All Comments on 'Not On The List (In 750 Words)'

Nice but average. AAA++

Pow! Right in the kisser.

5

This had the makings of a longer story. Good one.

Very good. 5⭐

Outstanding!! 5 stars, but it needs more, as has been suggested. Please, more? The Bear is waiting.

The BEAR

Not average diecast, in fact, quite original. I give it a 5, since point whatevers are irrelevant.

Gotta hand it to you, that was a great original story. I loved it!! PERFECT!

Right to the point, why waste time.

Setting aside the obvious legal violations....that was freaking brilliant!

Loved the ending.

Leaves a lot hanging out there. Probably a good thing. D

These are hard to pull off! Well done. 4.7*

Cute, nice job. thanks

Nice compact story

I liked it!

Solidly interesting

Nice!

I love everything you're written. I am also impressed that you've stuck to the 750-word limit for all of them.

Please keep writing!

nice

Nice, for a 750 word story, though need to ignoring a couple of inevitable plot issues like HIPPA (assuming that this is in the US). Also, he and wife apparently haven't had sex in quite a while (I have no idea of the reporting requirements, but maybe months?) if he's not on the list, so perhaps this shouldn't be a total surprise.

just love this tale. no nitpicking here

So my question: did the poor fellow wind up with the gift that keeps on giving or not? That list is more important than what she ADMITS TO.

Very strong for such a short story.

A total waste on 750. This one is so good it should have been a full length feature!! 5&FAV

Bravo! So much conveyed in so few words. Thank you!

Not plausible. First, Theresa is part part of a medical practice and all patient information is confidential per HIPAA laws. Her divulging a client's medical information would be grounds for major lawsuits. The wife may still be getting divorced but she will be freaking rich from the divorce settlements and the lawsuits against the medical practice for divulging the information.

Nice, short and to the point. The MC was lucky not to have had sex with her recently.

This was a bit novel on MC's discovery of his cheating wife. Five star.

Brilliant!

A very good one.

Gave me a good chuckle. All that needs to be said.

Very, very good. Well done.

Nice one. 4

Well done, when constrained to 750 words.

I don't believe I'm saying this but I just gave this 5 stars. It is one of the very, very few 750 word stories that actually works. Bravo to the author, this was genius.

Well it could have been a great story, too bad it was wasted on the 750 word cap

I like the last line. It put the fifth star on my rating.

Needs more??? Do you also need your mum to wipe your arse for you.

The situation here is incomprehensible to me. Did his wife cut him off from marital sex and therefore not put him on the list? Then what kind of happy marriage is it? Or did she not include him in the list of her sexual partners in order to hide the fact of her venereal disease from him? But what's the point if, without his treatment, she will get the same disease back from him over and over again. Can someone explain to me the meaning of the plot?

Man that was a scorcher of a 750. I really want to read more.

Think you need to change your handle to 750 words only as far as I can tell that's about as much as you can write, short swift stories but does lack depth in all of them, try expanding more, try ending better and stock it our for crikes sake, 750 words are good as a starter but sticking to them makes it boring to read

Oh man.

The ending had more qyestions.

1. Did she tried to explain her cheating?

2 Did he divorced her or did the wife allowed him to have sex with any woman to even things up?

/

I guess the writer wants me to make my own ending

I didn't hate it... ;)

Clever

Original AND funny! Good job!

Too many holes make this tale too much incomplete to be enjoyable. This could have been a really good tale with at least one half page more. This excessive 750-words trend is destroying the quality of these LW tales.

Epilogue: Instead of a divorce Charlie convinced his empty headed cheating skank slut wife he wanted to make amends and start over. He took her on a nice vacation to Mexico where he was paid 5K from a Mexican cartel to own her whore ass. They made it look like a disappearance and they paid the cops to look the other way. Sweet wife now works in a Tijuana whore house. When the abducted her they let hubby give her a goodbye kiss. He laughed his ass off as she pleaded with him not to do it. He slapped the bitch so hard she saw stars. She screamed and begged as they led her away but he didn't give one flying fuck about the whore. He lived happily ever after. Her... not so much.

A rare five stars 750 word story from me. I wonder how the test worked out?

JPB

So much for HIPPA. I wonder how she’s going to like being sued. And he takes the word of a woman he hasn’t seen in 3 years without talking to his wife?

This story literally makes no sense.

WOW! great job .

Wow. Major HIPPA violation. Why would anyone want to get involved with any one who has such a lack of morals and ethics.

The wife would have ruined her career. She would never become a nurse after that.

Yes, a clear and concise story. LOL. Thank you. Cheers.

Great pace. Almost as clean as a haiku. More please.

Average, but it works.

@afanoffanlit, the legal problems are more on the wife that she didn't reveal all of her sexual partners, assuming she's fucking her husband. As far as Theresa revealing the wife's diagnosis, that would have been revealed anyway if she had put him on the list as she should have.

