Nothing Else To Do Ch. 02

By the time AJ woke up the next morning, Ian was already at work in his 'home office', the third bedroom of the duplex they rented together. He cleaned up the apartment and made lunch, then knocked on Ian's door when he heard he was between calls.

It was just like it had always been between them. He'd been so nervous, fretting about how they'd approach one another today, all for nothing. Ian didn't bring it up, and neither did he. He went for his daily run, played video games for a while, made dinner, and then wasted time with Ian.

He'd wanted to bring it up all day though. Every time he opened his mouth he wanted to ask Ian about the night before, but he didn't want to ruin anything, either, so he didn't say anything at all. The stress of it finally had his stomach upset enough that he went to bed earlier than normal.

He couldn't sleep. Ten thirty rolled by, then eleven. He heard Ian getting ready for bed at eleven thirty. Shortly after Ian seemed to settle down he heard something. His first instinct was that Ian was hurt, he was moaning softly, but after straining to hear better, he realized Ian was masturbating.

His face grew hot and his dick hard in the same instant. He held his breath, listening to Ian's soft moans. AJ was so hard he ached, and he wanted to touch himself, wanted to jerk off at the same time as Ian, but he couldn't. Years of self-training wouldn't let him.

Ian's moans grew louder, he didn't have to strain to hear him anymore. Sweat beaded on AJ's face as he listened to his roommate beat off. He imagined what Ian looked like in his mind, it was all too easy now. He laughed once, a manic sort of chuckle, then held his breath so he'd be able to hear every sound Ian made.

It was wrong, he knew it was wrong, he shouldn't be this turned on from just hearing his roommate jacking, but he was. He shouldn't be imagining what he looked like with his hand gripping his perfect pornstar dick rolling up and down his shaft in even, rhythmic strokes. But he was. It was beyond arousing.

And also beyond frustrating. He couldn't bring himself to touch his dick, but maybe he could hump the bed? His face burned as he considered it, then immediately disregarded the thought. It felt childish, and also kinda wrong. Well, more wrong than what he was currently doing, at least.

What he really wanted was Ian's hand on his member, and the realization nearly had him coming without even touching himself.

"Oh, shit," Ian moaned. AJ froze, listening intently. "Yeah, oh, that's good. Right there. Suck it, yeah, suck my dick." AJ closed his eyes. He pictured a girl between Ian's legs, a nameless beauty. She swallowed down his massive wand without issue and he pushed his fingers into her hair on both sides of her head.

"Yeah, look at me, just like that." AJ was the girl now, or rather the girl was gone and he was between Ian's legs, his knees on the floor and Ian's magnificence right in front of his face. "Suck it," Ian urged. In his mind he placed his lips on the cockhead. "Fuck, right there!" Ian's hands pulled his head down his shaft. "Don't pull off, I wanna cum in your mouth... Yeah, coming in your mouth!"

Ian came, he could hear his grunts and moans through the wall, and he came as well, without even touching himself. His whole body twitched as he shot off in his underwear.

It took a minute for what he'd done this sink in, and when it did his stomach went sour. He got up and wiped it off, disgusted with himself. He was going to just change, but his shame forced him to shower first.

They only had one bathroom. He snuck out and tiptoed down the hallway, then slipped into the bathroom as quietly as he could. The water was as hot as he could bear it, scalding his skin as he scrubbed his body clean. He couldn't stop his mind from going around in circles.

Hearing Ian jerk off was hot. He wasn't supposed to find his best friend's private bedroom activities hot. But he did. But he shouldn't. It got him off. He shouldn't have been listening. It felt like he'd violated some unspoken house rule. Like he'd violated Ian's privacy. It wasn't like he hadn't heard it before, but it never affected him like this before. Why was it suddenly so arousing?

He knew why, and he forced the memory from his mind. Or tried to, but it was persistent. He dried off and re-dressed, then re-brushed his teeth.

As he brushed, Ian's words just before he came tonight flittered into his head and filled him with a sudden aching to know what Ian's dick tasted like. What would it feel like if Ian came in his mouth? How would it taste?

Dammit, he was fucked up. There was something wrong with him, and it was all his fault. If he hadn't told Ian about his masturbation thing none of this would've happened. He rushed from the bathroom, ready to throw his shameful ass back in bed, then nearly collided head-on with Ian right outside the door.

"Woah!" Ian exclaimed, jumping back.

It wasn't fair how graceful he was, or how hot he was, or how well hung, or even how he didn't seem to be messed up like AJ was. "Sorry," he mumbled, unable to meet Ian's eyes.

