All Comments on 'No Pressure Pt. 01'

You lost me in 2 paragraphs with the they, their thing. It's very confusing to read.

Like the two main characters you’ve created — believable and imperfect — and the “fits and starts” of getting to know each other. Can actually feel the frustration and even tension that finally gives way to sex that mirrors in some ways how they got to where they are — in bed making out in “fits and starts”. The entire piece feels real in the moments they are together whether upset or in bed. I believe that you could have achieved the same and possibly more by editing down/shortening the piece. Some description passages and some introspection whether on/off the field or in/out of bed undermine the flow of the piece. Sometimes felt a bit too therapeutic as well. Do hope you share Kelsey’s POV. Liked this first chapter; thanks for sharing.

Thanks! I’m looking forward to reading more of this story - please keep writing. I thoroughly enjoyed reading a consistent genderqueer story.

Great first story! Low the slow burn build-up to what I knew was coming. Keep writing and sharing.

Loved the example of care for one’s partner and consent while still writing a hot story

I get the folx/they/them stuff. But I agree, it is hard to read it..i did finish though, and enjoyed it other than that.

It was a good first story. The gender neutral terms did take a little getting used to at first. But that's not on you. That is just not what I'm used to when I read. I would like to know why Beckett calls Sam and Sophie their moms when it was pointed out that they were only a decade older than Beckett.

One bit of criticism. Please try to stick to one size font. I don't know if that was on your end or something Lit did when they put the story up. The smaller font that the story switched to partway through is difficult to read when you are reading on a phone. At least if you set the story to phone width to read.

I like the characters. They come across as very real, with real insecurities. Well done. Thank you for sharing. I look forward to reading more.

Well done. None binary is complex to wright and make it feel ordinary. Mostly due to people reading more so then your skill level. Keep up the good work.