All Comments on 'No Fault, In 750 Words'

Simple, straight forward, to the point, well written. Maybe a bit short, but still a 5*, thank you!

It was short, but the main points were there.

I really liked the truths in this setting, and it's a big change from the usual LW stories, where everything is exaggerated.

- No need for proof, photos or videos.

- Actions count more than words.

- Just the will to stop being married.

It would have been good to know if she actually slept with him. Still very good. 4 stars.

A good summary. This one deserves to be a bit longer as she seems very confident at the end, but a good rattle through the usual tempo of things!

Nice story , I enjoyed it. AAAAAA+++++

Thank you, a nice little vignette focussed on the one phone call. I don't need to know any more than you write.

For 750 words, really good and concise.

Why do all the great ideas end up in a 750? Perfect dialogue 👍

unreadable

Okay for what there was of it, but the problem with 750 words is that it doesn't allow for any character deveolment or background. So the facts come wizzing in out of thin air, collide and fall to earth without much fanfare. Or logic. Or any kind of discussion except the 750 words.

OK I get the no-fault state mechanics used for the story..., but I think Shiree's assertion that he didn't have proof needed fleshing out. We never heard any in the text of the story, but he might have had proof in the form of an overheard conversation. Even if he didn't have a physical copy or recording of any kind. Nothing he could present to the court other than a 'he said, she said' scenario which Shiree could adamantly deny. But it would have been enough to solidify his decision to press the no-fault divorce. As is, it sounds as though he really may not have any proof of her adultery. He's just guessing and going the no-fault route because he is tired of trying. Still 4★

EH, like she said there was no proof

whaa--?!

SMH.

Way too many holes. Out of all the 750 word stories I've read here, only 2 were done well and this isn't one of them.

Very clever. Tight writing. And overall a fine read.

Short and to the point. Nice quick read. Thank you Author. Keep writing please. Next time with more details.

Really well written but it's only a single scenes from a larger story. 4.0*

Good story, but if I were him I would really want that proof. Marital commitments are hard for some of us to break. That said, the "You have no proof" claim sounds like guilt.

Very short and to the point, Shiree has a new playmate Gustav, her husband kicks her to the curb. Enough said, it’s been growing over time.

Pretty good! 750 words is indeed a challenge, but you covered the bases and made your point. Prepare yourself for a half dozen complaints about not having enough background and "What happened next." Oh, yeah, and there will be a few complaining about no punishment for Gustav. Maybe those folks just don't get the "750 Words" part of the 750 word challenge. Anyway, well done, please write another.

AND!

Good story! It’s a 4* but I always add 1* when I can, because unless you’ve tried it and already know, writing a coherent 750 word story isn’t easy!

Good job. 5*

Proof might get him custody. D

You are a very welcome new addition. FIve stars

I didnt like it.

dont matter if she slept with him or not. disrespect is good enough to move on

Like it.

Unfortunately in Part 2 he picks up the tab and gains visitation rights to the kids after moving out.

Life often isn't fair!

Good enough. She cheated and got caught and he got revenge.

I liked it. I doubt in real life she would let him ramble on. This is more of an in person talk.

And this is the one, the one tale every one hundred that is not the usual annoying cuck fantasy or a fempov fake btb, ending always without making the betrayer wife pay for her sins (to pay in such cases is always the lover, never the slut wife).

The only negative thing to say is: too much short, as it's happening for almost all of these good balanced and realistic tales.

Anyway, the 5 full stars are well earned, even with only 1 page tale.

So...did she cheat or not? Why leave that open-ended? I understand her behavior was wrong either way, but I'd think the marriage could possibly be saved if she did not sleep with the other guy.

750's are very tough to do, most authors end up with an inferior work. But this is a well done piece. Bravo.

Did she or didn't she? No conclusion

Great story, too damn short! 5*

Good premise and decent story but... a bit of response from her along the way by tightening down his comments. And a one sentence of "no I didn't" at the end was really frsutrating. Yes, being frugal with words is good. Being stingy isn't. Thanks for the effort!

Would have liked to have read more about the fallout and aftermath.

lujon2019...... Like the MC said no fault remember? Don't need proof.

I can't wrap my head around all the readers who expect two plus pages of content in a 750 word story. It's a bit of street food, which can be very tasty if you get the right vendor at the right time, not a three course meal.