"S'okay," Ian said, stepping back. AJ stepped to the side and squeezed past him, so ashamed he couldn't bear to have his friend see him like this. "You okay?"

"Yea," he grunted, then escaped to his room and slammed the door harder than he meant to. He threw himself in bed, then listened for Ian's movements around the older house. It sounded like he stopped in front of AJ's door, and his heart nearly burst. He both longed for and dreaded Ian's knock.

It never came. He heard Ian moving around the apartment for a few more minutes, then it grew silent. He sighed in relief and hated himself for it, for everything.

The next day he made lunch for Ian, but left it outside the office, knocking on the door then disappearing to his own room to eat. He made dinner, then left for his run, leaving Ian his meal with a note. He couldn't trust himself around Ian, not until he got whatever the fuck was wrong with him out of his system.

He ran farther than he usually did, then ended up having to walk back the last two miles. It wasn't cold, but the cool breeze on his drying sweat had him shivering. He didn't want to go back to the apartment, then felt nearly overwhelming guilt at the thought. It wasn't Ian's fault he was messed up.

He walked around the block twice before he went inside, trying to suppress all of his weirdness deep inside so he could be cool around Ian. The last thing he needed was for Ian to think he was going all gay on him or something. He couldn't bear to lose Ian's friendship, not like this.

Ian was in the living area when he finally came inside. "Hey, AJ. Feels like I haven't seen ya all day."

"I guess." He shrugged. "Went for a run."

Ian nodded. "I can tell. Good run?"

"Eh. Long. Went too far, then had to walk back." He shrugged again. "Whatcha playing?"

"Resident Evil Seven," Ian answered, his eyes returning to the screen.

"Didn't you already beat that game?"

Ian nodded without looking away. "Yeah, but I wanna try for a different ending, and Cyber Punk 2077 isn't out yet. Dinner was good, by the way. I didn't realize, like, I mean, we usually eat together, so I didn't get to tell you tonight. It was weird to eat dinner alone, I mean."

"Oh. Sorry. Thanks. Gonna shower," he said, leaving Ian to play his game.

He showered and dressed in the bathroom, then headed to his room, still too ashamed to go hang out with Ian. He scrolled on his phone for a while, then pulled up a stupid mobile game and wasted some time. He looked at his job search sites for any promising leads, but it didn't seem like there were any new supervisory positions since the last time he'd checked. He'd been an assistant manager at Cinemark, and despite the theatre reopening under pandemic restrictions, he hadn't been invited back.

Every supervisory job in the area had hundreds of applicants contending for a handful of positions. He'd only been called once for the dozens of applications he'd put in only to find it was a robocall telling him he wasn't selected. He couldn't afford to go back to minimum wage, but it also was getting to the point where maybe he couldn't not.

He sighed, more than moderately depressed, then put his phone away and stared at the ceiling.

There was a soft knock at the door, followed by Ian calling his name. He didn't say anything, but his whole body tensed. He wasn't in a good place right now, and he didn't want to contaminate Ian with his gloom.

Ian knocked again, a little louder. "AJ? You awake?"

He exhaled and closed his eyes. "Yeah."

"Can I come in?"

He held his breath, then exhaled again, slowly. He really didn't want Ian to see him this way, but he also didn't want to be alone. "Sure."

The door creaked open. Ian stepped forward, then leaned against the door frame. "Hey," he said, looking concerned.

AJ sat up. "Hey."

"You okay?" Ian asked. "You, it feels like you're not okay."

AJ couldn't meet Ian's eyes. "It's just everything, like, all of this. No jobs, no money, the world is over, and I'm fucking worthless."

Ian moved quickly, throwing himself on AJ's bed only a few inches from where his legs were crisscrossed. He rolled onto his side and looked at AJ, who looked away. "You're not fucking worthless."

AJ shrugged. "Can't find a job, Ian. I'm a leech."

"You and a bazillion other people! That doesn't make you worthless!"

He sighed, pulling his legs closer to his body. His mind had been wandering, hoping to feel Ian's body heat through casual touches. "I hate to be this way. Like, I'm not giving back, like there's nothing I can do."

Ian rolled, then sat up next to him, kicking his legs off the edge of the bed. "Listen AJ, shit's bad. Nothing I say's gonna change that. But, you're not fucking worthless. It pisses me off so much when you say that. You're not worthless to me. So what that you can't find work? Neither can anyone else. You here, you're my rock. Like, I feel like things aren't as bad, just cause you're around."

