All Comments on 'No Secrets Pt. 01'

Well done, great start and hopefully the next chapter will be equally good.

Nice beginning....Do we all show up here tomorrow night? :+))

If you can't make it, I'll try to keep Liz feeling appreciated! :+)))

Damn I loved it. Sounds so familiar. Dearly hoping you don't make us wait to.long for the next chapter.

Dragonrider55

Loved it! Hot, sexy and had great descriptions!

A good start. Nice development of the characters however if you write in ‘history’ then it should stand up to inspection. When the character was 18 there was very severe rationing in the UK so shepherds pie and stew would have been very rare, especially on consecutive days. The clothing that Liz wore was highly unlikely. Stockings were like hens teeth. A short skirt would still be below her knees and the lad would have been conscripted into the armed forces not been doing odd jobs before going into an apprenticeship. Minor point I know but research for stories is as much fun as creating them. Good start, keep it up.

If Trevor is 18, why hasn't he been conscripted into the forces?

Nice premise.

The sex, when it happens, happens too quickly.

She lets him feel her breasts. OK. Fine. But why so little desctiption of what it was like for her? She moaned. That's it.

She exposes and plays with his cock. Boom. He cums. That's it? Nothing about her technique? No conversation about how it feels to him? No asking him if he masturbates? How often? When was the last time? What does he think about when he masturbates? Does he ever think about her? He cums, and it's over almost before it starts. What was the rush?

Four stars.