This one was nicely done for what it is, an advert for the author's abilities, and I for one will be looking at his other postings.

Loved it, all questions answered.

Very brief unfinished sketch. More of one scene in a much longer story. Further information here is absolutely no pathos so it s dry and factual like a police report.

3 stars

One of the few 750-word stories that actually tell enough of the story so you have the who, what, where and why. It's complete. Well done 4-stars.

3 stars for an average dump the bitch story - nothing new or unique here.

@Anonymous and @lujon2019 Re: Proof - As noted in the story, with no-fault divorce no proof is needed. Leaving aside all the other things he mentioned, her actions at the Christmas party, along with her response to his reactions, was enough for him, regardless if someone else would want more proof.

750s are hard to do with quality. But you managed to do it here. Not a 5 ⭐️, but much better than average.

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What was missing here was the aftermath…750 words doesn’t allow for much of that. But maybe you could have saved 20 words for something.

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4 ****

No, he's right. No fault means he doesn't need evidence. His feelings matter a lot more than hard evidence. She cheated on her family emotionally at the minimum. That's enough reason. She disrespected his wishes to make her more involved, she spit at his offers. That alone is enough reason. He doesn't love her anymore is enough reason.

But we all have seen both men and women use the Cheater's handbook excuse of, " if you lack hard proof, it didn't hapen". They'll say that right up until you present hard proof. Then they downplay the proof.

Her affair fog just lifted. And it no longer matters. No amount of manipulation on her part can make him love her again, can make her children feel special again, can salvage her reputation with family and friends again. She's isolated in shit creek. No paddle, no shore line, and that canoe is taking on shit.

Short and oh so sweet.

Okay story. No fault doesn't mean no reasons.

Very impressive, both the writing and the MC. 750 words to tell how a put upon husband decides he's taking no more shit and puts his plan into action.

One of the anon posters below complains about the lack of character development but for me this is the beauty of the 750 word format as there's nothing more frustrating than when you've just got yourself invested in a story and the author suddenly takes a journey in a time machine to regale us with a lot of pointless and dreary padding about how they first met, the academic qualifications they achieved and a stultifying and exhaustive description of what each one does for a living; there simply isn't room for any of that shit. So bravo, author and take a bow.

BOOM! 5*

Every state permits no-fault divorce, and so there is nothing unique about that. But "no fault" does not obviate issues of property settlement, alimony, or child custody and support. The last sentence "just sign there where it says" unfortunately ignores all that. A petition for a no-fault divorce is merely the first act in a lengthy and expensive series of negotiations and potential court proceedings regarding those important issues. Authors should understand these things before resting their stories on husband yelling "sign it."

Short and sweet!

5

Succinct

... and if he's wrong?

"No proof? Tell you what, sign the papers and agree to the terms and you can tell everyone that I divorced you because we just changed and grew apart; no blame either way. Or you can fight the divorce or besmirch my name and you will get the proof second hand, from your friends and family, who will get it first hand. Cut your losses and go away."

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An effective short story. Thanks.

Different. Good. Thanks.

This is an excuse for a long moralistic rant by the husband. He presents no proof of adultery, which - despite the title and emphasis on “no fault” IS indeed his reason for initiating a divorce - means he is acting merely on suspicion and supposition in the face of his wife’s denials. She may well have cheated but as is sometimes the case perhaps the husband is wrong. He does indicate that she has emotionally abandoned him and the children but that could be worked on and the shock of a divorce petition could act to shake her awareness. In other words, in 750 of them in fact, you have raised enough questions that warrant a real expansion of this couple’s story and I hope you use this interesting fragment to give us readers the opportunity to learn the fuller story. Thanks!

This short is the perfect example of why, ultimately, thosw 750-worda challenges are rarely perfect.

Because, yeah, the MC doesn't have to give a single reason as to why he wants to divorce his worthless wife... but, with YOUNG CHILDREN involved, this dissolution will be anything, but simple. It's probably would have been a better tale it this was it's conclusion; as it is, it's only the beginning of the middle chapter.

Don't get me wrong: this is undeniably good. It's simply not enough.

For what it is, though... better a little bit of this than nothing, I guess.

short and to the well stated point

There it is! He’s done with her completely. Great little story.

I have to agree with AnonymousAnonymousabout 10 hours ago

One of the few 750-word stories that actually tell enough of the story so you have the who, what, where and why. It's complete. Well done 4-stars.

