All Comments on 'Not What I expected - 750 words'

Why waste the writing space?

fast, simple, but fair.

5⭐

Thanks for sharing your talent.

A very average story. AA++

its best to do so asap or sooner. TK U MLJ LV NV

This needs to be expanded or a follow up story.

Short but needs a part 2

Not enough here to make the read worth the time or effort.

Sometimes 750 words is way too short. You can do a follow up and expand with a little emotion. This read more like a summary.

Short but pointless. Nothing different than hundreds of other LV stories of husband coming home early from a trip.

750 word stories need to be written in a style that enhances the intrigue. This reads like an outline of a longer story.

Thanks for your effort. However, as you said a lot was left out. I thought that this was more of an more of outline than a complete story. Perhaps you should stop listening to those who are telling you your stories are too long, OR, write it your way and give it to an editor(s), asking that person what what what they think. Good luck!

Short, needed more of the pain the wife had to go through. Husband acted as if his dog had bed lock up for two days and now he had to clean up the mess

Needs a sequel. Great start with lots of unanswered questions.

Don’t let other dictate you style of story telling. Let your art and creativity be an expression of you. If you let others bully you into doing things their way you will lose the joy you get from writing.

Grammarian here - she is adulterous but is an adulteress.

"He found out she was an adulterous!" I *really* don't think that means what you think it does. One too many hooked on phonics courses? :-)

While not overly engaging, you did manage to say about as much as most cheating and discovery of cheating stories say but in much fewer words. So a good exercise in writing for sure.

If you want to try actually make the super short story format work for you, have the story be less of an outline and more of a perfectly taken picture, a snapshot of a scene where you can go into detail of the moment you want to convey. Super Short stories like that can be really fun to read and are good examples of how to build character and relationships in a limited amount of words.

I love short stories but after reading the expanded version (which is by definition also a short story) this 750 word version now pales in comparison. Still a good story but lacking in many important and germane details. Great writing.

Good story idea, I hope the extended version takes it a little deeper into the story.

Needs a sequel

To short at the end

...you brought in the father, which in itself doesn’t need explaining, but the father knew about the cheating? That does need explaining.

Not bad.

But as with many flash stories

left questions unanswered.

Most of them concerning Dave Niven.

On to the longer version now for me.

4 out of 5 from me.

In a nutshell and well implemented. Good work!

3 stars - this story was OK - but you need an editor, or someone else to edit it, before posting - there were numerous grammatical errors.

FTDS!

(Inconsiderate) fragment of a tale. Author was having a trial run, don't you think?

Author was trying to gauge reader sentiments, fluency of narrative skills, or just basic testing of the Literotica CheatingWives scene.

Summarizing,

The wife was ccccommmittting a-a-a-dultery (what do you, Author San, mean by "My Wife was an Adulterous!"? Adultersous WHAT??)

So, wifey was doing it pretty openly. Her workplace people (She had a cushy job with A SECRETARY to BOOT! ^O^) knew it, her own folks knew it, all except Hubby who was the long trips away sort of absent spouse.

Her lover wasn't the usual her boss, or a friend of her boss, but! A friend of HIS boss... who didn't have to travel so much. Sounds like an arrangement between his Boss, the friend David Niven (were you hoping to bring in the James Bond guy, eh?) and the (maybe reluctant) spouse.

Despite all of the above which, she (as well as her parent) has the temerity to show very perceptible remorse! Where was the CERTAIN, SILENCING shame they knew they'd be made to feel when the affair was sure to alight on hubby's cognizance?

It's supposed to be out of character for Brazenly slutty wife to show AUDACITY in trying to reach out to placate (cucked) husband, is it not? And as brazen as she is, she sticks to form and does it.

I suspect she's trying to pull some more wool over his eyes, hoping beyond hope to reinforce his simp-hood.

Enough said.

Incidentally, Wifey may need to contrarily thank Hubby for channelizing the lover toward her, the one and ultimate good he'd ever do her even as their relationship ends.

Many *s

That's it?

Not a story really, more like a 1/2 page fragment.

Adulterous is the behaviour. Adulteress is the person.

Incomplete

Pathetic

Yes it was too short,much missing,but rather have that then repitious dialog of excuses/reasons both ways and the husband looking for/finding ways/reasons for taking her back.Nothing worse than long winded prior history of pre marriage that is not relievant to the situation at hand. Now, in between the long and short version is ideal....4 stars...little more fill its a 5....left reader wanting more.....JZK

Poorly written

Standard fare. Writing was stilted.

Hmmmm ! Gave it a 1 for effort. Too short, no reasons why anything happened. Father in law knew ? Strange ! Ending sucked. Did you get tired of writing ?

A couple of out-of-context scenes without any backstory. Why and what lies ahead need to be covered.

Well written but too short.

5 Stars

What there was of it, was well written. Intriguing enough would have liked a fleshed out story.

5 stars!... And then you die!