All Comments on 'No Hard Feelings'

Thanks for sharing.

Liked it ..unfortunetly there is a lot of truth in this story.

YAWN!

2*

The story was good but can you developp a little bit the epilogue cause it fell flat for me . it does insinuate that they got a divorce, but what happened during that one month period, did he confront her about the lies of "getting together again" ?

How... realistic.

Fav-ing. And 5-stars

There's no swinging/sharing or adultery - should be in Non-Erotic or Apathetic Wives.

The ending was so confusing and disappointing. If he felt she was not trying why not talk about it to her? The story held my interest, but when it finally got to the end when all loose ends should be tied up, the threads just faded away. A 3 story with a 1 ending.

What did they see in each other that caused them to get married in the first place? It doesn't sound like there was any more passion in their relationship even at the beginning, let alone now. So how did they manage to have children?

The husband seems like a real jerk, and like he always has been.

Their adult children have had no input into. and concerns about, the state of their parents' marriage, and how it seemed to be going? That would be more realistic than this improbable fantasy. In real life, the jerk husband would have exited long before this.

If she hated motorways, why did she have a problem with the scenic route? Those are the usual two options.

Why wait for retirement? Once the kids were gone, sell the house and go your separate ways while your still young enough to enjoy it!

"I resigned from my job" - I thought he lost his job? Losing is different than resigning.

"T-that didn't go well," - It didn't? How much better did she expect it to go? Oh, she expected him to "fight" for them, when SHE deserted them years ago!

I don't know why he didn't try Viagra or counseling for his performance problems.

Definitely petered (no pun intended!) out at the end, but maybe that's symbolic of the state of their marriage.

The story started to sound just like my life - in fact the timeline matches my marriage almost to the day. Friends without benefits for nearly twenty years. Perhaps this is a peek into our future?

If you were in the states I’d swear you wrote this about me.

What was Martha really after? After 20+ years of placing her husband in the rubbish bin, why on earth was she trying to pull him out now? Something ain't Kosher here....

Of course, anyone who stays in a loveless corner of Hell like that for 20+ years deserves everything they get. I'm looking at you, Martin!

Looking forward to reading more of your works, thanks!

A sad tale of empty lives and quiet defeat, but well done.

Although the quality of the writing didn't seem up to your usual standards. Dropped words, some poor spelling and a couple of other noticeable mistakes detracted from the story. I was glad that he realized she hadn't suddenly changed her ways. Seems like a long time to waste in a person's life, but I'm sure that it happens in real life. "For or because of the kids" is a familiar refrain. Nice to see a new story from you.

To many marriages end up this way. Sad.

Your story reminded me of my relationship with my ex wife. We were still living together when I took a one month holiday in Vietnam. In my last week of the holiday I met a Vietnamese woman through a mutual acquaintance. When I introduced myself we shook hands and an electrical like charge surged through my body. I later learned she experienced the same feeling.

Long story short we communicated a few times before I returned home and then carried on for 8 months before I returned to Vietnam. When I had arrived back from Vietnam my wife and I had a series of conversations and agreed to divorce.

My relationship with the woman in Vietnam has flourished. To find true intimacy , affection and love again has been a life saver. She is a truly wonderful,intelligent,beautiful,generous and loving woman and we plan to marry. The only complication and it is my problem not hers is that she is 28 years my junior.

when its over, 4 stars

I agree with @sbrooks103x...Too many issues in this sad story...However it's not bad...3*

The idea of spending 20 miserable years in a loveless coupling, even for the sake of the children...

You seriously have to be a miserable person to begin with to allow yourself in live like that. Rather be die, frankly.

The very notion of divorce, of admitting the failure of your relationship, must scare the shit out of some people. Martin claimed they've grown apart, but, really, those two weren't that close from the get-go. They seemed to have hook-up for the same reason they've stayed together, when the love was gone: out of laziness.

