by Devotedadmirer
Good job, dirt bag. You acted like a creepy stalker. Rather than allay her fears and let her get comfortable with being nude in public for the first time you made her question her own sanity for ever thinking she might have a pleasant experience with it.
She probably stayed in her room and text messaged the rest of her vacation, just to avoid sleazy old slobs like you.
but a beginner needs to start with the support of a friend (preferably experienced friend) when going full fledged into something new like this. There will always or at least often be someone like him, again possibly a first timer but a heavy duty extrovert going for his pleasure above all, and no concern for the feelings of others. Someone like him could have wound up at a beach with everyone experienced and with someone who could/would have told him to tone it down.
Believe it or not, I agree with your comments, completely. My only suggestion is . . . remember this is only chapter one of a 40+ chapter novel. Our "hero" has much to learn and he'll begin learning his first lesson in chapter two. I think you'll be pleased with his "punishment."
Hang in there just a bit longer, friends. There is more thought (and more lessons) in this long novel than you can realize quite yet.
Regards,
Devotedadmirer
Why would you waste your time writing a story about a total immature idiot of 40?.
the Ct. Yankee
I won't sign on to the comments of the first anonymous writer, who seemed to believe this is a true story. But I will say the narrator did come off as a creepy stalker. While I get that you plan to "punish" him in the next chapter, I'm not sure you can redeem him. There's an "ick" factor that's hard to shake.