His throat was tight with emotion. "Thanks," he mumbled, picking at his finger. His thumb still hurt from the night before, so he picked his index finger instead. "I just-"

"I know," Ian interrupted. "I know! But, you're not worthless." Ian crossed his arms over his chest. "I, like, I need you. To get through this. My best friend. I feel fucking lucky to live with my best friend while the world is ending."

He felt terrible, but Ian saying he needed him was also sending butterflies to his stomach. "Me too," he agreed, not trusting himself to say anything else.

"Is there anything else?" Ian probed. "Other than all that?"

He shook his head, laser focused on his fingers. "Isn't that enough?"

Ian sighed. "Yeah."

An awkward silence fell between them. Ian cleared his throat. "Yeah. Um. So, like, I've been meaning to ask you, but, like, didn't wanna be weird about it or some shit."

"Ask away," AJ said, hoping he sounded confident, and also nervous as hell about where this might be heading.

"So, like, did, ah. Um, like, what we did the other night, was that, like, did that help or something?"

He had to look up, even though he was so nervous he could die, but Ian wasn't looking at him. "Ah, well... So. Like, no, not really, but it's okay, it's my thing, I know I'm messed up and-"

"You didn't like it?" Ian interrupted. "Or it just didn't help?"

"No, no, I did. It was, I really liked it. I mean, like, it was nice, cause, you know, I hadn't in a while, and uh, like, I mean, I didn't not like it."

"But, it didn't help?" Ian pressed on.

He sighed, then pulled his knees up to his chest and hid his head behind them. "I'm sorry."

Ian exhaled hard. "Fuck. And I was, I thought if I was loud it would help you feel more comfortable," Ian explained. "Last night, I mean. I, when, you know, I took care of myself."

"You wanted me to hear you?" AJ asked, his idiot mouth saying his idiot thoughts before he was prepared to say them. Thoughts he shouldn't be saying aloud at all.

"Um, well, yeah. I guess. I wanted, I mean, I wasn't sure if you were asleep already, but I thought, you know, since you have a thing, that it, like, I hoped it would make you feel better about it. Like, more relaxed."

AJ couldn't trust himself to say anything.

"Fuck. Fuck me. I'm sorry, AJ. I'm dumb. I'm so fucking stupid. Of course that would've just made you uncomfortable. I shoulda, I, fuck. I'm sorry, AJ. I didn't mean'ta-"

"It didn't," AJ interrupted, his voice strained by how tight his throat felt. He cleared his throat and tried again. "I, it didn't make me feel uncomfortable. You're not stupid. Don't say that you are."

"I am!" Ian insisted. "I was torturing you last night! No wonder you're so down today, I blue-balled you again!"

He shook his head, peeking at Ian above his knees. "You didn't."

"What? How? If you still aren't able to jerk off while I'm here, how did I not blue-ball you?" Ian stared at the floor between his feet. "You don't have to lie to make me feel better, AJ. In fact, I don't want you to ever feel like you have to fucking lie to me."

"I didn't, ah. Um. I didn't..." Fuck it. He just needed to say it and get it over with. "I came just from listening."

Ian was silent for a few breaths and AJ's tension rose in time with each ragged inhale. "You came last night?"

He nodded his head, but Ian still wasn't looking at him. "Ah, yea. I guess."

"You guess, or you know?"

He sighed. "I came."

"So you jerked off?" Ian snapped.

He inhaled sharply then shook his head. "I didn't touch myself. I couldn't, even though I wanted to, I still couldn't."

Ian looked up at him now and he hid behind his knees again as Ian sorted out his thoughts. "So you came without touching yourself?" He nodded. "While I was jerking it?" He nodded again, his face burning.

The silence between them felt like a physical barrier. "Sorry."

"Sorry? Fuck, AJ. Jesus, dude. You're so fucking backed up that you didn't even need to touch yourself to get off. Why do you have to be sorry about it?" The mattress tilted slightly, his only indication that Ian had crept a bit closer. His pulse began to climb.

"But, man. Wow," Ian said, sounding thoughtful. "How was it? I've never come without stimulation before."

He shrugged around his knees. "It was... I mean, I came, but... Like, it was, it wasn't satisfying."

The mattress tilted more, then Ian's butt was just barely touching his toes. He battled internally about whether or not to pull away, then it was too late and he just left them where they were. Where their bodies connected sent a pulse of something electric through his system. "So I did blue-ball you."

"I said I came," he insisted.

"No, unsatisfying orgasms aren't acceptable in this house. Was it okay, um, when we did it together? I could do it again for you, if you wanted. If it was good, I mean."