@LT56linebacker & @MellowJoe - I'm working on longer stories, but I've surprised even myself with how much I'm enjoying the 750 Word Project. Don't worry, it's about to end for another year, and I'm running out of 750 word ideas, so I'll be focusing on my longer stories soon. They won't come out as quick, but I will keep writing.

I enjoyed it, as it was different. Thank You for sharing it with us.

2 stars. Who cares if you met the word count, we know nothing about the story.

///

Maximum of 3 stars for 750 word scenes, this one earns a 2.

@Unassigned - A good lawyer could probably get her off on this one. While she based her request for a date on HIPAA protected data, she did not actually disclose anything until after he gave her reason to believe that he should have been included on that list. It could be argued that she was seeking clarification of that point and it becomes a question of does HIPAA protect fraud that stops the health department from doing their job.

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@CrazyDaveTrucker60 - Unfortunately, he is still waiting for the test results.

Fun. Unique. Great story and cuck free

He should bring charges against the slut wife. She endangered his health. Go to the police, and fuck up her life!

ZK

You got the most out of 750 words. Bravo.

why do you have a divorce tag when there was no divorce in the story?

Good 750 word story, it had it all…..

Thanks for writing.

loved it best one yet

Good newish way to find out, but he should protect the nurse

Enjoyed the story, and you left room for a follow up. Thanks for your writing.

What a lovely fantasy and possibly the kindest way to learn your wife is cheating. I liked it.

Nice.

It's always nice to see a writer's work improve.

You see it in this story.

A well worked (though short) plot.

And a good answer to the slut's last question.

4 out of 5 from me.

Interesting, but feels incomplete.

Loved it, clean, crisp with a great (informed) ending (albeit tongue-in-cheek twist).

One of the best 750 I’ve read.i liked how story progressed. It started out vaguely and then it was all there!

Very well done.

Excellent. 5 Stars.

I voted 5 star. Hehe. It’s an easy reading story, but the plot is -at least to me- new. Hence 5 stars.

@everybody - If you want me to take your HIPAA comments seriously, don't refer to it as HIPPA...

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@Mibal_Zahari - I appreciate the feedback, but I have to disagree with your conclusions. I've touched on the other elsewhere, so I'll just point out that HIPAA does not apply to anything her husband might have said and thus he would not be harmed in the divorce settlement for it. Instead, she would be harmed by displaying malice aforethought in hiding her STI and his possible exposure to it from him.

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@Impossiblefuture - I do have longer stories I'm working on and will be posting. I had originally planned on only posting one or two before adding some full length stories but the thrill of letting others read my stories and getting feedback was a bit more addictive than expected, so I ended up focusing on the 750 Word Project going on. It will be over soon, which is good as I'm running out of 750 word story ideas.

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@Mac_Lapu & @lujon2019 - I didn't come right out and say it, but since Theresa wanted a date after the divorce was final and he's planning out that date, it's strongly implied that he will be getting divorced.

Looks like she made a decision, but didn't tell him. If she has a list, he shouldn't have the HO anyway! I'm coming, Theresa, honey!

Nice!

Another great 5 stars from Xluckylee for a great 750 story.

... Seriously, though: Theresa maybe fun for a day or two, but, long term, she sounds too stupid to take seriously. Who the hell drop such a bomb on someone like that!?

Oh well. Nice flash nonetheless.

5 well-earned stars.

I really liked this essay.

Imagine what you could do with a part 2.

Have a nice day

You wrote that and it was a damn good little story. I enjoyed it.

So divorce or RAAC ? 5* or 1* ?

Another pointless fragment of a story, with just a small body questions without answers, so almost useless: divorce ? STI ? What happened next ?

Incomplete yes but funny as hell. I'll give you 5 stars on it.

for lujon2019 why do you ask stupid questions

Certainly nothing else need be said. Five stars.

750 word stories should have a different scale, but at least they are frequently well-labeled.

Good concise story!

Excellent execution, splendid finish 5 stars

Novel. No mention though of how he couldn't even be on her sexual contact list without there having been some mention of their troubled marriage.

Okay, I guess. Though, I'm wondering why writers even bother anymore. These short-ass stories are boring af because there's no time to develop anything.

Good on him! Not so good on the wife.

But I'm sure he'll do just fine with Theresa giving him all the TLC he'll need to move on.

Perfect.

We have a new 750 word Champion.

Your short works just keep getting better.

Would love to see what you could do with 10k Words.

That was good.

Short and sweet. Now you need to make a part 2 where he burns the cheating slut to the ground.

Well done flash story. Don't let anyone bully you into writing more, this story is 5 stars just the way it is.

Cool and different! 5*

Hopefully, Theresa will enjoy the Italian restaurant. Once she begins her prison sentence for unauthorized disclosure of privileged personal health information, there wont be any nights out for 5 to 7 years.

Love it!

Gotta' love a happy ending. 😁