.

Jake just looked at her, weeping. There was a long pause; the house was silent. Then Jake asked again, "Are you going to see him again?"

"Oh, Jake...don't ask me that. I can't make any promises. He's a super nice guy, but I love YOU, Jake. I love the kids," she again paused. "It's probably going to take me a long time to get over last night. I didn't break our vows, you broke them and I'm going to have to learn to deal with it somehow," she softly lamented, wiping a tear from her cheek.

"I'm done. I can't talk about this anymore," she said as she stood and headed towards the stairs. "I'm going back to bed, then I'll text mom around 11 or so to bring the kids back," she said walking halfway up the stairs.

She turned and stared at Jake for a few seconds in silence; eyes swollen. "I still love you, Jake, but this marriage is now broken. Give me time to figure out where we go from here. I don't understand anything about last night or your fantasy. Please; just give me time," she quietly said and walked upstairs.