Give this to Spencer: he promised us one sad tale, and boy did he deliver! Not saying it was an enjoyable read, though...

Even in my early 20's (I'm in my mid-40's now) I thought relationships should be for a maximum of 4 years with an option to renew for three more thereafter. If things are good you keep renewing. Obviously, if you have kids then renewal time periods should be longer and more reason to stay. That way you won't have the inertia of simply being together in misery like this couple in this story. You have to make a concerted effort to stay together, with each member of the couple being intuned to the others' needs. Too much opportunity to get lazy in a relationship and take the other for granted when it's automatically assumed the other will be around for life no matter what. Weight gain, distraction, less effort in being a good lover, etc.

So many of these LW stories the wife isn't into sex. In my experience women are much more into sex than men. If they have good/great sex. If they are not getting good sex (and women's sexuality is obviously more complicated than us men) then they may accomodate their man for a while, but after a while they're going to become resentful and not be affectionate towards their man. Women will probably accomodate their man sexually, even if he is a shitty lover, if he is providing for her other needs in other areas for a while. But even that will have its end eventually. So all these stories that want to blame the woman for being cold or sexually unavailable should really take the time to explain why she had become uninterested sexually. But I guess these stories being written by men it's a mystery to them.

But sad

Two mismatched people, trapped in a loveless marriage.

And very well told, too.

but not together, TK U MLJ LV NV

If a woman isn’t really interested in sex with her husband, it’s because her husband hasn’t made sex interesting for his wife.

Forget ‘modern’ culture: women have been pursued, and have expected to be pursued, for all of recorded history, and most women expect the man to initiate sex,even when the women want it. They expect men to seduce them, even after marriage, and want as experience worth having.

But if the man has succeeded with the seduction, but hasn’t made ‘giving in’ worthwhile for the woman, is it any surprise when the women stop being interested in being seduced, at least by the husband who has failed them so many times before? That’s when the Martian Slut Ray works best, when the husband isn’t taking care of business.

Story just seemed to die like their marriage. Seems she quit twenty years earlier. He made the effort, but she didn't even try. Sad, but probably all too true story.

What a strange and depressing story!

Both seemed too lazy too end

this disappointing relationship

and too uninterested to breathe life into it.

Comments hint, that this kind

of relationship might not be that unusual.

I say life is too short to waste it like this.

I wouldn't even want either of those people

as friends!

Now, I don't know what was the meaning

of writing this story.

Not being negative here, just being puzzled.

Too puzzled to rate it too.

Thanks Spencerfiction for your input.

You sure know how to surprise us

with unusual stories :).

It’s ALWAYS the man’s fault huh?!? They’re GROWN ASS WOMEN and should EQUALLY share in the responsibilities of keeping sex interesting and frequent in the marriage/relationship! Not all women are raised with the same one-sided, bullshit ideas where men should do ALL the work, ALL the persuing, ALL the romancing and ALL the initiating of ANY and ALL intimacy! BULLSHIT I SAY!

The really sad thing is they are set in their ways and will not change. They broke up and now live alone and the day they die they will be still alone. They will live the same way doing the same things they always did and it would been better if they stayed together after so long. There marriage was dead long ago but learned to live together and not tear each other up so what is wrong living as room mates, millions do but they have one up on most people, they learned how to live together for twenty years. If they wanted to date others then make a deal but they never had interest in doing that. And when they die it will be days if not week's before anyone gets the police to check on their dead bodies.

Feels real, been through some thing similar. She had been dialing in our marriage for a while I heard 'lets get this over with' our marriage lasted only a few years longer.

Like one reader pointed out "bullshit". In today's modern world women have every responsibility in insuring their own sexual satisfaction. Some men are not experienced enough to satisfy a woman, so a little help from the spouse is not out of line. That may have been true at the first of the last century, but not today. To make a marriage work, be it sexual or otherwise it takes two to tango and participate. Blaming the man is a cop out.