Yes, there's just enough info shown to make it a real story. I'm not saying it's a really good story, mostly because I dislike 750 word stories, due to their lack of detail. But this one is different enough in that it does have just enough detail (barely) to make it a story. The who, what, and where are there, as are the main characters for a story. I've read 2000+ word stories that didn't have as much detail or information that this one did. Great job on it, as it's very tough to do a good story with a minimum amount of words. And YES, I did give it 5 stars.

Great story.

Out of all the 750 word stories I've read, this one gave just enough information for my imagination to confabulate a comprehensive narrative. Not only that, the characters were 3-dimensional, all based on the husband's rant.

Meh!

Bill S.

I liked what was included.

But so much wasn't.

4 out of 5 from me.

so she got the im not happy divorce that men get all the time

Lol! It was simple, clean and efficient. Not as dramatic as most stories, but this one made me laugh because of that. Nice work.

Thank you for sharing your efforts with us, I appreciate it. Your story does leave me with a question? Which is more important, telling the tale or staying under 750 words? I thought it was a good story. I thought it could have been be good or even excellent, however that would have required more words.

Not bad for what there was.

I am enjoying your writing very much. Thanks!

4 stars from Xluckylee

We don't know if he had proof or not. He didn't need it, so why waste time showing it.

She had cheated emotionally, cheated her daughters as well as hubby out of time. She so much as admitted that and more.

This story only gets a 4*, due to not burning Gustav's ass! Or a Part2 is needed.

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4**** Hooyah

Short got my interest and dropped.

5 stars for the kids being told about her cheating. And for good writing! :)

As far as this story went it was good, but I would love to see the Author continue this one.

Was he correct in his accusations, if he was, it probably needs no further story but if he was wrong and it hadn't gotten to an affair, it would be interesting to see how she shows her hubby that, proves herself if you like

Well done

To the anon a few posts below ranting about no proof. That's actually the realistic part of this story. In the real world, anyone who's in a long term relationship and knows their partner, knows when they are cheated on. You don't need to have psychic powers, just basic social awareness. Anyone who has been with a woman for a long time and can't sense when she's getting ready for a man or returning from having been with one, need to re-evaluate their grasp on reality. It's only in these stories you need cameras, sound, and a whole CIA squad for a divorce. IRL, most of that shit is illegal anyway.

OK, like this guys decisiveness and determination to end a failed relationship, espeicially w/it based on feelings and intuition. That just doesnt worl for fwemales. Do agree w/"KRD19254", get some justice from the predator/lover/stud/AH and the rating goes up to 5*/s. rk

Love the self-contained, internally logical stories! Well done!

Poor ending.

Shitty ending, no ⭐️s.

Short sharp and to the point, nice one.

enjoyed the read. Thanks for your writing.

I do not like the"undef 750 word" stories simply because there never is a story,simply an explanation or documentation of an event..simply not anything a reader can emmerse into. But it still rates ...3stars..JZK

As a developed story this could have been very good.

This is like a canned speech. Kind of boring.

"Proof? OK, I'll send you and everyone you know, including your parents, some proof. B' bye."

Excellent! Nice to have a story where the MC understands that it doesn’t matter whether there was penetration or not. Regardless, she prioritized another person over her husband. She didn’t “forsake all others.” She chose someone else. I just hope that he documented her actions to show her abandonment of her children so that he gets sole custody.

ZK

Second read for me.

And I've changed my ratings.

This is just too beautifully written for a 4.

So top ratings from me.

Once again I must tell you I love your short stories - concise and to the point.

Now that's the way to do it! 5 Stars

So I am reading your stories and this is the first one I didnt give a good review. Just not filled out enough......no body and a limp ending. Whole thing just made me shrug my shoulders and I was disappoint for the first time. Your stories up to this one .....all made me eager to read the next. Oh well.....lets continue down the list.

Five stars. Short, to the point. Could have had, but did not really need, a little BTB at the end.

Good short story but this one does feel like it needs to be a bit longer to fill in some of the gaps. It just doesn't feel as complete as others of your short ones. But it's still good. BardnotBard

His proof is when she said “you have no proof”.

Well done. It would be nice if you expand you story with her part of the story. 750 words are not necessary it you follow it up. I gave it Five stars ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