AJ nearly choked. "You wanna do it again? With me? Like, I don't wanna make you feel like you need to, like, you don't hafta, I mean-"

"What if I said I wanted to?" Ian asked.

He swallowed hard. "Do you?"

Ian nodded. "It's hot, that you came just from listening to me jerk it."

He couldn't trust himself to say anything.

Ian swallowed hard, then cleared his throat. "I wanna help you out. Like, if it didn't help when you're alone, what we did, maybe I could just, like, we could just keep doing it together until you got more comfortable? If you wanted..."

"I want," he whispered.

"Yeah, okay. Yeah. Like now? We could, do you wanna do it now? Are you hard?"

He wriggled his toes so that they pressed more firmly against Ian's butt. "Are you?"

"Like a rock," Ian admitted.

"Yeah, me too," AJ agreed softly. "I, we, um, yeah. I'm, ah, just gonna turn off the lights."

"Don't turn them all off, just the overhead. I wanna see you, so I know you're enjoying it. There's no point if you're not enjoying it, right?"

He nodded, then reluctantly pulled his feet from under Ian's butt and got up. It was only after the overhead light was off that he could force himself to look at Ian. Ian hadn't been lying, his bulge was obvious. AJ swallowed hard.

"It'll be just like before," Ian said, perhaps sensing his nervousness.

"Ah, yeah," AJ agreed, sitting down next to Ian. "Should I take my pants off?"

Ian shrugged, then crawled onto the bed, leaning against the headboard. He unzipped his khaki shorts and tugged until his cock was out, then tucked his underwear under his balls. "Whatever makes you the most comfortable."

AJ followed Ian onto his bed, working to wrangle himself free from his track pants and boxer briefs in the process. Once he was settled the waistband of his boxers started digging into his balls. He wriggled around, but it didnt help. He tugged them down around his hips, but that just felt silly and was uncomfortable around his thighs

"Just take em off," Ian suggested. "You've got nothing to be embarrassed about." Still, he hesitated, shifting uncomfortably. Ian pursed hia lips, then lifted his ass off the bed and pulled his pants down. "I'll take mine off, too. Then it won't be weird."

AJ watched Ian struggle out of his shorts and boxers, then pushed his own track pants and boxer briefs down his legs and kicked them off with his feet. "That's better," he admitted, his cheeks warm as his eyes caught on Ian's boner bouncing against his lower belly as he plopped back down beside him.

Ian caught him watching. "You can touch it, if you wanted, I mean."

AJ swallowed hard, then nodded. He reached out and they both shivered when his hand closed around Ian's steely warmth. "You're super hard," he said, feeling idiotic the minute it left his mouth.

Ian chuckled, then reached for him. "You too," he agreed. He gripped AJ firmly around the base then squeezed. "Nice and hard."

He chuckled, then squeezed Ian, too. Ian half snorted and half grunted, his eyes slipping halfway shut. "It feels so different when you touch me, dude. I mean, than from myself, obviously, but, like, from a girl, too. I guess you have man-hands or something."

AJ snorted, rolling his eyes playfully. "Of course I have man-hands. You're holding my man-handle."

Ian looked at him, then snorted out a laugh. "Fuck, dude. You're hilarious." Ian stroked him once from root to tip, then pulled his hand back down to his base.

AJ scooted closer so the angle was better, then began to stroke Ian's cock. "You have nice balls, too," he noted, just thinking aloud. His face bloomed hard, but it was too late to take the words back. He let his brain continue burying him, mostly because it was too late to stop now. "I mean, I didn't get to see them before. They match the rest of the package."

"Thanks," Ian said, sounding embarrassed. "Yours are nice, too. You know, as far as balls go."

"Do girls ever suck them?" he asked as Ian started stroking him again. Ian's fingers were cold and refreshing as they slipped up and down his shaft.

"What?" Ian asked, his hand pausing mid-stroke. AJ made sure to continue stroking, and Ian resumed again. "Do girls suck my balls?"

AJ nodded, his eyes slipping shut as Ian's hands worked magic between his legs. "Yeah. Have you ever had a girl suck your balls, while she's blowing you? I've always wanted to have someone suck my balls, but I've never been able to ask. Like, I don't want them to think I'm weird. But, you have such a nice piece..."

Ian snorted. "No, shit, dude, a little faster, that's fucking good right there. No, I've never had my balls sucked before."

"Do you wanna?" AJ asked. He hadn't meant to ask, it had just slipped out, but now that he had, he really wanted to try it. He forced himself not to squirm with his embarrassed arousal.