This marriage was over a long time ago and both are to blame. Open honest discussions was missing for a long time. You can't resolve a problem unless you're willing to talk about it and find a solution.

I don't believe either one of us said that 100% of the fault of the woman not being into it sexually is the man's fault. To clarify my point, if a woman is not into it sexually, I believe a majority of the time it's because she isn't getting enough out of it from her partner to make it worthwhile for her. Yes, she can help him learn, but a lot of men have egos and their attitude is I already know how. They are resistant to be trained as they equate their sexuality with their manhood. Also, sexuality is not all about skill, which can be taught, but also attitude, romance and feelings. Teaching that to a guy that doesn't feel it, will only make him kind of fake the whole thing with her. Receiving roses from her man means something to a woman not because of the aesthetics of the roses (which she could buy for herself otherwise), but because she gets the perception that he was thinking of her and is into her. If she tells him buy me roses sometimes, surprise me sometimes, and he does it to get some ass does it really satisfy her need of being romanced?

Being a man I can only equate it to what it would be like for me. If I was with a woman that every time before I came she said stop, stops the sexual interaction and rolls over and goes to sleep then after a while I'm not even going to get sexually excited during the whole thing because there is no pay off at the end, but only frustration. In the beginning if I love her I may indulge her for a while, thinking she is going to get it after a while, but eventually I will become very resentful towards her and not want her to touch me. So resentful that I may not even want to talk about it or teach her because too much resentment has built up. I think that's what happens with a lot of women, especially when they marry young. In the beginning, they are in love with their man and get a lot of gratification in satisfying him, and are selfless about it. By the time their resentment is built they just don't want to have much to do with him sexually, and see sexual interaction as a chore.

Now for me if a woman is not a good sexual partner I would not be in a relationship to start with. But for a lot of women if the man is nice, treats her well, etc, she ignores his sexual shortcomings for a while (again, especially when married young) but when her horniness goes up with age then her sexual gratification plays a much bigger role.

Also, the other part is that with time both partners may put less energy into sex. The difference is though that us men are easy so the woman doesn't have to have her A game on for the sexual interaction to be satisfactory. Whereas, for a woman if the guy is not bringing his A game once in a while, and at least B most of the time, she may not be getting enough sexually out of it. So even if he may have satisfied her at the beginning of the relationship when he was really putting in an effort and was truly into her sexually, he may not be doing that anymore. Again, creating the same problem for his woman. Maybe she brings it up to him (if she realizes what is happening to start with) and for a while he picks up his game, but eventually may become lackadaisical about it again. So she may give up and just give up on that part of their relationship.

You cannot guilt people, or obligate people into doing something long term. There has to be a payoff for them to keep something up.

@Reed: Viagra doesn't do a damn thing when the woman isn't into being with you and shows it. For a marriage it's the ultimate rejection. I can't even bring myself to touch my wife anymore. And for those who believe we don't deliver enough she's had orgasms anytime she actually let herself go.

This is my life. Hit retirement and haven't been intimate in 5 years. I finally said screw it, she can come to me. HA HA yeah right. .......Meet the GREAT PUSSY DESERT

Before that 25 years of 3-4 times a year. Kids and finances kept us together but now..... Do I want to spend the few years I've got left looking for companionship or do I accept the friend (yes despite everything she's an awesome friend) without benefits and fade into old age.

Strangely enough she sat me down today (deja vu anyone) and told me she loves me and wants to make more of an effort to be intimate. Yeah....as the author said..... is there enough of a runway for that pig to take off?

@author 4* It hit home a little too hard.

ReedRichards, that may be the funniest pile of bullshit I've read in a while. Do you actually believe that drivel you spouted, or is it just to play devil's advocate?

4*DU5

Seriously.... You do realize it takes TWO people in the marriage to make it work. That includes the bedroom. Im sorry but your type of male pisses me off. You must have loved that article that some beta wrote how he became a feminist by letting his wife fuck around and come home and tell him about it. You can only do so much before you quit trying when the other party is not putting effort into the relationship in anyway shape or form. she claims to be an adult woman, but she is merely an old female(you have to earn the title of woman or lady just like you do man or gentleman) She is not a woman at all, just a self deluded twit. if this were real he shouldve divorced her 14 years ago. I read your comment Reed and it wasnt even well thought out, which isnt a shocker as it has no basis in reality or facts. Nice work on the story spencer you usually do quite well i give it a 4.Lost a point for putting up with her shit for 14 years being miserable

Of course Reed would set 90% on men. That's because he can't see women as grownups or equals, except for when they are selfishly stealing husbands life or money. I know a couple where wife was a stone for 30 years. Laying in hospital with cancer she told her husband who had cared for.her that "oh she did love him and they would have sex again when she returned home!" She never did return. Luckily husband despite being 65 met a 43 year old woman who chased him down and told him that he taught her what love was and had an active kinky.nothing held back sex.

Ten years it's been. Sexual thoughts about her are hard to come by when she has turned from a fun 113 pound partner into a prudish 200 pounder. I patted her rear one day and got a lecture about her private spaces. Try starting something when that is the response! I can't touch her but she gets insanely jealous and preachy if I pay attention to any other woman.

The worst thing about it is I will have to support her until she dies no matter what!

She doesn't have to do a thing, just breathe and complain about her life.

R.

I never understand why readers on here get so up set about a fictional character/S in a fictional story !

There is some elements of truth in this story especially were women go through the menopause. My was a complete cow and went off sex and we did have sex for over 2 years. Then to only blame me for not being interested in sex any more !

Yes I could have divorced her, and maybe I should have. She was ill and needed support, though if She was like wife character in this story I would have left years ago !

Keep writing spencerfiction

Haven't kept it up for three years now, though I love my wife dearly. Her negativity and complaining leave me not even wanting to try. Hate to give such a downer a 5, but it deserves even more for the writing.

Realistic story. Very well written.

No hard feelings. hell id be pissed. he tried and she didn't lift a finger of effort so good on him for leaving her ass, he should've done it sooner. like the story I read here about a wife who sees nothing wrong with not being affectionate or having sex and refuses to see or seek any help to try to deal with it. just time to move on

Going with the flow and not upsetting her got him exactly nothing. But he can’t exactly blame her entirely... During the 20 dry years, he just shut down. Sure she shut down first, but he basically sulked for 20 years. He could have tried talking more, or suggested counseling, or any number of things - and ended it sooner.

Well written illustration of a stubborn couple refusing to communicate, taken to the extreme.

Not only that happened to me, but unless I said something first, when I arrived home from work, we wouldn't talk.

It sounds like the end was a long time coming. I've come to view appreciating another person as a deliberate choice. You make it or you do not. Some are easy and some are hard, but everyone is complex. To appreciate them is to dive into their complexity. Some spouses just don't want to do it.

You can't clap with one hand.

First, you stay for the children.

Then you stay out of habit.

In the end you stay to save a few dollars while life continues to pass you by with no affection.

A little nodding, a little folding of hands, and before you know it, times up.

An all pervading feeling of loss, waste & sadness.

A bit too close to home as well. Sounds very familiar, a love of F1 racing, real ale, redundancy, no real love, sleeping in the spare room, waiting for the hammer to fall & not really caring if/when it will happen. Two strangers sharing the same house, the same children, the same food but nothing else.

Depressing and sad... ennui doesn't play well for pensioners.

A nicely written, sad story of a marriage dying. It is a nice change of pace that there was no cheating, that led to the end of their marriage. Still, their drifting apart, through their neglect of their marriage, is a very sad tale. Nicely done.

-

Pasqual

"Spitting up would give me the freedom to do what I wouldn't dream of doing if I still lived here"

Oh that sounds so bloody real, nicely put,